Social Question

iphigeneia's avatar

Are women really more bitchy than men?

Asked by iphigeneia (6224points) March 7th, 2010

Most people I know believe that females are far more inclined to bitchiness than males, who are more forthcoming about problems that they have.

Given that women have been taught for centuries to not step on anyone else’s toes, to always act sweetly and politely, and to accept all situations passively, I can see how such habits have evolved.

However, I haven’t had the privilege of listening in on manly conversations, so I’m not sure. To what degree is this stereotype true?

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70 Answers

chyna's avatar

Hell no.

dutchbrossis's avatar

it is not. I have known just as many bitchy males as I have females. It is all within the individual person.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’m not one to appreciate generalizations about genders but in what society do you think men are socialized to be ‘forthcoming about their problems’ – cause it ain’t ours.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have known plenty of both :)

iphigeneia's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Not all problems, just things like “I didn’t like what you did there.” Then again, that is what the teachers always used to tell us girls when they suspected we had gone too far.

nicky's avatar

I think the main problem with generalizations is that they totally negate the concept that every person is different regardless of gender or racial labels. In my experience though, I have known extremely bitchy men and women; you just never know!

Just_some_guy's avatar

Both men and women have their moments certainly. I do agree with dutchbrossis. I know some terribly bitchy men. Co-workers usually. I also know many women that act about the same. Women seem to use spiteful tone of voice and then act as if they didn’t tho. In my experience anyway. Men are usually strait out bitchy. Sry to generalize but once again this is based on my experience with bitchy people.

josie's avatar

The stereotype is generally true. Sorry to all the Fluther folks who feel the need to give the socially acceptable answer. Oh well…

judochop's avatar

There are many differences in gender and to not recognize those differences is not very smart.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

The stereotype is generally true. No apology to all the Fluther folks who feel the need to give the socially acceptable answer. Oh well…

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@josie if you think the socially acceptable answer is the logical one, one we back up with experiences from our own lives (instead of discrediting that of others), then this is one social convention I’ll be a part of.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: Men don’t bitch as much. They actually address the problem. Women bitch in the hopes of getting someone else to address it.

DominicX's avatar

Well, they’re more bitchy than straight men. Gay men on the other hand…

But seriously, I have no idea. I don’t know too many “bitchy” people as it is and to be honest, I hear bitching from both sexes.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish Yes, thanks for the clarification – I disagree.

shrubbery's avatar

A lot of the time it seems that most of my guy friends are bitcher than my girl friends, but then sometimes it’s refreshing to hang out with the guys instead of the girls, so who knows.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@shrubbery: I am sorry to hear this of Aussie men. To be sure we are cultivating some spineless wimps in America but there are still plenty real men here as well.

dutchbrossis's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I agree with you. I don’t usually like generalizations much either. Especially this one. Both sexes can be bitchy.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish D: Explain to me what a real man is and how men are “spineless” and how, even if they are, that makes them less of a man… or more of a bitch?

dutchbrossis's avatar

@josie and @malevolentbutticklish It has nothing to do with wanting to give the “socially acceptable” answer. I could care less about being socially acceptable, it is about the fact that there is no reason to generalize one “gender” as more bitchy. There is plenty of each sex that is bitchy.

iphigeneia's avatar

@dutchbrossis but what if one gender is generally more bitchy than the other? Generalisations are used every day for multiple reasons: calculating insurance, profiling criminals, developing ad campaigns. In this case, if it’s true that girls are generally more bitchy than boys, it can assist in the creation of anti-bullying programs and help teachers to understand the social dynamics of their classes.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@iphigeneia well how would you ever get an actual grasp on this? what is defined by bitchy, what kind of a study would you do to bring about proof of this hypothesis? it’s all vague.

iphigeneia's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I define bitchy as likely to say mean things about other people behind their backs.

I’m sure that studies have already been performed on this issue, based on observation and perhaps (less reliably) surveys. I just want to know what everyone else thinks.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@iphigeneia well that’s all just swell – but people’s opinions aren’t proof of much.

SeventhSense's avatar

It depends on which week of the month we’re talking about…

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@iphigeneia @Simone_De_Beauvoir: email data mining could tell us about online. Phone calls are also recorded. You may not have access to the data but it is there.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre: However you define a real man he is not a spineless bitch. That is a certainty!

Haleth's avatar

@iphigeneia @malevolentbutticklish So in other words, you have no proof that women are bitchier than men. The burden of proof rests on the accuser.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@Haleth: OK. Let’s assume women and men are exactly equal on the bitchy-scale. Throw in that women have periods and men don’t and what happens? The scales are tilted.

escapedone7's avatar

I just think we use different words to describe when a male is being difficult, like calling him a jerk or asshole or dick. (sorry for the cursing.) I rarely call a man a “bitch” unless he’s a drag queen and just beat me up with his red purse. I think men and women can both have their bad days, we just choose to use different words to insult them.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

There is no doubt about that!!!!!!

davidbetterman's avatar

Of course women are more bitchy than men. why do you think they call it bitchy?

HTDC's avatar

@davidbetterman The last time I checked women were not female canines…You do understand that right?

ucme's avatar

This thread provides the answer to the question perfectly.Bitchfest.

HTDC's avatar

How so?

ucme's avatar

A perfectly reasonable question was asked & it prompted sniping on who was in the right. I will take no such part in petty squabbling.

HTDC's avatar

I’m sorry, maybe I’m not understanding, who was sniping? Not trying to start an argument, but sniping is defined as the making of malicious, underhand remarks or attacks.

I don’t recall seeing such things on this thread. So I’m not quite sure where you get that idea from. I see a little bit of healthy debate but that’s about it.

mattbrowne's avatar

On average maybe a little.

But on average men think they know it all offering solutions to practically everything when it would be much wiser to just shut up and show some empathy.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@iphigeneia: I gave you a great answer because you appear to be one of the few people here who is even willing to contemplate that two groups of things or people may share similitudes and differences.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish I don’t define it, it’s a completely useless concept. This is why I asked.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre: The concept of a man who is not a spineless bitch is a useful concept to me. If it is truly a useless concept as you propose then you don’t care which column your actions classify you under?

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish no – the concept of “manly” is pretty useless. Spinelessness is a separate issue, no?

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@JeanPaulSartre: again, if the concept of manly is useless to you then you wouldn’t mind if your girlfriend was “manly” with a deep voice, chest hair, and adams apple? More power to you Jean Paul. These concepts have meaning to me and my life is better for not ignoring them.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish things you are describing have to do with one’s biological sex and physical attributes and not necessarily gender which is socially constructed – his ‘girlfriend’ is me and I don’t identify as a woman (even if I have female parts)...the reason why the concept of manliness is useless is because what you consider manly is not what others consider manly and though it’s okay for you to have ideas about what makes a ‘real man’ (you sound like a sane person)...others act out violently and wrongfully against those who don’t fit their concepts of gender.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: physical attributes are part of manly—so are non-physical attributes. Of course there is some conflict in opinion of word definitions. This is especially true in continuums. When does off white become light gray become simply gray become dark gray become black? This difference of opinion or gray areas does not mean these words are useless.

keobooks's avatar

Honestly, I it’s true that women have been taught to be sweet and demure and not cause conflict—and that MAKES them bitchy. I know many passive aggressive women who get angry that they “can’t” confront someone directly and they will do little snarky things like loudly mutter under their breath to make sure you can hear it or hold a grudge for YEARS over something little rather than just let it out. And when they hold that grudge, they will just pick and snipe about petty meaningless things without discussing the issue that got them all steamed in the first place. That to me is bitchy.

I am a woman, and I find women like this unbearable. I admit though, I have to fight it within myself. I have a hard time being upfront and telling someone when they tick me off. But when I do, I have a much lower tendency for that backhanded bitchiness.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@keobooks: Thank you for your candor. I am glad to hear some of this from a women because I think it is less likely to be written off.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish we make gender not useless but to pick something extreme along that continuum and call it a ‘real man’ is.

dutchbrossis's avatar

I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir and @JeanPaulSartre on this one.

I don’t have an opinion on what a “real man” is. A real person of either sex will recognize there shouldn’t be limits. An example of this is my ex boyfriend refused to wear the color pink because he said it is a “girls” color. I thought this was pretty ridiculous, pink is just a color and if someone likes that color they should be able to wear it regardless of what they have between their legs.

Women are not more bitchy than men, someone above me is right. We just use different words for it, but there are some people that are bitchy and some that arent.

davidbetterman's avatar

The idea of a ”Real Man” is now an anacronism. It is an idea whose time came many decades ago and no longer holds any relevance in the 21st century.

Here is a list of what a”Real Man” really is supposedly! The modern day real man, that is…

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@davidbetterman: The 21st century is forgetting many of the lessons we previously learned and calling the regression progress. The Hemingway “Real Man” still holds relevance.

davidbetterman's avatar

No it doesn’t.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish what kind of relevance should it hold?

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: Life and family work better when men assume the role of men and women assume the role of women. Hemingway had a better grasp on the male role than the current crop of metosexuals.

davidbetterman's avatar

LOL…Now you’re gonna get it…here it comes…

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish I consider that view to be heterosexist and sexist. In my family, no one follows gendered roles and we’re more balanced and close than any couples struggling to uphold roles they don’t feel are relevant.
@davidbetterman he’s not going to get it – if this is the view that works for you, fine…however, it doesn’t work for many because of the inherent inequality built into it.

davidbetterman's avatar

Ahh, you mitigated your response. I am disappointed.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@davidbetterman yes because I concern myself with keeping you happy

davidbetterman's avatar

Don’t tell Jean Paul

davidbetterman's avatar

Is ironiy a Russian word?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@davidbetterman
I fixed my response…and in Russian the word is ‘ironiya’

davidbetterman's avatar

That’ s что я думал!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@davidbetterman it’s what you ‘dumal’ not misl’ – that’s a noun for thought

davidbetterman's avatar

I’ m немногая ржавое

SeventhSense's avatar

@malevolentbutticklish
The Hemingway “Real Man” still holds relevance.
But don’t forget what happened to Hemingway
Sometimes real men have “unfortunate accidents” so great is their burden.

davidbetterman's avatar

Real Men eat quiche!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@davidbetterman I understand – it’s all good.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

@SeventhSense: Hemingway was diagnosed with haemochromatosis and ended his life. I support his right to make this determination. (I do NOT support Obama death-panels. Making a decision for yourself is totally different than one externally imposed.)

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