General Question

stevenb's avatar

How long should I wait to get another kitten? Does it dishonor my cat that just died if I get one so soon? I miss her terribly, and know I will never replace her, but I miss the companionship.

Asked by stevenb (3808points) March 12th, 2010 from iPhone

My 19 year old cat just died last night. I have spent half of my life with her. Now I am missing her company so so much. Is it a bad idea to get another cat so soon? I know I could save one from euthinisation now. I want my old cat back, but I know that won’t happen. Should I wait? I hope I can luck out and get another healthy and loving cat like she was. Everyone who ever met her loved her, even those who didn’t like other cats. What should I do? Wait six months or a year? I miss my friend.

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36 Answers

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Grieve first. Now’s not the time to get another. Not yet.

snowberry's avatar

The new kitty will not take the place of the old one, but it will help to fill the void. But grieving is a good thing too. Do what is right for you.

unique's avatar

i think the right cat will find you. keep your eyes open.
my old gal was gone for 6 weeks when i found my little man on the side of the freeway

Frankie's avatar

I also think you should wait for at least a couple months. You should fully grieve for your old cat before getting a new one simply to fill a void. Have you thought about perhaps fostering one or more cats before the time comes that you adopt a new one? You mentioned you know a cat that could be saved from euthanasia if you adopt it, but could you maybe offer to foster it until it can have a forever home?

tinyfaery's avatar

Another cat without a home is out there waiting for your love. And you are waiting for hers/his.

mrentropy's avatar

I don’t see anything wrong with getting another kitten now. You can grieve and take care of a new one at the same time. I don’t think you’ll be showing disrespect.

Buttonstc's avatar

If you can save another cat’s life, I can’t think of a better way to honor your recently departed best friend. I think she would wholeheartedly approve.

No one can ever take the place of your previous precious kitty. There will forever be a special place in your heart for only her.

There is no set period of time for this. Every situation is unique. If you are longing for another kitty and you can save a life, why wait and be miserable ? Even with a new kitty, your memory of the previous one will be with you every day for a long long time.

Each cat has their own unique personality. New kitty can never truly take her place. She will just be there with you physically now and your relationship with her will be totally different from your previous one.

If you feel it’s right for you now, go and follow your heart.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Oh, I think you should. Really. It won’t dishonor your other pet. It will be a completely different individual for a pet.

YARNLADY's avatar

As soon as possible. It is exactly the opposite of dishonor, you are honoring the memory of your companion by sharing that feeling with another feline.

davidbetterman's avatar

You cannot dishonor your little baby by getting a new kitteh. Don’t delay. Go ahead and start looking. Perhaps your new kitteh is right outside your door…go look.

majorrich's avatar

Maybe a little time to remember kitty, then bring another kitten to help heal the hurt. They never completely fill the void, but more than make up for it in other ways. Their unconditional love and complete dependence on you heals in a way that you remember the old kitteh and appreciate the new kitteh for his/her own sweetness.

OneMoreMinute's avatar

truly sorry for your loss. 19 years is a long life for a kitty cat. you must have taken great care of her. I respect that about you. I agree with the previous to go with your heart on this new furry-purry one.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Get another one :))

DominicX's avatar

I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but: it’s a cat.

Getting a new one doesn’t have anything to do with the old one. It’s not about making the previous cat less significant, it’s about wanting to have one around because you enjoy the companionship. There is no reason to wait if you really want one now. Go for it.

ragingloli's avatar

No reason not to get one right now. But you should live together a few weeks before you arrange the marriage.

nope's avatar

Personally, I’d get one right away. Of course you will NEVER replace your other cat! A new cat is not a replacement, it’s a new friend to get to know and love. My family had many cats as my sister & I grew up. Some ran away, some died, we grieved for all of them. We always got a new cat (or….FOUND a new cat) very soon after. New cats were quickly loved, but old cats were, and are still to this day, remembered.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I have lived with and lost a series of dogs as they died or required release from the suffering of their last illnesses.

In most cases, I found a new pet to fill the emptiness the loss of a previous beloved pet left.

I still miss some of they decades after they died for the unique contribution they made to my life.

No mourning period is required before allowing your next cat (or dog) to find you.

The way you love and care for for your next pet is in itself a tribute to the love you had for a previous companion animal.

Go ahead and open your heart to a cat that is willing to adopt you!

SundayKittens's avatar

I’m so so sorry. I know it’s hard and it’s okay to grieve over a pet. Especially one you lived with for so long! Hugs to you. I think you should give it a bit of time, but when you’re ready remember that you’re not replacing your beloved friend and their sprit knows that. To honor her think about planting a tree or plant, or even donating in her memory to the shelter that you adopt your next friend from.
I’m positive your cat knows you loved her and wants you to share that with another deserving soul!

holden's avatar

It sounds like now is a good time to get another cat.

thriftymaid's avatar

Oh pleeeese.

susanc's avatar

This is one of the reasons kittens were invented.

stevenb's avatar

So my wife has a female cat right now. My cat was a female also. Can I get a neutered male? Will two females get along better than a male and a female?

Buttonstc's avatar

Generally speaking, it’s usually the reverse.

But it really depends so much on the individual personalities of the cats.

How old is the resident cat ?

Are you planning to get a little kitten or a young adult or almost adult ( 8–10 months old) cat.

Also important is to introduce them gradually over time. The cat who is now with you feels this is her territory.

There are numerous websites which have very specific tips for exactly how to progress things.

I can’t do links on iPhone but a Google search for “introducing new cat ” or something along those lines will yield you some great guidelines.

Also make certain to test the newcomer for FIV/FELV before they have any contact at all. This is very important.

It just takes about 15 mins or less but is very important as both of these are quite contagious. Some shelters do the test prior to adoption bit others don’t. But a vet can take care of it right away at first visit.

stevenb's avatar

@buttonstc, thanks! I’ll google it. I just like to get personal info from live people, if I can, on things like this. I’ll check it out. Thanks again.

susanc's avatar

My experience is that a settled-in grown cat will be furious if you bring in another grown cat, and it will be a lot of trouble for some weeks. But only a very sociopathic grown-up cat will injure a kitten. They’re programmed not to.
Though… my cat Graveyard did eat one of his own newborn kittens, back in the 70’s; we thought he was just smelling it in a loving way, and then SNAP. Bad, bad Graveyard!

lonelydragon's avatar

You won’t dishonor your cat if you miss companionship and want another one. But I still recommend waiting for a while (maybe a few months, or longer, if need be) so you can fully grieve the loss of your dear pet.

stevenb's avatar

My wifes cat is two. I plan on trying for a kitten or young cat.

Buttonstc's avatar

Yeah, susanc has it right. Get a kitten. Or while you’re at it, get two from the same litter.

This way instead of using YOUR hands, feet, fingers, and toes as chew toys they get it out of their system with each other.

In retrospect, I wish I had done that as I’m still trying to convince my fresh little newcomer that it hurts when she bites me.

She knows it does, but she’s just not convinced that she should stop doing it. She is very very fresh.

My dearly departed Velvet was the worlds most dignified cat and would never consider stooping to that level of crass behavior.

But each cat is an individual.

Just_Justine's avatar

If you want a new kitten get one. It’s really personal choice. Don’t feel bad, the new kitty will be happy to be in a wonderful new home such as yours.

stevenb's avatar

Thanks for the answers, everyone. I am looking now. Hopefully I can save one and make it a great home.

How long have everyones cats lived? Do you have inside, outside, or both? I try to keep mine inside so they don’t get smucked by a car, or hurt by mean people.

tearsxsolitude's avatar

I think that it’s pretty clear that you loved your cat dearly and you won’t ever forget what she meant to you, so no. I don’t think it would be dishonering to her. If you feel that you need another kitty than that’s what you should do. You’d be saving and cute and furry life. You’re not replacing your old cat, you’re adding to your family. Just because your other cat died doesn’t mean that she’s still not part of your family. She made a difference in your life and your new cat is just going to add to your life not replace the life that has been taken from you. I hope that helped. I know it sounds cliche and dramatized, but losing a pet is hard and you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting another.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I think you should get another cat now. It might help you get through your grief, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It isn’t like getting married the day after your spouse died or anything. I guess that sounds cold – sorry. I am a cat owner and if something happened to my cat, I just couldn’t deal with the empty house. I would get another right away.

stevenb's avatar

Thanks everyone. I did get a new kitty. He is a sweet but crazy little black and white kitten. I named him Sylvester.

Buttonstc's avatar

Thanks for the update. I wish you and Sylvester many happy years together.

Where did you find him? How long have you had him?

I think all kitties are half crazy for the first two or three years until they get out of “adolesence” and calm down and grow up a little :)

stevenb's avatar

I got him from a rescue Lady here in Spokane. We got my wife’s last kitty from her too. She saves cats from euthinization, and keeps them until they find a home.

Sylvester and his sister were saved, and I felt something with him.
I got him a little while ago, and it has been fun. He has quirks. One is that he NEVER purrs from petting. Only if he is on a certain blanket and kneading.
He also digs in the letterbox like Indiana Jones. It’s funny to watch.
He whirrs. It ia like a meow and a purr together. He walks around the house going whrrrrr, whhrrrrrr. And then of course he meows. When my wife or I leave the room, he starts meowing. LOUDLY! It is like he is calling us or something. He is very sweet though.

Buttonstc's avatar

That’s great.

I had one cat who always acted like she was trying to dig
to China every time she used the litterbox.

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