Does Satan have any children?

He may if he actually existed.

Angels are not allowed to participate in marriage (Christian and Jewish belief) so I do not think that he has any kids or a wife.
The term “your offspring” is referring to the humans who fall prey to him.

Sooo… “and hers” is referring to the humans who fall prey to Eve?

Uhh…how’d you find out?

…& who the fuck is their mother? Sarah Palin perhaps?

I thought he just meant the offspring of the serpent-not-as-metaphor-for-satan. Most humans don’t like to get along well with snakes.

ETA: The head/heel thing kind of gives it away.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies really? It is the women that offer themselves to Satan. The Bible is not that hard to figure out. I’ve read through some of your answers, you’re smarter than that.

@ucme DARN YOU, YOU READ MY MIND!!!

@Arp Cest la vie ;¬}

Yes.His name is Bob.I used to date him ;)

That was a 1975 movie.

Glenn Beck is Satan’s child.

@iphigeneia is correct.

Carrot Top

@judochop “It is the women that offer themselves to Satan.”

Yes, absofreakinlootely.

The bible is very easy to figure out one we realize that all of our problems came from other bad women like Eve.

I mean… the list goes on and on…

Athaliah, Delilah, Salome, Jezebel, Maacah, Herodias, Potiphar’s Wife, and Bob too…

Lot’s Wife and Daughters…

I think I flushed one of them down the toilet this morning.

Chalk one up for Goodness!

No, I don’t have any children.

But if you did… would you pay your child support on time?

His name is Damian! “Creepy mock Gregorian chanting.”

In Paradise Lost, Satan does have children. They are Sin and Death. Interesting, right?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies you know you can edit your posts so that you don’t have 900 replies in a thread right?

Protip: It’s Jesus

@judochop could I make it 666 replies?

Welp, my Dad says it’s me. Sorry.

@Chongalicious

Sooo… if your Dad says that you are an evil spawn of Satan, then that makes your Dad… really?

is that how you got the “welps”?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Mhm, he claims to be too evil for Heaven to want him and says Hell is scared he’ll take over. LMAO!

So your Dad is Chuck Norris?

George Bush, Sr. Jr. and Prescott Bush. Adolf, Genghis, Mao, Pol Pot, Stalin, Lenin….

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies the welps…. I don’t know haha just a different way to say “well” :)
And noooo father is a little afraid of the dark. Also, as that t-shirt at Spencer Gifts says, “Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris!”

@davidbetterman

So sorry. I didn’t hear you completely… Was that Stalin or Palin?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies LOL…Yes.

I’m alive, aren’t I?

Is this maybe where “spawn of Satan” comes from?

I believe the correct quotation (sorry, I’m cranky tonight):
And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; He shall trample upon thy head, and thou shalt bruise His heel.

The accepted interpretation of this passage, is that mankind will struggle between good and evil, but will ultimately overcome it, because God will not let harm come to what he has created.

Yes: clergy who follow the path of the scribes and pharasees.

the french.

In some small way, aren’t we all satan’s children?

Yes

(o.k. the video is 10 minutes long, you certainly don’t have to watch the thing, but you get the idea)

I’m pretty sure my ex-mother-in-law was the spawn of the horned lord of the netherworld.

@davidbetterman Lenin, why is he so bad?

Rupert Murdoch

@lillycoyote Thanks for that Lilly.

Just made my day.

Yes. They are prominent figures in the Republican Party and Fox News. Glenn Beck however, who killed and raped (maybe or maybe not in that order) a little girl in 1990, is his retarded little brother.

@mammal
According to Trotsky, Lenin authorized the execution of the Russian Royal Family.
“Execution lists signed by Lenin authorized the shooting of 25 Tsarist ministers, civil servants, and 765 White Guards in September 1918.”

“in a 19 March 1918 letter to Vyacheslav Molotov and the Politburo, Lenin delineated action against defiers of the decreed Bolshevik removal of Orthodox Church valuables: ‘We must . . . put down all resistance with such brutality that they will not forget it for several decades. . . . The greater the number of representatives of the reactionary clergy and reactionary bourgeoisie we succeed in executing . . . the better.’ As a result of this letter, historian Orlando Figes estimates that perhaps 8,000 priests and laymen were executed.”

He helped create and prolonged the Russian famine of 1921, which killed some 3–10 million people.

“Lenin killed 4 million people – men, women and little children. He is the 5th greatest murderer of the 20th century (after Stalin, Mao, Hitler and Chiang Kai-shek).”

@lillycoyote you’re welcome! Always glad to put a smile on your face.

that movie still scare the pants off me. :)

Yes. I’m pretty sure that Sarah Palin and Charro are Satan’s children.

@davidbetterman well, getting people to give up their ill gotten gains and their exploitative habits often requires a little more than just Rhetoric I’m afraid, Barack Obama is living testimony to that. What would you rather? people living and starving in abject misery and in servitude for generation after generation, fobbed off by a cosy clique of well nourished clergy, that somehow their penance to their earthly masters will reap them dividends in the afterworld.

I’m pretty sure murdering people and forcing them into a famine while you are living high on the hog isn’t necessary when trying to lead them out of hard times.
Of course, I could be wrong.
And hiring henchmen like Stalin and Beria as your enforcer/assassins probably doesn’t help make you appear saintly either.

@davidbetterman yes you are wrong, your understanding and appreciation of living conditions in other places in other times are wrong, your simple historical conclusions are wrong, your harsh and sanctimonious and bias and cynical judgement of leadership is woefully wrong. but you can derive comfort in the fact that you are not alone :)

under the circumstances Lenin was moderately restrained. i don’t know why people feel that whole masses of people living in bondage, toiling for a pittance or starving, in complete degradation is an acceptable facet of life.

just remember how many people of the leading and upper class were executed in the course of the French Revolution. are the French revolutionairies children of Satan as well?