General Question

joscketSeper's avatar

How can i cope with fact that have high libido but Injured so can never have Sex?

Asked by joscketSeper (323points) March 13th, 2010

I’m in my early 30’s. Never had Sex, I don’t have a girlfriend now but I’m looking. Anyways, in 2004 i got really injured and although didn’t become impotent, i got damaged and have extreme pain and urologists can’t seem to help me. I’ve gone to them but they have no soutions.

Anyways, I have a high libido but i can never have sex . i can’t even mastrubate because i have extreme testicle pain with ejaculation.

I’m stuck here, how can i ever feel happy again?

How did i get injured? From almost nothing. The testicle pain started after one day when i ejaculated and at the moment of ejaculation it hurt really bad. that’s it.
The other part was injured simply by hanving a hard erection, it hurt really bad when i was sleeping and the underware were tight. Doctors have said i have a very weak nervous syste, so that migh have beeen why i got hurt so easily.

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32 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well this sucks but I gotta tell you there are ways other parts of your body will pick up sensations when your expected parts are damaged – you might want to look into how differently abled people have sex – I know many have figured out, with understanding partners, what works for them and they have very healthy and fulfilling sex lives.

LuckyGuy's avatar

You do realize by coming out with this revelation you have just made yourself one of the most desireable men on this forum. Good luck. May the Force be with you!.

Just_Justine's avatar

Well of course “sex” involves many things, including sensual kissing, holding, sharing, pleasing your partner. The wonderful closeness of it. The giving and taking. Perhaps take the focus off your penis and focus to other parts of your body. Of course I am not a doctor but your orgasms could get easier will more orgasms? I would definitely go back to the urologist and ask him for further assistance regards making love. Or ask him to refer you to a sex therapist.

dpworkin's avatar

I’m sure it’s just because I’m a crabby old man, but I just don’t believe a single word you said. I don’t think you’re injured, and I don’t think this is a genuine question.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@dpworkin…..I was just going to post the same thing. The spelling & grammar are all wrong, he’s a newbie, & this just sounds WAAYYY out to me. Nix on this.

dpworkin's avatar

Like Judge Judy says, if it doesn’t make sense, it isn’t true. No one has ever gotten lasting genito-urinary damage from an ejaculation. We’re supposed to ejaculate. Nor do Doctors talk about people having weak nervous systems, unless you go back to 1881 in your time machine to visit the Doctor.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dpworkin I’m sure I’m just not a crabby old man but what would be the purpose of the OP in posting this?

dpworkin's avatar


Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dpworkin don’t know – doesn’t seem like that to me…the question then could have been more sensational – like ‘my dick fell off, the dog chewed it off, etc’

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s too easy to see through this. This is a bunch of BS.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jbfletcherfan no way to know now – clearly even if the person was telling the truth, why would he care to defend himself when he sees your responses.

dpworkin's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir How do you explain the etiology of the so-called “injury”. Does it really make sense that a single ejaculation did so much damage that all urologists throw up their hands on account of a “weak nervous system”?

You are being awfully generous, my darling. And if I am wrong the OP should show up in high dudgeon and tell me so.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dpworkin How the frak should I know? What does it matter to you? move on.

dpworkin's avatar

Aye aye, sir!

I forgot you’re my supervisor.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@dpworkin and @jbfletcherfan Then you should just move on – as this too, is attention.
@joscketSeper I wish you luck – I think you’ll figure something out – ejaculation isn’t the only kind of orgasm.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dpworkin I’m not but neither are you mine and I don’t have to answer any of your proposed questions because I don’t know the user and don’t need to explain myself

Response moderated
Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dpworkin wrong move. as you wish.

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@dpworkin Overreaction much? Only if they’re not asked to get attention, because apparently when they are, I should jump in there and crap all over it?

Response moderated
jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir “why would he care to defend himself when he sees your responses.” Because he did what he intended. He started a discussion on something that a lot of people fell for. I’m outta here. going to the ‘stop following’ button

gailcalled's avatar

And yesterday (his first day) he was looking for a girl friend…trust no one, I say. This sounded very fishy to me also. He discussed his lack of public speaking ability for that problem.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jbfletcherfan thanks for letting us know

joscketSeper's avatar

to whoever said that yesterday i was looking for a GF. yes i am. I want a girlfriend, that has nothing to do with the fact i can’t have sex. I can stil look for a gf, i’m just saying I’m sad and drepressed about the sex part

Buttonstc's avatar

Seems like some people got up on the wrong side of the bed today :D

SuperMouse's avatar

This thread spun out of control very quickly didn’t it?

@joscketSeper I have no idea whether your story is true, but if it is, I second those who said sex is not just intercourse and ejaculation. In fact I would posit that making love is less about ejaculating than touching, holding, kissing, and being intimate with one another’s body. Claiming that a hard on and ejaculating caused you to be permanently unable to have intercourse does sound slightly dubious, but if it is true go find a good urologist and figure out what is really going on.

majorrich's avatar

Well, you and the General Ripper in Doctor Strangelove don’t have to worry about sharing your precious bodily fluids. Sorry, Bad joke.

joscketSeper's avatar

thnaks all. Yes i understand love is more about feelings. So that’s the way it will be for me. And i accept it. But it’s not my fault i get erections with girls and that erections want to make me have sex.

Well, anyways, i’ll just concentrate on the love part and not the sex, although it’s hard.

I gave up on the urologists already, everytime i went they jdidn’t listen to me just because i’m not 50 and usually the patients that go there are 50 or up who have imptence or other more common problem. My problem is not common.

but thanks all

Dog's avatar

In a previous question you stated you have a problem communicating.
You need to understand that this is the key to every question you have asked.

Accepting what others push on you will make/ has made your life miserable.
I strongly recommend you take a speech class as this will help build confidence and then arm yourself with knowledge and take a stand..

Now to your questions:

Regarding this question- most doctors are completely overbooked and unless you are persistent you will not get results.

The pain you are experiencing is NOT acceptable and should be treatable. You need to demand results. You need to be clear, articulate and firm. You need to research and ask questions and not allow them to dismiss you.

I did a quick search for “pain on ejaculation” and found this as well as numerous other articles.

Next question: Moving out of your parents home. Again you need to be firm and articulate. You are not speaking up for yourself.
Show them you are an adult by not allowing them to keep you down. MOVE OUT. Do not seek permission. Just do it as soon as you can. Start seeking a room to rent or the like now and make firm plans and save. You can do anything you set your mind to so long as you do not let others dismiss your dreams.

Getting a girlfriend Believe me- once you begin to stand up for yourself you will see results. Women want a man who can stand up for them and take care of things. Once you can do that you will have a much easier time meeting women and will be confident enough to find a partner.
One word of caution though- you need to take care of this problem before you seriously embark on a relationship. As a woman I would be devastated if I could not fully please my man even if it was a medical problem on his end. I would feel bad for asking for pleasure knowing it could cause him pain. Intimate loving relationships can exist with your condition but why should it if you can remove the problem and be able to enjoy your partner fully?

I hope you take to heart what I am telling you and no longer let the world trod over you. You have a lot to offer and will find life also has a lot to offer you but in this world you must stand up and sometimes fight for it. Yes sometimes this can be uncomfortable, but I guarantee you that the results are well worth it.

You can do this..

JeanPaulSartre's avatar

@joscketSeper Once you’ve exhausted good urologists, consider the possibility that this is neurological. I’m not trying to be insulting, this is a very real possibility.

Violet's avatar

Have you tried prescription pain killers? Try taking one 30 minutes to an hour before masturbating or having sex.
Also, go to another urologist.

plethora's avatar

Try a Chinese doctor who does acupuncture. Not a caucasion. The Chinese have been doing this stuff for eons. It’s amazing what they can heal. Can’t say they can handle this, but I’d give it a try.

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