Social Question

starshine's avatar

Why DO people find it acceptable to be rude?

Asked by starshine (576points) March 14th, 2010

I, personally, have never understood the appeal of being rude to others. Short responses, glares, snippitiness, etc… Just unacceptable.
Why do people feel they can act this way?
Have you ever been treated really rudely? Why/What happened?
Have you ever treated someone rudely? Why?
If you treat people rudely, why do you? Is it like a power trip or something?

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45 Answers

filmfann's avatar

Well, excuse the fuck out of me!

dpworkin's avatar

I have been quite rude rather recently on Fluther. It is because I have a very low tolerance for aggressive stupidity.

Response moderated
Aethelwine's avatar

I think they feel that they are better somehow, maybe more important? I have a sister like this. She is rude to wait staff, housekeeping, anyone working in service.

dpworkin's avatar

Oh, that’s not nice. I am only rude to my betters.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Probably just their personality.

filmfann's avatar

@Zen_Again The expression is “Fuck you, and anyone that looks like you.”
Not a good idea today!

Zen_Again's avatar

@filmfann LOL – fuck you and your ugly avatar.

nebule's avatar

they have some issues…like the rest of us… they just don’t know it yet…they will though

janbb's avatar

Too fucking funny! Sorry – was that rude?

phillis's avatar

I see just what you mean! These people all suck. What a revelation! Fuck you very much! I am in your debt.

Cruiser's avatar

Wasn’t my fault…they started it!! I mean if someone is going to go out of their way to look like and mimic me…they will be lucky I don’t KTA!

starshine's avatar

I wasn’t really refering to fluther, just the masses in general.

dpworkin's avatar

The masses? What year is this? 1936?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It’s because others allow them to get away with it.

phillis's avatar

@starshine I can’t resist humor. Heaven knows, I’ve laughed at myself enough times. It’s time to share the wealth, baby! But if I had to be serious, nothing I could say can top Lynnblundell’s answer. So she sucks the worst.

starshine's avatar

@phillis , oh I know just what you mean. I laugh at myself so often sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me.

thriftymaid's avatar

I don’t generally think being rude is OK. Sometimes, though, blunt honesty comes across as rude. Also, responses to stupidity can seem rude, but this is one time a pass may be in order.

janbb's avatar

@filmfann Mwah! Too, too funny!

phillis's avatar

@thriftymaid I am so glad you mentioned that! Everything honest doesn’t have to be brute honesty. It’s using others for mental maturbation without their consent. Totally agree.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Sure, I’ve been rude, usually when someone has been rude to me first, though. I’m one of those people where otherwise it is unimaginable to be rude first. One has no idea what’s going on in someone’s life where they just snap and you just happen to be the handy target, so most times, I take that into account. I am not perfect, though, and I have on occasion been that person who’s snapped.

I’ve had people treat me rudely due to my colour, which never feels nice, and I’ve had men treat me rudely because they assumed that my female-ness precluded my being intelligent. I’ve had men treat me rudely when I’ve turned down their advances or when I didn’t respond to catcalls. I’ve had teens treat me rudely on public transport because they’re kids and they’re testing their swagger.

I treated my aunt “rudely” when she went too far in her assumptions of my obligations to her. I treated a couple of ex-bf’s parents “rudely”, when they’ve said things to me that were out of line. I’ve been “rude” to co-workers and bosses who thought it was OK to treat me like a slave/peon. Anyone who knows me knows that I am good as gold and sweet until you try to tread over my rights. At some point, there’s a difference between being rude and standing up for oneself. If standing up of one’s rights is “rude”, then the hell with you, is all I can say.

Blondesjon's avatar

One man’s rude is another man’s sassy.

Scooby's avatar

It’s just human nature in all it’s raw glory, sometimes you just have to make allowances for the inept people of this world, they learn the hard way mostly but they do learn,,,,, eventually! :-/
well, at least I hope they do…....

Trillian's avatar

Rude can be simply a matter of perception. I give short shrift to what I consider stupidity. I also go out of my way to be courteous to strangers in the store and on the road. What I consider rude are the people I see on reality tv. I don’t actually watch it, you understand, I watch The Soup. I see enough bad behaviour that really transcends rudeness to amaze me all the time. But like a train wreck, I can’t look away. I think that it is more accepted in our society today. I don’t know why.
I like to say things like; “Are you this rude to everybody or am I special in some way?” and “No, actually I don’t ever expect common courtesy from someone like yourself.” Sometimes that helps people who are unintentionally rude, and when I have it pointed out to me, if I wasn’t aware of how I was coming across, I have apologized. You just never know if it’s intentional or not.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

They can’t communicate in an intelligent fashion.

Milk's avatar

I’m usually rude as a reflex. When someone’s rude to me I tend to be rude right back at them.

Glow's avatar

Along with what some other serious answers people have given, I think it also has to do with their upbringing. If children have parents or older siblings who are rude, they will develop some of these tendencies in themselves and grow up with it. Especially if they are not taught, while still young, why not behave that way.

Now, we have to think about how the rudeness began in the first place huh? Because, what about people who grew up in homes where rudeness was not tolerated? Where did they learn to be that way?

As with anything, there is no one absolute answer. But really, instead of pounding our minds thinking about why people are this way, we should instead do our best not to be like them. Because in reality, there is very little chance many of them will change :/

I’ll admit though… if some ones bites me, I usually bite back… harder, so to speak. Just like @Milk said.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

@Milk Your avatar is too cute for me to picture you being rude.

Milk's avatar

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities Thank you, and not many people are rude towards me.

filmfann's avatar

@Milk Welcome to Fluther, and that might change.

Milk's avatar

@filmfann Thanks, ha why would it change?

janbb's avatar

We give as good – or better – than we get here sometimes.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Somewhere along the way (I suspect my parents’ generation but they would argue earlier ones) it became uncool to be socially polite, show basic manners and courtesy, like that stuff is now just for suckers or the socially un progressive. Arrogance is the new confidence.

ratboy's avatar

Hey, rude people—you suck! Why don’t you eat shit and die.

Trillian's avatar

Because we prefer to eat ice cream and live. Next question?

Just_Justine's avatar

I can be horrendously rude and I am ashamed of it. I am mostly rude to those “on a level playing field”. Meaning I would never be rude to waiters. However, my rudeness is never unprovoked, well in my mind anyway. Although lately at work I have been just randomly rude. There is just something about my old age, and thinking that I have to be shoved into a team of ass holes. I work in a very back biting, throat slitting environment, so lately I have been slitting throats before they slit mine. It’s like a new tactic. But it has to stop. I also blame my bipolar at these times, which is a cop out I know.

YARNLADY's avatar

Because they get away with it with zero consequences.

janbb's avatar

@YARNLADY Oh, that’s not true; I take them to task.

MrsDufresne's avatar

I’ve always equated rudeness with pain in some way. When someone is rude to me, just because they can be, I know that when they open their eyes to life each morning, it most likely, is not a joyous experience. Rudeness is a side effect of pain.

escapedone7's avatar

One thing my therapist said to me that has really opened my eyes, is this statement that blew my perceptions about things like this apart.

“How someone is treating you says much more about how they feel about themselves, than how they feel about you.”

YARNLADY's avatar

@janbb I was thinking of on the internet – in real life there are probably consequences.

Just_Justine's avatar

@escapedone7 wow powerful stuff.

janbb's avatar

@YARNLADY I was thinking of the internet too. :-)

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