Social Question

Sophief's avatar

How low have you sunk?

Asked by Sophief (6676points) March 1st, 2010

How low have you made yourself go to snoop on someone?

Do you even do it? Do you trust completely and don’t need to? Have you ever snooped only to find so much more? Or have you completely thought someone was playing away, only to snoop and find they were telling the truth?

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31 Answers

Jude's avatar

I don’t.

CMaz's avatar

Snooping is for snoops.

Now jealousy is another story.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I had absolute trust in my lady as she had in me. There was never any suspicion in my mind.

Just_Justine's avatar

I’ve always been of the opinion that if I am going to snoop, then I must be prepared for the punch. However, for some reason I do not snoop. I just feel if I do snoop the real question for me is not so much the snooping, but why I find the need to snoop. Better still as I have gotten older, I really could care less about snooping. Oddly I had this conversation with someone today, I seriously wouldn’t mind if my lover/SO had another partner, or six it is the “lie” that hurts. So if he is open with me, the doors are wide open and I would still love him. I think for me it comes with knowing I never own a person in any shape or form.

Sophief's avatar

@Just_Justine What a great answer. I feel the same.

JeffVader's avatar

I’ve never snooped on a partner, I’ve only felt jealousy for one person & there was no opportunity to snoop on her, not that I would of course :)
I did snoop on my brother once as I suspected he was dealing a few drugs to his friends…. as it turned out he was just keeping an enormous stash of porn ‘for his friends’... yeh right!

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield At least you found out! I have never snooped on any past partners.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

My lady had another partner, we all lived together and there was no jealousy. It worked out well since I was deployed overseas so much; I knew that her girlfriend provided her with needed love and security.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Generally I figure if someone has something they’d rather you didn’t know, then there’s probably a good reason for it. Besides, with all the skeletons crammed in my cupboard I’m hardly the poster boy for disclosure.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

There have been times where I read texts that weren’t for my eyes.

Sophief's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir and what was the outcome?

BoBo1946's avatar

Waste of time! Don’t! Got enough problems taking care of my own!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Dibley the outcome wasn’t one I was expecting – it led to a kind of misunderstanding/bump in our marriage – it led to learning something I wasn’t aware of in terms of my husband but that didn’t have to do with the original indiscretion – it led to a tough couple of weeks, to forgiveness, to renewed love and growth

Kokoro's avatar

When I have snooped, there have been times I have found what I was dreading, or worse. Sometimes I wouldn’t find anything. Obviously I didn’t trust him, but he always had an excuse “I forgot” or “It wasn’t important.” I’ve also been told “If you look for something, you’re going to find it.” So to be honest I don’t really know if he was ever trustworthy or lying.

lazydaisy's avatar

I have never been a snoop because I would not care to be snooped on.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’ve not snooped. I’ve been snooped on, but I’ve not snooped. I figure if I’m meant to know something, I’ll find out eventually.

partyparty's avatar

No I’ve never snooped, nor would I ever want to. I trust my SO implicitly… anyway why would I ever find anything… he has me LOL

Trillian's avatar

Well, I turned into a detective for my kids. I find stuff out without snooping with an SO.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I once scrolled through my partner’s text messages and confronted him about pics a longtime friend of his was sending him. The problem became not only my intruding into his personal stuff and what prompted me in the first place but if I had done it before, did he believe me, would I do in the future, etc. Once you go low, crap hits the fan.

Sophief's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s never fun to find things out. Pleases things are working out for you now. Do you still look every now and then or are you trying to trust?

@Trillian How did you do that?

@Neizvestnaya Are you still together?

Trillian's avatar

@Dibley Be a detective for my kids or find stuff out? The kid thing was involuntary. I went to get something for my daughter’s friends not even thinking about it, and lo and behold! She had been smoking, all kinds of things. I then waited for her to get back from her walk and turned her room upside down while she sat there She was 13 and up until that point I had never invaded her privacy. Lesson learned…
With any SO I’ve ever had, I just find stuff out by accident, so there really isn’t any “way” I do it! It’s like the universe conspires against them every time, and I don’t have to do a thing.

Sophief's avatar

@Trillian Does your daughter still smoke?

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Sunk and still sinking with an anchor permanently dangling from my big toe!!!!

Berserker's avatar

This is how I learned that I’m not the center of the Earth. Yes I’ve snooped, and have went to great lengths to do it.
If you don’t mind I’ll keep the instances out of my answer, but it’s happened. I’m not particularly shamed about it really, but anything pertaining to me that I had discovered was insignificant, amounting itself to mere caprice or gossip. I never really found out anything important, because I also figured that, in certain instances when you’re important enough in someone’s scheme to screw you over, use you or cheat you or whatever, they won’t speak of it, like I didn’t speak of it when entertaining my methods to find stuff out.

People aren’t always talking about me, I’m not really important to anyone nor do they plot against me, in fact I discovered that I’m really not in anyone’s mind, or at least not at that one given time. (S.)
Which is a sad discovery, because I spent time thinking about other people, in positive light at first, but the lack of attention turned me into a temporary seething mass of hate haha. Lame.

When the otherwise situation presents itself, as inconvenient as it may be, dealing with things as they occur is much easier than to try and stick batons in their wheels, so to speak.

Anyways yeah, I’m overall a horrible person, but I don’t care much haha.

Violet's avatar

ooo good question!
I had a former bf who was a total drug addict. I would search through his things like I was with the DEA. But, that is because he was a drug addict, and I didn’t trust him at all, and I always found his stash.
I never have to snoop with my boyfriend now I trust completely. I did actually went through his cell phone 1 time when we first started dating with a friend of mine, but it was in an immature giggly kind of snoop, it had nothing to do with trust

Sophief's avatar

@Symbeline Just because you didn’t find proof you weren’t on someones mind, doesn’t mean your not, but sorry you feel that way.

@Violet How do you know you trust him?

Violet's avatar

@Dibley He is a kind, loving person. I use to only date assholes, but when I met my current bf, I took a chance with the “nice guy”, and I am so glad I did.

Sophief's avatar

@Violet I’ve never dated bad boys, never saw the attraction, just always wanted someone I could be so in love with. Pleased you’ve found someone good.

Violet's avatar

@Dibley what made you ask the question? You said,“I have never snooped on any past partners”, but what about your current parnter?

Sophief's avatar

@Violet I just wondered how many people did it. Wanted to know if I should and what my reasons should be.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Dibley, yes we’re still together but had to discuss what each of us understood as harmless or innocent behavior and also what’s appropriate between respectful friends once a partner enters either of their lives.

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