General Question

panzerfaust's avatar

How do I let my friend know I want her, without making her very uncomfortable?

Asked by panzerfaust (34points) March 5th, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

scamp's avatar

Just tell her that you your feelings for her have grown, but that the friendship is most important. Tell her you’d like to see if you could take things to the next level, but only if she feels right about it.That way, if she wants to only be friends, she won’t feel odd about you.

thankgodforbeef's avatar

that question alone makes me uncomfortable

delirium's avatar

It all depends on the situation. Is she dating someone else? Does she show signs of flirting with you?

Patrick_Bateman's avatar

get drunk with her and do it.

that way you can blame the drink if things go south.

if things go great drunk sex is sometimes the best.

panzerfaust's avatar

Responding to Delirium;
She’s not dating or seeing anyone,
and yeah she flirts, but I think that’s just in her personality..

Perchik's avatar

I think that word “want” is whats going to make her uncomfortable. If she’s like most women, she will want a relationship before you can sleep with her. However, creating a relationship just to sleep with her is a pretty thoughtless thing to do. You have to learn that you will find certain people attractive physically and sexually (not quite the same thing) but you can’t always get what you want. If you really want a relationship with her, then pursue that. If you’re just in it for the eventual sex, then I’d say don’t bother.

djbuu's avatar

You say want her like you would want a chicken sandwich or a new car. This is a person, not some object to be wanted. Maybe that’s not the spirit in which you intended the question, but ultimately your creep factor plays a big role in attraction. If you’re as smooth as this question, stay away.

panzerfaust's avatar

Heh I suppose I came off a little creepy in the way i put the question, however what I neglected to mention is that this girl isn’t exactly the relationship type. Trust me, I’d love to date her, but she just doesn’t want to get into a relationship with anyone (not right now at least).

cwilbur's avatar

If you think that proposing a more physical relationship will make her uncomfortable, don’t do it. There are women who enjoy casual sex, but there are very few women who enjoy being treated as a conquest. If you don’t think she’d be interested in casual sex with you (and from your question, you seem to think she’d be made uncomfortable by the suggestion), move on.

panzerfaust's avatar

It’s not the casual sex that would make her uncomfortable, it’s the fact that we’re friends, and have been for a while. Not to mention she’s told me she’s wanted to sleep with me a while back, but (long story short) we got in a fight, kinda stopped talking for a while, and now are close again. I really should’ve explained more in the original question…

djbuu's avatar

If you’re so sure she will, be a man and make a move. Dont ask just wait for an uncreepy opportunity to go for a kiss and do so. If she isnt into it, you know your answer.

scamp's avatar

So let me get this straight. You want to be friends with benefits, right? You don’t want the hassle of dating, You just want to sleep with her? that doesn’t sound like a very good friend to me. If you are just loooking for a one nighter, you can’t do that with a friend and expect the friendship to last. True friends don’t use each other that way.

Justnice's avatar

I think if you really like her you should just go for it. If she flirts with you then she must be comfortable with you. Even if she doesn’t want you, she’ll be comfortable enough to say no and still be friends with you

kfiz's avatar

If your willing to wait long enough you can get the best of both worlds. Marry her. Then you can be best friends… And then some…..

DJM's avatar

omg! I can’t believe all these long complicated answers. Peolple, be true, be honnest! Dude, if the feeling is right, you go for her! If u don’t go for it, ur answer is a 100% “no”. If u do, then 50%

Perchik's avatar

@DJM can you please try to spell words correctly as a courtesy to others?

Zaku's avatar

She’s single and flirts with you and “Not to mention she’s told me she’s wanted to sleep with me a while back”, so why are you expecting to you’d be “making her very uncomfortable”? And why when she asked before, didn’t you say yes?

Assuming you’re just confused, two ideas: 1) Flirt more seriously, leading to touching, stop when/if she responds unfavorably. 2) Ask her if she still wants to sleep with you.

danzig's avatar

Just whip it out.

Response moderated
delirium's avatar

kfiz… its not homosexual, as far as I know. I didn’t know words even had sex, let alone sexual preference.

(Nor is it annoying. Its courteous. Play by the rules. )

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