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TILA_ABs_NoMore's avatar

Do you catch yourself turning into your mother or father?

Asked by TILA_ABs_NoMore (895points) February 26th, 2010

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? If it’s bad…what steps, if any, are you taking to ensure that doesn’t happen?

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26 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I have, at times, channeled both parents. Sometimes I can see the good in that, but usually it is the bad I see and am horrified about.

Usually seeing it and recognizing it is enough to stop me in my tracks.

urban_mermaid's avatar

I think there are times when I find myself saying things that one of them would have said, but I don’t think that I’m turning into either one. As to whether it’s a good or bad thing, it depends on how much you admire or value your parents. If you think they are great people, it’s probably okay to emulate them to some degree, or the qualities you like. However, if they are not nice or you have issues with them, observing and understanding what drives those negative qualities will help you to identify when you might be exhibiting those.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I can only hope that I turn into my mother:) I act more like my father

TILA_ABs_NoMore's avatar

@urban_mermaid Unfortunately…my mother is not someone who I would like to be. What scares me is that she’s turning into HER mother, who she used to complain was cold. I know that I love my kids but I have to wonder if she didnt love me the same when I was little. I hate to think that I could ever end up hurting my kids. If it’s genetic…is it a losing battle?

CMaz's avatar

Every day I get older.

Jude's avatar

Yes, my Mom, and it’s a great thing. My Mama was a strong, independent woman with a big heart.

TILA_ABs_NoMore's avatar

@jjmah That’s awesome :-)

mattbrowne's avatar

A little, at times. But it feels strange.

kevbo's avatar

In my 20s, I became acutely aware that many philosophical and pragmatic arguments among friends and acquaintances were actually the arguments and reasoning of the parents of my friends and acquaintances, so I’ve long kept that in mind as a life lesson. Nowadays, my thinking is so beyond the pale that I doubt I resemble them much in that regard.

shrubbery's avatar

I do. My dad’s a cop and even when off duty he will chase after someone and flash his badge if he sees someone doing wrong. If I see someone on a mobile phone while driving or something like that, I’ll automatically go to write down their number plate. I don’t really mind this, I’m glad I’ve inherited his morals I guess :P
My mum sometimes gets really cranky at the cashier if something goes wrong or a wrong price scans up when we’re shopping, and I get really embarrassed and try to tell her it’s not the cashier’s fault and then walk away. But a couple of times I’ve caught myself doing the same thing, and I have regretted it.

lonelydragon's avatar

Once in a while, yes, but I try to be aware of those times I accidentally mirror their bad habits, and try to adopt the good ones.

Cruiser's avatar

I am my dad’s twin image but more like my mom in spirit and am very happy to say I am good with it. My parents are good people!

jeanna_'s avatar

My mother and I share many things, such as our honesty and love for the arts. I love and respect my mother greatly, but I do not want to turn into her (we won’t even discuss the man who is my father). I try to take the good things from both of my parents and get over the bad things so that I don’t end up repeating their parenting mistakes.

SundayKittens's avatar

YES. Down to my handwriting.
And it’s amazing because I’ve never lived in the same state as my father but I write just like him and am told by mother frequently “Oh my God, you sounded just like your father”.

essieness's avatar

Every. Single. Day.

There have been little signs along the way, but it was when I started making Sunday pot roasts that the deal was sealed.

jca's avatar

i say phrases my mom uses, which i always catch myself doing. my mom is artistic and a good cook. i don’t cook that often. one thing about my mom is she has a Master’s Degree, which she got when she was a single mom, divorced from my father. i wish i were that ambitious, however, i also recognize there were circumstances that enabled her to do it when she did and circumstances make it extra hard for me to do now.

deni's avatar

My mom. But I think that’s a great thing. She is the nicest most pleasant, kind, generous person ever. I’d never think of it as a bad thing. Except that when she’s in a bad mood she can have a bit of a temper. It’s rare but I’m the same way. Unfortunate but I’ll take the one bad thing alongside all the good.

Jack79's avatar

A little bit, and only in certain respects. I am a lot stricter as a father than I ever thought I’d be, and often do things my dad used to do (but which made sense to start with, anyway). I’m still very different from my father as a person though.

susanc's avatar

The mirror says yes.

faye's avatar

Yes and then I shake my head and change whatever I thought!!!

YARNLADY's avatar

I hope so, they were wonderful people. I endeavor to be just like them.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

There are certain positive traits I got from my parents and that comes through when life gets tough – there are many traits of my parents that I dislike and am very conscious not be that way.

chocomonkey's avatar

@kikibirdjones – re the HANDWRITING! Me too!!! Why is that?!!!

I think I write more like my dad when I’m tired or anxious. Maybe I grip the pen differently? I don’t know that for sure… just looking for some possible reason! It’s eerie!

chocomonkey's avatar

Both, simultaneously! And also, neither. I see them in me (handwriting yes!), but I also see bits that I think are my own. I even sometimes see my children’s grandparents in them. It’s wild.

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