General Question

LuvBubble's avatar

How do I ask an annoying co-worker, to stop being annoying, without fear of losing my job, or sounding like a douche?

Asked by LuvBubble (140points) March 15th, 2010

There’s a person at my job that bothers the living piss out of me. I’m curious to see what amazing suggestions I can get from the fluther community. Please, help a brother out :)

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34 Answers

dpworkin's avatar

What is this person doing that is so objectionable?

jfos's avatar

How does the person bother you? What is your relationship with him/her? Are you of the same “caste” (rank)? Be more specific.

holden's avatar

With as many, commas as possible.

JeffVader's avatar

Stupid Answer: Carry out a fake mafia style execution on him. Bundle him into the boot of your car, which you’d already lined with bin bags. Drive around for ages then drag him out & shoot him in the face with a water pistol, telling him if he mentions this or continues to be a prick at work then next time it’ll be a real gun.
Sensible Answer: Tell your boss that the idiot is impacting on your work in a negative fashion, making it hard to impossible to carry out your job effectively, & that your boss need to discuss his behaviour with him.

AshlynM's avatar

Maybe casually ask your boss to go over proper office behavior with everyone at the next mandatory meeting in your area.

That way no one is directly telling this co worker they’re annoying but instead the boss is directing his statements at everyone.

Also, if you sit close to them, perhaps you can request to have your desk moved or just move to an empty cubicle far away from them.

Cruiser's avatar

Ignore them. I know that sounds impossible but either that or you will sound immature if you bring this up to a superior. You are getting paid to do your job and that includes dealing with the BS that comes with the position you were hired for.

JeffVader's avatar

@Cruiser I dunno…. I’ve never signed a work contract that says I have to put-up with unlimited bollocks from colleagues who can’t keep their mouths shut. However, most have had a line in them advising that each person has a responsibility to do their work to the best of their abilities while not impeding others in their jobs.

jfos's avatar

Think about how bad it would be if there were 2 annoying co-workers.

Disaster_Porn's avatar

Go up and tell em hey you…stop being you while your working. Thank you.

janbb's avatar

You need to tell us what they are doing and what their rank is relative to you in order to get any useful suggestions.

Cruiser's avatar

@Cloverfield That is my whole point. Unless you are the shining super star in the company, almost no one has that much pull to be able to do much of anything about their co-workers annoying existence. Plus it could very well be what is annoying to @LuvBubble is endearing to the boss.

JeffVader's avatar

@Cruiser Hahahahahaha…. I love your description “their co-workers annoying existence” :)

Snarp's avatar

Depending on just what the annoying behavior is, I’m pretty much with @Cruiser on this one (shocking, I know). Sometimes you just have to suck it up. Otherwise, you can use your judgment to determine whether some change in the way you deal with the individual in question can resolve the problem.

I use to work with a guy who was pretty much the king of sexual harassment. He gave everybody a hard time, both male and female, and pretty much every thing that came out of his mouth was sexual. He was also a body builder. One day he was going on and on about my girlfriend and I stopped what I was doing and said, “you’re a big guy, but you’ll go down just as hard if you get hit in the right place. If you want really want to test just how tough you are, if you’re that sure, then just keep talking like that.” I said a bit more than that too, with a lot of swear words and yelling. Anyway, he never said a word to me about my girlfriend again, we got along a lot better, and he even told other people to stop when they started up on my girlfriend. Guy probably would have killed me in a fight, but some people really want you to stand up to them, they just need to know you’ve got some backbone, then they’ll back off. The point is that it was the right thing to do in that situation, and you probably don’t want to do anything like that, but you may find there’s something that will work under your circumstances.

I’m very rambling this morning.

thriftymaid's avatar

There will always be one of those. Grow up and deal.

john65pennington's avatar

We actually need more information, like whats involved. on the surface, tell your employer of the situation. its the employers responsibility to handle this type of situation.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Tell them through the magic of song…in Julie Andrew’s voice,so you don’t get your ass beat! lol! :)

Coloma's avatar

I’m big on addressing a situation with diplomacy of course, otherwise one is being untrue to themselves. IF you can ignore a situation WITHOUT harboring animosity or resentment fine. Otherwise setting a boundary or asking someone to refrain from obnoxious behavior is the only sane way to go.

But don’t allow yourself to repress negative feelings indefinetly, not good.

If something or someone becomes intolerable YOU are the captain of your own ship!

Speak up, change the situation, or leave!

The only viable actions of a healthy and mature person.

I disagree about it being the employers responsibility, you’re a big boy/girl are you not? Take charge first and let this person know that you prefer to solve the situation without involving management. Give them the opportunity to decide how they wish to respond before complaining to the boss.

jealoustome's avatar

I generally tell people when what they are doing is extremely annoying to me if it is something that occurs everyday. I’ll sometimes try to make a joke to bring it to their attention, but it’s obvious that I’m trying to let them know what’s bothering me. I’d rather be seen as a blunt bitch for a few minutes than a grumpy, silent, resentful person all of the time. The other day my business partner was eating yogurt and smacking his lips very loud several times on each bite. I listen to his loud eating all of the time, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told him it sounded like he had a vagina in his mouth and could he keep it down or turn up the tv. Crude, but effective.

partyparty's avatar

There will always be at least one annoying person in a workplace.
Instead of becoming annnoyed and letting it stress you, why don’t you try to laugh at them, make them feel stupid.
Does this person annoy the rest of the work group, or are you their target?

stratman37's avatar

Uh, they said I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from
nine to eleven while I’m collating….

But, no, no, no. I know you’re allowed to, I was just thinking, like a
personal favor, y’know?

I, I told Bill that if Sandra’s going to listen to her headphones while
she’ working, I can listen to the radio while I’m collating -


plethora's avatar

@Snarp Love the story…:)
@Coloma Yes, one cannot harbor negative feelings. Should be dealt with directly.
@thriftymaid There are some things you deal with by confronting.

It would be good to know the details. We are in the dark at this point.

Snarp's avatar

@partyparty Yes, there is always t least one annoying person in a workplace. The good news is that if you know who it is, then it’s not you. So take heart, being annoyed means that you’re not the annoying one!

CMaz's avatar

Grow up and get over it.

Unless you are the boss. Then you can be a Douche and stop them from doing it.

partyparty's avatar

@Snarp Love your comment LOLL !!

nebule's avatar

ask them for some advice on how to be more tolerant with annoying co-workers

davidbetterman's avatar

Avoid the Noid and live with it. There are more annoying people driving in the car behind you going to work.

Scooby's avatar

Look em in the eye & tell the arse to grow up! :-/ tell em to find another victim or become one! Worked for me when I first started at my previous job, oh a few years ago, you should let your immediate boss know what’s going on before you remedy the situation, just in case there’s any fall out! Good luck…..

Silhouette's avatar

Part of being a good employee is to learn to keep your focus on your job and let the others do what they do. Stay focused.

drClaw's avatar

Just be a douche! I’m usually the annoying co-worker in my office and people don’t seem to have a problem telling me to STFU, just like I don’t have a problem busting out sweet drum solos on my desk and making animal noises when it gets too quite up in here.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

@drClaw That must be an… interesting workplace. :-)

drClaw's avatar

@Dr_Dredd we keep it lively, the best is when a rousing game of human shuffle board gets started.

Pucks = Coworkers in office chairs.

YARNLADY's avatar

It cannot be done in one single ‘telling’. With each time the person does what ever it is that is bothering you, say “Sorry, you are interrupting my train of thought. Please save it till later”. You have to say this each and every time it occurs.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

@drClaw Awesome. :-)

LuvBubble's avatar

My workplace is Awesome!!!!!!!! I work for a WebHosting company. Either way, This person takes every opportunity to be all up in your biz, and whenever you laugh at something on your workstation, this person has to come over and check it out. Its rather annoying…...

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