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Noon's avatar

Yes, and I was the one “dumped” by my friend. How and why is far to long and complicated to post here, but I will say it was harder than any break up I had with people I had been dating.

Loosing a friend is hard, and loosing one for reasons you aren’t quite sure about is even harder. All I can recommend if you are thinking of dropping a friend is to at least explain your reasoning to the best of your ability. Even if it’s stuff you don’t think they want to hear, it will provide the closer they will need to move on.

cwilbur's avatar

Yes. Friendships are based on commonalities, and people change. When people change in different directions, they grow apart naturally, and have less and less reason to hang out with each other.

Fallstand's avatar

Sometimes its better that way. You may know someone for years but then when things go bad you’ll find out who your real friends are..

Zaku's avatar

1. He was a very messed up person who did bad things to people, which if I had been older/wiser would have been plenty. Thankfully he stole from me, I caught him red handed, I and others called him on it, and he wouldn’t admit, apologize, or repay (it was like $5).

2. Woman I loved came between us, and again I was young and unwise.

3. Lots of drama was going on and I was being a jerk. I’d still like to clear up and salvage that one.

4—?. Probably some people who seemed like (potential) friends but were just trying to get something and went away and got forgotten after they either got what they wanted or didn’t.

?-? Women friends after romantic feelings showed up.

?-?. Just falling out of contact. They’d still be friends though if we ever cross paths.

speakerhead's avatar

NOTE – I am 16 years old, I’m still in high school, but I’ve been through almost everything a high schooler complains about. I just deal with it. But anyway….

I was in 9th grade. Me and my other friend, who I had been friends with since elementary school, were excited. Me and him had done so many things. Both of us weren’t very popular and not the coolest people ever. I had accepted that fact and just dealt with that. My friend on the other hand, didn’t like that fact. He did everything he could to try and be the most popular kid in school. He didn’t care what got in his way. It eventually came down to him getting new “friends” who were popular and could help him achieve his goal of being popular. But instead of just not talking to me, he gets 4 of his new “friends” and just starts to gang up on me. They start to call me things, push me, shove me, and then I got hit a few times. I hit a couple of them in the face and basically after that I had gotten the crap beaten out of me. He just walked away. Our friendship had ended. Now at this time, he still hasn’t gotten anywhere. He now spends all his money on weed and drink’s everyday. he changed schools and as of a few weeks ago he dropped out. Karma is a Bitch.

TheHaight's avatar

we just grew apart after highschool. Simple as that. I’m not going to write my lifes story like everyone else

ironhiway's avatar

Friendship takes 2 people. Who are mutually interested in the beneficial outcome of the other. You can be friends with someone who is not really being friends with you. As ZAKU pointed out #4. As the relationship becomes detrimental or one sided I usually choose to move on.

I have made lots of friends who, do to moving them or I, we have lost touch. I still consider them friends. Crossing paths with a few, after many years, has brought much pleasure in rehashing the good old days.

Riser's avatar

I am not saying this to stir political controversy. I lost almost every friend I had after I came out of the closet. I respect their reasons.

It took my best friend another two years before it was too much for him.

I have new friends now, some of which are uncomfortable with my lifestyle, thatl support me as a human being.

I miss my old friends but there comes a time where we all grow up in our own way. We have to move and treasure the times we had together when we were likeminded enough to get along. all

TheHaight's avatar

so true riser, treasure those memories you once had, because that’s better than no memories at all.

Lightbringer's avatar

yea just recently…. I had a friend who got jealous when I would hang out with my other friends. He was also jealous of my girlfriend. Can you believe that? He would constantly talk shit behind my back when I was hanging out with someone besides him. He also lied about stupid stuff all the time. He likes to tell people that he is a martial arts expert and is in the Greek mafia. I just got sick of all the bullshit and quit hangin out with him. I shoulda done that like two years ago. But I was new to the area and didnt know anyone else. Not a good excuse but whatever.

scubydoo's avatar

i’ve “lost contact” with a few friends. I dont look at it as loosing friends. esp the ones I call my friends. even though we may not talk to each other i still consider them friends. I have several friends I havent seen in years. If i have a good enough relationship to call them friends in the first place, then i consider myself a friend ‘til the day I die. now as for their side of the story , that I can’t answer.

stephen's avatar

not just one, ya cant make sure any friendships are started under your careful consideration. if some friendships are doomed to be over

yellowbrat789's avatar

yeah i have, but i was in 3rd grade when it happened

me and my other friend,alyssa, started some stupid little “lub”(remember we we’re in 3rd grade) and wouldnt let my at the time best friend, chelsea, join the club because she had her own “club”.. any ways. we thought we we’re so cool because everybody in our class joined my club instead of chelseas, and then one day a lunch we got in a fight and then BAM we we’re friends anymore. But 5 years later we’re friends again.. i guess its because we saw each other everday of the week minus saturday and it was just so awkward! but idr

DeezerQueue's avatar

I did, after I found out the person was a chronic liar. This is how it crossed the line.

We had gotten together where she lives and were walking through the downtown area. A woman coming out of a store tripped where some minor construction was taking place. I touched my friend’s arm, told her to wait a moment with her conversation, and went to help the woman get up and make sure that she was all right. My friend remained in the middle of the street, watching. No big deal, I thought, and never mentioned it to anyone.

A couple of months later, she calls me and the conversation turns to how the Dutch aren’t very helpful people. Then she says “A while back I was with a friend in the downtown area where I live. A woman fell while coming out of a store and my friend and I were the only people who went to help her.” Say what? You and your friend helped her? Holy crap, she was so into the lie that she didn’t even remember that I was the person who was with her, and that she just stood, watching.

At first I thought she was a great person, who had overcome an awful lot. But at some point I could no longer ignore the inconsistencies in the stories, not just a few but they were adding up with every exchange we had. I thought I became friends with Tommy Flanagan of Pathological Liars Anonymous and all of the things she told me became suspect.

But when it got to the point where the lies included me as one of the players, that’s when I decided to let it go.

TennesseeTeacake's avatar

a few.
1— she started hanging out with people who i knew werent good people. they were not good influences and made VERY poor decisions. i told her that i wished she wouldnt hang out with them so much but that i wasnt going to demand that she cut them off. it was her choice. in the end she decided to keep hanging out with them so we kind of drifted apart. 3 years later i found out she got rid of those so called “friends” of hers and we hang out again. but i lost a REALLLY good friend for 3 years. im just glad shes back!
2— i liked this guy and we would hang out regularly. id go to his place, hed come to mine, wed go places together. then there was an incident involving both of us (no, not sex) and he basically turned into a huge jerk. he used me to get information and then when he found out what he wanted he cut me out. or maybe i cut him out.. i still dont know. anyways.. we dont talk anymore. to be honest, half of me still misses him, but the other half is thankful hes gone. hmm..
3— my best friend from junior high and i graduated to the high school and she COMPLETELY changed. she went from being a good kid who watched her little siblings, was friendly to everyone, and got good grades to a person who couldnt stand being around people, didnt like to hang out, basically dropped out of school, and began using alllll kinds of drugs. im not sure what happened to her but from what i hear she hasnt changed.. sad story.

babygalll's avatar

We grew apart. I basically grew up and changed my ways as I got older and they basically stayed the same. Sadly, they are STILL that way.

Whattodo's avatar

Sometimes it takes a long time for someone to reveal his or her true colors. When put to the test by circumstances, or a situation that arises in your life or the friend’s, you may see things in the person that make you question whether you the friendship was based on honesty. Or integrity.

yellowbrat789's avatar

yeah, i actually did that this year
she was like my best friend in the beginning of the school year
but about half way though she became really good friends w/ this other person and completely ignored me and the rest of her friends. so i called her out on it and we got in a huge fight and just stopped talking for a while. but now were becoming friends again
i think its because we were so close before everything happened that we couldnt just stop being friends regardless of what happened.

DevilDiva's avatar

I’ve broken up my friendship with my best friend at least twice. Both times was because of my twin sister. I stopped talking to him the first time because my sister considered him her boyfriend and she was afraid that I would steal him from her. I wasn’t allowed to tell him why. So he didn’t understand and he thought he did something wrong. We started talking again 4 months later thanks to my mother. I told him the reason then and we made a pact that we would never break up our friendship again. We would talk about it first before we did anything that drastic. The second time I broke up our friendship, that lasted all of one day. He decided that my sister and I needed to talk, that we needed to be sisters again. That was a joke. She kept attacking me verbally. She wanted to understand my marriage. She wanted to know why my best friend let me stay at his house. Blah, blah, blah. She did this for 3 hours. She refused to hear anything that I had to say. She finally went outside. I was in tears and told him that I couldn’t do this anymore. I didn’t want to fight with her, but I didn’t want to lose his friendship either. I ended up breaking up our friendship. I left with both him and me in tears. We made up the next afternoon. He called me to see how I was doing emotionally and invited me over for dinner. We decided right then and there that he would support me in whatever I did with my sister, as long as it didn’t involve our friendship. I love him and he is the best friend I’ve ever had. I don’t regret a single minute of our friendship.

dalepetrie's avatar

There’s one guy in particular I think of when I read this question. Essentially, my father’s sister who lives 2 hours west of my parents, married a guy whose best friend from high school lives 1 hour west of us and 1 hour east of them, and over the years all 3 families became friends. We would often go to my aunt and uncle’s house when I was a child and they would visit quite frequently on weekends when we were there. The families went camping and fishing together in the summer, had card parties in the winter, we were all pretty close. My aunt and uncle had a couple sons, one 3 years younger than me…the other much younger, and right in between my older cousin and myself was the son of this other couple…he was a year and a half younger than I am. The first time I met him at my aunt and uncle’s house we HATED each other, but as we grew older, we became very good friends.

When we were teenagers we would get together all the time, I often stayed over at his place or he at mine. We’d make road trips together to the closest big city (about 80–90 miles away). We had a lot of common interests that teens often share, particularly music, movies, etc. We always had a great time, even though we lived about an hour apart, and we saw each other a lot. I ended up going to college up by my aunt and uncle’s place, and I got several chances to hang with my friend as he was on the way home for me on the weekends I went home. He ended up not excelling at college, but he always worked hard, and right around the time I graduated college, he moved down to the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. A few months later, I too moved down, and at that point we were mere minutes from each other. We hung out a lot while we were finding ourselves…I was getting established in a career in Accounting, and he eventually took a management job at a printing house.

Well, as we both met women, we had slightly less time for each other, but once he found that job, he kind of became a big shot there…which meant he was working a lot of hours. He eventually met his wife, a co-worker at his job and they were married not long before I married my wife. He opted to elope, so there was no wedding, but there was a ceremony after the fact in his hometown. She came along with an older daughter, and now he had the role of busy executive, married man and stepdad. Each thing either of us piled on our lives did two things…one, it made us more busy and two, it made us less obsessed with the passions we had as teenagers (see movies, music, etc.).

For one period of time, he even rented a duplex about 1/2 a mile from my house, and I didn’t even know we were neighbors until just before he moved out. We still had phone conversations, but it began to feel like we had less “real” to talk about. We had never really engaged each other in any deep discussions. And I found out whereas I’m extremely liberal, he is pretty conservative…we never discussed politics. We never discussed our relationships. We never discussed our feelings. The things we discussed were superficial at best. And, he was always too busy to get together, even if I could make the time.

So, when my wife and I got married, I asked him to be in the wedding…had we gotten married 5 years earlier, he might have been my best man. But as it turned out, I was becoming closer to my college roommate after we left college, and even though he lived back where I grew up (about 3 1/2 hours north of where I am now), he was just more reliable, had more time on his hands, and was better best man material. So, my first friend was sort of second in command as it were.

The big day came, we had our rehearsal, and our subsequent dinner. His parents came down, and though we would have invited them had we known, he sprung that on us at the rehearsal and bailed on the rehearsal dinner. The next day at the wedding, he was there, but even though he was in the wedding party, his step daughter got an upset stomach, so he left 4 hours before the thing was over. I also heard later on that while running some errands, he blew a fuse and went psycho on some of the others in the wedding party. We also had a bbq/gift opening the next day, to which he also did not show up. On returning from our honeymoon, my wife informed me that in filling out the thank yous, they didn’t even bring a gift. I had given them a nice gift for their wedding a couple months before and they if anything had more money than we did, so I’m not sure what all that was about.

After that, I’d hear about his comings and goings from family, and if we had just moved a big piece off furniture or something he might say to my parents “they should have called me”. But they stopped sending us Christmas cards (sent them to everyone else), he never called me…I called a couple times, but eventually let it go. For 7 years we didn’t speak, and it wasn’t like I was angry with him.

I called him out of the blue a couple years ago, because I was up for a job at his company, and he was a bigwig there. Things had been going very well there and I thought I was a shoe-in. After I talked to him for over an hour on the phone in a conversation that was 100% pleasant, the next communication I got from the company was that they were going a different direction. Could be a coincidence.

So I don’t know what I did to tick this guy off, or if it’s really that he just doesn’t have time for relationships he deems to be superficial…maybe this is because he wasn’t the best man, but I discussed that with him going into it and told him it was only because he was always so busy, and he said he understood. So yeah, you just never know….

WakeUp's avatar

Knew a kid longer than my own mother.

I got robbed and jumped, then a few days later, my “brother” went and passed the peace pipe with the guy.

Much like they say about men/women “Men are only as faithful as their options”. Goes for friends too.

sands's avatar

Many times. I’ve never ever regretted dropping any of my former friends. As the saying goes, ” people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. The ones I dropped were in my life for reasons and seasons. Maybe two or three appear to be for a lifetime. Only time will tell.

glowfull's avatar

2 come to mind at first, then lots of people who we’ve just dropped the threads of communication.
basically, the 2 are both cases of crossing the monogamous bond my fiance and i have:
his ex-wife and long-time friend.

it’s not easy to do, yet i absolutely agree that it is good to cut out some folks. the approach to that end is best when care-fully thought through with respect and clarity.


punkrockworld's avatar

I used to be best friends with this girl.We used to sleep over at each others houses all the time for 8 years. Then, when I met my boyfriend she started getting extremely jealous. I told her I’d break up with him if she wasnt cool with it. She said it was fine. After being with him for a year, she told me she couldnt take it and i had to break up. Because me and my boyfriend had been together for a year it was impossible for me to do that. We didnt talk after that day. She just walked right out of my life. She moved out of town and I never saw her again.

asmonet's avatar

Yes, I assume you mean on purpose, as opposed to drifting apart?

I’ve done it a number of times. Sometimes relationships deteriorate to the point where you have to.. or you become so different it seems like work to stay friends. The most drastic friend slashing was when I moved from Florida to Virginia when I was thirteen I dropped all contact with everyone I knew there. In all 20 or so friends. And I couldn’t have been happier.

asmonet's avatar

@punk: You were better off. That didn’t know her place. I wouldn’t have even offered to break up with someone I liked just for a friend. Not talk about him? Not hang out with the two of them together? Sure. Break up? Hells to the no.

XrayGirl's avatar

yes, my friend of 10 years was LATE (30 minutes) for a dinner date for the 3 millionth time since we have known each other, and I put my foot down and told her that I was just going to go back home. I was tired of her being late. This was in February of this year, and we haven’t spoken since….I’m not sure who ended it: me or her, but I have no intention of hooking up with her. Her habitual lateness was just one of several inconsiderate things she did that hindered my perception of her lack of respect for me and herself. We are both over 40 years old. Since we stopped working at the same hospital, we have grown apart anyway.

DevilDiva's avatar

Dee is breaking up her friendship w/ her best friend again. This time, it’s for good. Dee can’t take his BS or her sister’s BS anymore.

everval's avatar

I used to be friends with two girls from high school. We would go everywhere together, trips, parties, etc. When we were in high school I hooked up with the brother and at the same time the cousin of one of them… I know I messed up but in the end it was ok with both of them.. on the other hand she couldn’t get over it. I never harmed her directly but I guess the feeling was just too strong for her because she thought I had hurt them. When we finished high school she started dating my brother, I think at first she did it to get back at me… After a few months they actually started living together. She and I had a “good” relationship or at least that’s what I thought but then I found out that she was saying all this stuff about me behind my back and so I ended the relationship. When she and my brother broke up she called me and said she wanted to apologize that she had always been jealous of me because I would always get the guys and she thought I was pretty bla bla bla… and so I forgave her. Years passed by… I hooked up with his cousin again, but it was nothing serious and he knew it and he was ok with it… two months later I got engaged with someone else and she got mad at me again… We stopped talking to each other for over a year. Things ended really bad this time, we even argued in front of everybody at a party…

I got married, got pregnant, my baby was born… My other friend and I did talk to each other until I got pregnant… everything changed and she was still partying hard. They were both partying hard together… I was the one out of the picture now. So I told the friend that I still talked to that I didn’t want to hear about the other one and it was like I told her the other way around. I just felt like she chose sides… and she really wanted to hang out with the friend she could have fun with and not the pregnant one who could never go out, so time passed by and finally I decided I had to talk to them. So I told them well… past is past… and so we started talking to each other again, I invited them to meet my son… but then a few days ago I just realized we are just in different roads and we just can’t connect with each other. The brother ex’s seems to be a very troubled person and she has like a lot of traumas from the past including what we went through. All of her relationships are like this… fights, problems, drama… and I’m just not going to be part of it… so this time I’m ending it for good… with both of them… because the other one is just like her puppy following her everywhere she goes… they’re just so far away from me right now… I think I changed.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

yes, but only one. well only one for a reason other than growing apart, etc, anyway. and it was so so so stupid, as most things involving high school dramatics are. it used up about a year of my life and i regret having to go through the whole drama that came with it, but i couldn’t opt out in a way.
i’m on a neutral status with the girl now, though i’m pretty sure she’s still posting indirect answers to myspace surveys about those “horrible friends i had last year”. but i don’t care. i’m over it.

kindness09's avatar

You never know who is your truly friend until….

I used to know many people, who I always considered them as my good friends. Well, how many friends do I have now? None, none that I can count on nor I can trust with anything. What happened was, things changed ever since when I was involved into an auto accident and was out of job for a year. Every single person I knew seems to avoided me and does not wanted to conversed with me. Anyway, that’s how life is. I learned to accept it and never look back. It is very difficult to find a good friend who truly accept you for what you are not for what you have.

asmonet's avatar

@everval: It sounds like you changed for the better.

antimatter's avatar

I had plenty of friends until I stopped drinking, smoking, doing drugs and told them I wanted to do community work. I wanted to do something good for a change, same story a Meet Earl, now I am happily married to a woman who likes the same things as what I like and still have no friends.

imhellokitty's avatar

O yes, I was 21 – one of my girlfriends told me she was sleeping with another one of my girlfriends husband. We were at my house and I kicked her out and asked her to never call me again. I was angry about her sleeping with another friends husband, but I was more angry that she told me. I mean what am I supposed to do with that information? Keep it to myself and let it eat me up inside? Jeez!

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I’ve had friends dump me, and it was because of the most recent one (that guy was such a fucking hypocrite) that I created my Rules For Future Friends based on the way he treated me. I took many things about him and used those things to create these new rules.

* Anyone who claims to be always right should never be believed. They should be avoided.
* Anyone who offers to take you ‘under their wing’ will discard you as soon as things become less than rosy.
* Pay close attention to the stories people tell you; people always focus on the things that they have the most trouble with, or instances which they haven’t resolved. People are likely to do to you what others have done to them.
* There is a difference between someone with plenty of knowledge to share and someone who claims to know it all. It pays to know the difference.
* If anyone exclaims they don’t need you and can do it all by themselves, give them what they want as quickly as you can and don’t look back.
* There is nothing more important than your own backyard.
* Anyone can offer their advice; but if they try to force you to accept their point of view over your own best judgement, stand firm and tell em to back off. A friend will accept your honesty, anyone who doesn’t isn’t a friend.
* Real friends do not question the validity of your religious beliefs publicly, no matter what their private concerns are. Anyone who claims to be looking out for your own best interests concerning your ‘soul’ or your religious ‘wellbeing’ by criticizing what you believe is in error. No one has the right to tell you that what you believe is wrong. Those that do should be gently reminded to back off. Those that persist should be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

f4a's avatar

@deezerqueue, yeah right on! what the hell is your friend’s problem? i had a similar situation, i don’t get it how a person can be such a liar! can anyone explain that to me? that they will lie to people to convince them to side with them, how pathetic could they be?

ShanEnri's avatar

Yes! She was one of my best friends growing up! We had our children at almost the same times, both our names are Shannon, her husband was my ex-boyfriend and my husband was her ex-boyfriend. That was just to let you know how close we were. We just quit talking because I realized how shallow she was. She was divorced for a while, I called her when my mom passed away. Now some people said I was wrong for cutting the friendship off, but I do not regret it at all. When I called her all she could talk about was her new boyfriend and how he went to Alaska and should she move there to join him. Mundane crap that I really didn’t care about at the time and still don’t to this day!

Da_Wolfman's avatar

Yes, that bitch. (:

stardust's avatar

Yes. I’ve managed to hold onto the good memories though and let the negative ones fade away (with time)
It’s part of life

smilingheart1's avatar

Who hasn’t had to do this sad thing? It was after a few years of knowing this lady – our daughters were school mates. The woman persued friendship and there was some mutuality there but she would explode and become volatile without warning. It was sad that it had to be that way.

talljasperman's avatar

Yes. Her boyfriend was jealous and asked my best friend not to accosiate with me just because I was a guy. I took it hard.

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