Why can't I trim my moustache straight?

My mustache was getting a little shaggy so I decided to trim it this morning. It’s been a very long time since I last evened it up and the wax was not holding the curl very well. My first pass made it lopsided, as did my attempts to make it even. Before I knew it, I was left with a tiny patch that looked like I had exhaled coal dust on my lip. (ala Charlie Chaplain) So I shaved it off. This is only the second time in thirty years I have had a nekkid lip. Exactly the number of times I have trimmed on my own. I fail… and now my lip is so ticklish I am sick to my stomach.