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Aethelwine's avatar

Bar & Grill table etiquette.....(please read details)

Asked by Aethelwine (42881points) March 14th, 2010

How long is too long to occupy a table at a Bar & Grill?

We went to a Bar & Grill yesterday to kill some time while our daughter was at a swimming/ birthday party at a hotel. The hotel was 20 miles from our house, so we thought that having an early dinner and a few drinks at the Bar & Grill next door was our best option to kill time.

It took an hour to order and eat. We still had 30 minutes until we had to get our daughter, so I nursed my beer while my husband had a couple more. A couple sitting in the bar area waiting for a table kept glaring at us. It was getting very annoying receiving such hateful looks. If we had more time to spend there I would have ordered more beers, just to spite this lady.

What is an appropriate time to sit at a Bar & Grill? if there is any

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36 Answers

janbb's avatar

Glaring is not appropriate, yet I have been known to do it.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Meh, you’re a paying customer, you can stay there as long as you want. It’s not always just about going in and eating quickly, sometimes it’s about enjoying each others company and getting out of the house, and enjoying a nice beer. I hope you glared back.

MrItty's avatar

If you’re no longer eating or drinking, I think it’s time to give the table to someone else if there’s someone waiting. Not only because that other person wants to eat, but also because your jipping your waitress out of additional tips she should be receiving for that next party.

EDIT: I misread the original. I thought you said you stayed at the table after finishing your food and beer. So long as you’re still drinking (and/or ordering more), you’re fine. You should have raised your glasses and toasted the glaring couple, just to piss them off.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Crime of the century!!How dare you eat and drink at your own pace! :)
The couple glaring at you were very rude.If you were just taking up space,then it’s time to move on.

tedibear's avatar

Just a random thought, could you have moved to the bar to finish your wait? If people are waiting and you’re done eating, it might have been somewhat more polite.

marinelife's avatar

I think you have the right to linger at your table and the ones waiting be hanged.

starshine's avatar

I work at a restaurant, and there is nothing worse than rude people! You sound like you werent there that long, and sitting there for a few minutes after you’re done eating is really not a big deal. But where I work, we have had people stay for three hours, just talking! It was horrible, and no one wanted to sit near them because they were so loud! You were well within your rights, but they were rude.
Everyone: treat people like you want to be treated. NO ONE likes snotty, rude people, and who wants to be dealt rudely with? Not me! Be nice. @jonsblond , that’s not directed at you, but just everyone. I hate rude people, they just make me sick.

filmfann's avatar

I always try to be considerate of others waiting for a table, but should there be a group of us, and we are still drinking, or nursing dessert, and talking, we will tip more, since the waitresses won’t be getting as much from other table service.

cookieman's avatar

The glaring seems rude to me.

I figure if your eating or drinking something and paying the bill – you can sit there.

Aethelwine's avatar

@tedibear39 I guess we could have. My husband was still drinking, and we were enjoying our time since we never get to go out. I can understand if this was just a restaurant, but it was a Bar & Grill. We’ve gone to them during football season and occupied the table for 3 hours. It seems more acceptable if a game is on.

Blondesjon's avatar

Fuck them. Next time they’ll leave the house a little earlier.

tinyfaery's avatar

For me 3 hours is a legitimate amount of time to sit at any restraunt. Drink, appetizers, main course, dessert and an after dinner drink or coffee. Add time in between for service, conversation and paying a meal can easily take that amount of time. However, you must be patronizing the establishment and not just utilizing space.

I’d say you were well within your right to be there. Fuck ‘em. That attitude wouldhave made me stay longer.

starshine's avatar

3 hours CAN be a reasonable amount of time, as you say, @tinyfaery , if you are patronizing the establishment. the people I am speaking of, were done eating and had paid, but continued to sit at the table for another hour and 45 minutes after paying. thats seemed kind of rediculous to me. A few minutes, acceptable, hour and 45 minutes, not acceptable, expecailly when no one else wants to sit in the same section as said people due to their volume.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Sounds like they have a problem with waiting. That’s not your problem. They could have come earlier, or gone some place else if they didn’t want to wait.

breedmitch's avatar

I would ask the server if he/she would like to have the table or are we fine staying where we are. It’s the considerate thing to all involved. Your sense that you were overstaying and your “fuck em. I’ll drink slower” attitude is not considerate. Neither is the glaring from those waiting.

Turning tables is a delicate situation. At my bar, I would have asked you if you had enjoyed your meal, and then informed you that there was another group who would also like to enjoy a meal, and if you wouldn’t mind moving to the bar, I’d be glad to buy you another round. Then you could drink it or not, and both the server and the bar could have the opportunity to make more money. When we make more money, we can keep prices lower.

Blondesjon's avatar

@breedmitch . . . Explain again how you keep prices lower by rushing your patrons through their meal and comping drinks. I used sell booze for a distributor and I know what kind of thin margin most bars and restaurants are running in regards to their alcohol sales. Of all the things you could be giving away for free, drinks have the biggest impact on your bottom line.

I have had to wait for a table plenty of times and never begrudged the folks I was waiting on. I should have left the house earlier.

Jeruba's avatar

I think the social expectation is different in different places. In most of the U.S., it seems that the establishment wants high turnover, and they will hustle you along a bit (“Would you care for anything else, sir?”) and present your check with extra emphasis. When I first went to France I was told that you are not just having a meal or a glass of wine, you are renting a table and are welcome to stay as long as you like. Much more civilized, in my opinion.

Zen_Again's avatar

About an hour and 15 tops.

breedmitch's avatar

I didn’t say I was rushing you through your meal. My actions come after you have finished eating and are just sitting there nursing final drinks. You of course have the right to refuse. It seems to me pretty clear that you knew you were overstaying. Jeruba has it right. The attitude in the US is very different than most of the rest of the world.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

It’s bad etiquette for someone to give the evil eye to you in an effort to get you to leave.
Screw those jerks.

At the same time, I think there’s an expectation of not loitering around. If you’re going to be there longer than an hour, Id just head to the bar instead.
Still rude of those people.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

By the very nature of being a bar and grille, it’s a hang out and talk establishment, especially if there’s a television.

Aethelwine's avatar

@breedmitch The only reason why I felt we were overstaying is because of this woman. I’ve never felt pressure to leave a Bar & Grill before this.

Blondesjon's avatar

@breedmitch . . . My actions come after you have finished eating and are just sitting there nursing final drinks.

You, sir, have never seen me drink. I have never, nor will I ever nurse a drink.

loser's avatar

There is no time limit! Those people just have issues.

Cruiser's avatar

Not long ago before the great recession people use to buy what they call rounds at bars. Buying a beer for a stranger was neighborly and down right friendly. Pretty darn rude of you to not buy them a beer!! WTF has happened to people be cordial and friendly. You could of just bought her a shot and a beer!

breedmitch's avatar

As to profit margins, portion cost for two beers is about 2.30. If I can seat that table again I have the opportunity to have a $60–70 check.
I’m not trying to call you out, but you make it pretty clear in your details that you were lingering too long. Yes the next group was being rude by staring. But it seems you wanted to make it a battle of will. I’m concerned that the management didn’t get involved, which means either they didn’t care, and your actions were fine, or they aren’t good management.

Jon, would you have turned down a free round? You could have had yours and your wife’s as well. ;)

breedmitch's avatar

I’ve re- read your details. I was under the assumption that both you and your husband were nursing and just killing time.

thriftymaid's avatar

Stay as long as you want—it’s a bar.

Aethelwine's avatar

@breedmitch Nursing is a foreign word to my husband. ;)

asmonet's avatar

Fuck ‘em.

You waited your turn, they sure as shit will be waiting theirs.

I’ve been known to smile and wave at people like that.

janbb's avatar

@jonsblond Picturing @Blondesjon nursing – ha! ha!

chyna's avatar

There had to be other tables that could have been opening up, was she glaring at all of them? She was rude. Since @Blondesjon was still drinking, you weren’t hogging the table.

tedibear's avatar

@jonsblond – I just re-read this. And hour and 30 minutes is by no means unreasonable. I retract my “go to the bar” thought. :-)

Aethelwine's avatar

@chyna There were 2 tables behind us that sat empty the entire time we were there. Her companion pointed to them once, but she was definitely giving us the evil eye too. They even watched Jon as he got up to use the bathroom before we left. Our waitress ran straight to our table as soon as we got up. Maybe the other tables were assigned to a different waitress, and this particular waitress was a favorite of theirs? Who knows. I think this lady’s ponytail was just too tight. :P

casheroo's avatar

@tinyfaery Dear lord, you’re the bane of most services existence. lol. I think it’s rude and inconsiderate to spend that much time at a table. Unless you are tipping extremely well and having a three hundred dollar check, to make up for not having two more deuces there…it just better be worth it.

@jonsblond You were fine. Your husband was still drinking, still adding to the bill and tip for the waitress. I would have been extremely annoyed if someone was giving me looks like that.

Just_Justine's avatar

I would have just glared back. Had they not anything better to do? Don’t drink and drive though.

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