Social Question

Zen_Again's avatar

What's it like to have a best friend?

Asked by Zen_Again (9916points) February 22nd, 2010

If you have one, that is.

Do you inter-act with them on a daily basis, confiding in them, relying on them?

Are they of the same sex as you?

Can best friends be from the opposite sex?

I really don’t know what it’s like so I’m curious to hear details.

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29 Answers

TheBot's avatar

I don’t believe I have a “best friend”. The whole concept eludes me. Interesting question to follow!

davidbetterman's avatar

Can best friends be from the opposite sex?

Absolutely yes.

I have best friends, but don’t rely on them. I don’t rely on anyone except myself.
That way I’m never disappointed.

Zen_Again's avatar

Me too, @TheBot – which is why I asked it.

DominicX's avatar

My boyfriend is in many ways my best friend. But I only recently became friends with him (early ‘08). Counting him, I have two best friends. Then another two who come very close (one of which goes to Stanford with me).

But the one who’s been there the longest is my friend Alicia. She’s been my best friend since 6th grade (I moved after 5th grade, so not much chance of being friends with anyone longer than that). She is of the opposite sex, obviously, but I suppose it’s easier since I am gay (she actually did have a crush on me back in middle school). She is an amazing person; we have had so many adventures together (literally hundreds). She was the first person I told I was gay, 3 years before I came out to anyone else. She and I discuss virtually anything (that is a big part of having a best friend), we can always talk to each other. She is the one I can rely on to be able to talk to me if something’s going wrong or if something’s going right, to be honest. I’ve spent more hours with her than any of my friends. Couldn’t count how many times she’s been over to my house and how many times I’ve been over to hers. She is a friend of my entire family. She feels like family, to be honest, and I am very close to my family.

One of the core aspects about a best friend is that they are “always there”. It’s cliched, but it’s true. Now, obviously, since we are at separate colleges (she is only at Santa Cruz which is not that far), we communicate less than we used to, but I still talk to her as much as possible and I visit her as well. She, another friend, and my boyfriend are planning a massive road trip this summer. I cannot wait. :)

MissAnthrope's avatar

I have several best friends. They are people I can trust, confide in, and who I look up to in some way. They’re genuine, caring, real, and I can always count on their honesty and support.

I live far away from them, so our contact is somewhat limited. I don’t feel like I have to talk to them every day, but do keep tabs on them via email, calls, texts, Facebook, etc. I wish they lived closer because I love them all and have a blast hanging out with them.

AstroChuck's avatar

My wife is my best friend so you certainly can have a BF who is of the opposite sex. As to my best friend who is not my wife, we probably see each other only every other month or so even though he only lives about five miles away. We actually call each other brothers instead of friends. And even though we hardly ever see each other I’d lie in traffic for him and he’d do the same for me.

YARNLADY's avatar

When my best friend and I lived in the same apartment complex, we spent most of every day together. It was like having a sister again, only we agreed on more things.

ChaosCross's avatar

It is a nice feeling to say the least, a person that you would relate to so strongly in a period of your life. A very intimate bond that two people share with each other that, if it is real, should not be shaken easily by trivial life matters.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I’m sure Jeruba is a very nice person but if an online person is your best friend, you’re spending too much time online.

ninjacolin's avatar

right now it means i have to stay in my hometown and forgo my first big city move. he gave up a dream job so i would have it. that way, i would be stuck here. so, now he’s working some shitty job and i have his awesome job all because he doesn’t want me to leave. i hate this guy, he’s the best. i was suppose to have left last week but now i guess i’m gonna stick around. he laughed in my face about it: “Ha, so much for your moving plans!” .. i’ll show him.. one day..

susanc's avatar

I have three best friends. I don’t know what I’d do without any of them. They don’t all live in the same town, which is good. They all know each other, but each one is unaware that the other two are also my bf’s. It’s all very third grade.

I have bursts of intense confidences with the one farthest away.
Neither of our beautiful husbands – now both deceased – was very wordy, so an hour or so per day of emailing with this bf was very good medicine. Then she got with her current boyfriend, who’s perfect for her. When she met him she told me he was “the boy version of you”. Now, of course, she has her “boy version of me” to talk to every single day. I adore him, and we all love each other, but I don’t hear from her as much now. Dang.

Just_Justine's avatar

At one point I had a lot of best friends. They all moved though over seas. I somehow landed up with my current best friend. He is a gay male. I love him to bits. But not in the beginning! He kind of forced himself on me as a friend. But once I got used to him around I realized I adore him. I never ever just threw all my stuff at one person I used to spread it out over my other best friends. I felt some could understand some information and others, other information. As I have grown older I realize best friends are busy, they also have lives and so I try to fit in with theirs. I mean chat when I can. I guess I have always had best friends. He also moved and I miss him terribly.

Zen_Again's avatar

@Captain_Fantasy Jeruba isn’t my best friend. We do not know each other at all, although we’ve been fluther-buddies for ages now, and share simliar interests and outlooks at times. Interestingly enough though, when I was recently quiet (here) for a few days, only she PMed to see if I was alright. She is, as far as I know, happily married and probably has dozens of friends in real life, as she is a lovely lady. Why do I include her in my details? It’s become somewhat of a running, inside joke. I include her in almost all of my recent questions (I’ve asked about 400 by now) sort of as a calling card (only I care, though) and also to “call her attention” to the question. And because I worship the ground she walks on, of course. ;-) Ahhh Jeruba… * sigh *

faye's avatar

My best friend is from is from 1964. We might not talk for a month then more, then less. But when we need each other, we’re there to count on and it’s a lovely comfortable thing.

Violet's avatar

What’s it like to have a best friend? I haven’t had traditional best friend in a long time. My boyfriend is my best friend now.
But when I did have a traditional best friend we had a lot of fun. We use to laugh so hard all the time. We were such goof balls. Everyone thought we were a lesbian couple..

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I’ve had dozens of best friends over the years… until they got to know me

lillycoyote's avatar

Having a best friend is the greatest thing in the world. Not that we don’t have fights sometimes, we had our first big screaming, yelling blow out in years just a couple of months ago, but were over it. He has been my best friend for over 25 years, and yes, you most certainly can have a best friend who is the opposite sex. I also have another friend who is sometime one of my two best friends or my second best friend or someone who was my best friend but now I’m not sure what’s going on. The relationship can get a little complicated sometimes. She and I have been friends for 34 years now. Yes. I’m old, but not that old. I have another 3 or 4 friends who I am also very close to. Friendships you build up over a lifetime can be amazing but of course, you don’t go 25, 30, nearly 35 years of friendship without a few, sometime more than a few ups and down, and ins and outs. I don’t have a lot of friends but the ones I have I’ve known for a long time and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

Haroot's avatar

My girlfriend is my best friend. Second in line would be the girl I would have asked out had I not asked out my girlfriend. Third is a girl I’ve know since pre-school, liked for four years but never asked out.

There’s a pattern there…

All my other friends seem to be drizzling away with college.

Rarebear's avatar

I speak to my best friend by texting every day. I see him once a year but because we communicate so frequently, it’s not a big reunion or anything.

TheJoker's avatar

I do have a best friend, although the dynamics are very different to the best friends I had when young. I don’t see him very often as he lives about 6hrs drive away, but basically, it’s like having another brother…. although one you can say anything to without the fear that it’ll get back to mum.

Cruiser's avatar

I have had 5 best friends in my life and universally for me they have always been someone you trust implicitly, can talk to about anything, can spend hours together on end just goofing or idling by and they share many similar interests as you. 1st four were guys, my latest is a woman.

Trillian's avatar

I had a best friend of the opposite sex. We would finish each others sentences and play games together and just spend hours in each others company and hardly talk at all. When He started dating and then got married, we deem it would be inappropriate to spend so much time together, so we rarely visit now. The friendship is still there though.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I have a best friend and I do interact with them on a daily basis. Yes, this person is the same sex as me and I’ve known this person for 26 years. Yes, you can have a best friend that is the opposite sex and I have one of those also and have know that person for 21 years now. Having a best friend or best friends is a wonderful experience in my opinion. Here are some quotes I’ve always enjoyed that I think exemplify my thoughts on best friends.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

janbb's avatar

I have three “best friends”; women with whom I share my lfie and mind. I walk and talk with one of them several times a week, another I talk with on the phone several times a month, and the third is across the country and I talk to her about five times a year and see her once or twice. She has been my friend since we were in nursery school and when we see each other our talk is not about the past, it is very deep and meaningful and intense. I feel priviliged to have these women in my life; they sustain and enrich me. There are a number of other men and women I am close with but these three are the core.

wundayatta's avatar

My official best friend—I haven’t seen in two years or more, and have only emailed a few times. We don’t seem to feel very urgent about getting together any more.

My secret best friend saved my life two years or so ago. She was depressed, too. I was very close to suicide, as was she. We were trying to figure out how to do it, and the more we talked, the more absurd it became and the harder we laughed. Eventually we couldn’t stop laughing. Any noise at all would send us into further laughter.

She gets me. She is amused by me. She amuses me. We call each other on our bullshit right away, and we implicitly trust the judgment and advice of the other. If I wouldn’t have made one significant mistake…. naw. Without that “mistake” she’d never have become my friend. Unfortunately, because of that, my wife has asked me never to speak with her again.

So, it seems, functionally speaking, I have no best friend. I really, really, really wish I did.

TehRoflMobile's avatar

I usually have a couple best friends. Really a tight-knit group that gets along really well.

This doesn’t mean I limit myself to this group or consider it a click.

This group is just a group of people that I’m willing to say whatever I want without fear of a backlash. I’m allowed to act however I want and still be accepted. I can call up these friends whenever I want and do something any day of the week. We always accept each other.

irocktheworld's avatar

It feels great.I have a best friend and we are practically inseprable! We talk on the phone every day and when we’re not talking we’d be constantly emailing each other.Having a best friend is having a person that you can talk to about everything! Telling them secrets! Telling them things that you are completely comfortable with.They give good advice and help you through life when it’s a roller coaster ride.Having a best friend is one of the best things.:)

Zen_Again's avatar

A friend will help you move.
A best friend will help you move a body.

Trillian's avatar

@Zen_Again You could integrate the two. Put the body in the couch, move the couch. You could call it a hide-a-corpse!

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