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ucme's avatar

Who's the main cook in your house or is it something you do together?

Asked by ucme (50047points) March 15th, 2010

Without wishing to cause domestic hostilities here,who is the best cook in your home? Is it done primarily by yourself, your S/O or do you alternate? What’s your speciality? Prepares himself for a stream of meatloaf references ;¬}

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163 Answers

Trillian's avatar

Main cook, schmain cook. I’m the only one. I do lots of experimental cooking and some great Italian due to having spent some time there. I also have some very nice Filipino recipes. Really, I do everything but french and seafood.

sleepdoc's avatar

It is me .. but I don’t mind that at all

DominicX's avatar

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend couldn’t cook to save his life. So if we were living together, it would be me. Which is fine, I love to cook. Growing up, my parents pretty much shared the title of “main cook” equally.

CMaz's avatar

I am a great cook. But, if I don’t have to. That is a good thing. ;-)

Likeradar's avatar

I’m not the best cook in my house, I’m the only cook. I like experimenting with different ways of preparing fish.
The boy says he cooks, he just “outsources” the cooking… to restaurants.

Facade's avatar

My man and I cook together. He’s better than me. I chalk it up to age lol

marinelife's avatar

I am the best cook, but my husband is a fine cook. We really enjoy cooking together.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My husband is the main cook, without a question. He feeds the family.

galileogirl's avatar

There is no main cook. I am the main meal warmer

njnyjobs's avatar

Cooking was a long time career of mine but remains a passion… so it’s me +/- 90% of the time.

wundayatta's avatar

My wife can barely scramble an egg. I cook all meals. We order out or go out maybe once a week.

People say that I’m a good cook. I try all kinds of new things. I grind my own spices occasionally. I make my own tomato sauce and freeze roasted poblanos and corn for use the rest of the year. I just made an absolutely amazing cheese cake—the first one I have ever made in my life. I looked online for the recipes. I can taste things on paper.

Food is one of the reasons I live. I love the tastes of things. I cook Thai, Chinese, Mexican, Italian, French, Indian, and I’ll happily learn new styles. I will cook for hours upon end, if necessary. I have been known to throw a knife or two—on occasion.

Jude's avatar

When I’m spending the weekend with her, we cook together. Food prep can be rather romantic (little kisses on her neck when she’s rinsing off the cilantro). =)

CyanoticWasp's avatar

It’s either me, the dorg, or Chef-Boy-ar-dee or Mrs. Paul, etc.

Silhouette's avatar

He makes a mean breakfast I do the rest.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It’s not me….meatloaf-skeetloaf.Yes,I said it and I’ll shoot one at every opportunity :)
My specialty is oatmeal.Yes,oatmeal :)

ubersiren's avatar

I’m usually the main cook, except when we want mac & cheese, which is my husband’s specialty. He’s has made a terrific substitute cook lately, though!

Val123's avatar

My husband, by choice. He’s a pretty good cook, except, without fail, every single meal has meat as the main course. I prefer more potato, pasta and veggie main courses.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Silhouette if you’ve been eating mean breakfasts then may I suggest a kinder, gentler repast? A mean breakfast doesn’t suit your nature.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I’m main cook. Wife hates to cook. Oldest of five kids, learned how to cook at 7 years old. Started with simple stuff, 5 or less ingredients. Now there are just the two of us at home.

sleepdoc's avatar

@ubersiren sometimes we discover we have more abilities than we knew when we are pushed.

janbb's avatar

We’re pretty evenly divided. There are certain meals I tend to make and certain ones that are his so what we are having determines who cooks. We will occasionally cook together but that can get into food fights; I turn the burner down, he turns it up. He does rely on my sense of seasoning. And when we are cooking a big meal like Christmas dinner, we do it together.

partyparty's avatar

I do all the cooking in the household. I adore cooking and actually find it very relaxing.
I suppose my specialities are quiches, chocolate gateaux / fudge cakes, Dutch apple flan.

I host parties very frequently as I love to try out new foods on my guests.

I like to think I am good at what I cook… never had a complaint yet.

casheroo's avatar

my husband. he was a chef for 8 years, and is extremely good at it. i’m terrible in the kitchen. i can make some things, but nothing like him. he doesn’t mind it. he enjoys cooking for the fun of it.

jonsblond's avatar

My husband is the better cook, though I do most of the cooking. Sometimes he takes over on the weekends, and he does the majority of the cooking for the holidays. I’m a better baker though. ;)

Val123's avatar

It’s funny….Rick goes thorough all kinds of prep when he cooks and spends at least an hour on each meal He prides himself on his culinary expertise, but he could NOT handle a horde of 13 and 14 year olds descending on the house at the last screaming minute. My grandson (14) came to stay the night with me unexpectedly, and within 10 minutes I baby pizza’s, mac and cheese, two oranges and…something else ready when he walked in the door. No way could Rick have even figured out what to fix, much less have it ready to go in no time.
There have been times I’ve had up to 5 kids to feed breakfast to, and I can whip out pancakes like an automated factory and toss them on plates without a break until everyone says they’re done. Rick can’t do the feeding of the hordes thing. He moves toooooooo slow.

tinyfaery's avatar

I am not allowed in the kitchen. It’s best for everyone and everything involved. My wife is a great cook, but she is so busy she rarely does. Thank gawd for take-out.

galileogirl's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille when I did cook I used oatmeal in the meatloaf

ubersiren's avatar

@casheroo I didn’t know that- awesome!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@galileogirl I like oatmeatloaf.

Silhouette's avatar

@CyanoticWasp What would you suggest? Would something sugar coated suit me? Bangers and eggs maybe? I know, wry toast.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Considering that I live alone, I’d starve if it wasn’t me.
My specialty: Mexican food & Mac n’ Cheese, but not together.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Silhouette c’mon over for breakfast tomorrow and we’ll find out, okay?

tedibear's avatar

I’m the main cook simply because I get home first and am more efficient in the kitchen. I am faster and use far fewer pans, knives, etc. There’s no way that we could cook together. We’ve tried once or twice and it’s all I can do to not ask, “What are you doing and why are you doing it that way?” My goal is a good meal in few steps or processes. His goal is just a good meal.

To give credit where it’s due, when the meal is made, we come out equal in terms of flavor and enjoyment.

Silhouette's avatar

@CyanoticWasp Sounds like a plan, see you tomorrow.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Silhouette, breakfast is pretty early at my house. You may want to stay the night to save having to get up so much earlier to travel.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

I’m the main cook.

The dog can’t cook for crap.

Silhouette's avatar

@CyanoticWasp I’ll leave now and beat the traffic.

aprilsimnel's avatar

One roommate doesn’t cook, he gets takeout/delivery.
One roommate cooks for herself.
I cook for myself.

Val123's avatar

When I had room mates in college I got frustrated because we’d go shopping together and split the bill equally….but they ate twice as much as I did!

J0E's avatar

I still live at home. My Dad makes dinner every night, I make myself breakfast and lunch if I’m home. I like to make food so it isn’t a big deal.

Seek's avatar

I do the cooking, as my husband’s idea of culinary innovation is cracking a raw egg into a bowl of Ramen. He actually brags about that idea.

I love to cook, and plenty of people have eaten my cooking and gone on to live perfectly normal lives. ^_^

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr… so he was the one who invented that? I’ve often wondered.

davidbetterman's avatar

Me, but then I worked for years as a professional cook.

tranquilsea's avatar

I was the main cook here until my hubby took and interest some 2 years ago. He’s actually getting pretty good at. Now he spells me off when I am exhausted or I have completely run out of ideas.

Berserker's avatar

I live on my own, so I just reheat stuff or order take out.
When I was in a relationship though, my boyfriend was a way better cook than me.

Cruiser's avatar

I am a very good cook and unless I want sauceless noodles every night I will whip up something tasty in a flash!

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

In the “good old days” before life fell apart, we all cooked together. Meghan was magic with veggies, Genevive did the meat courses and I was the designated baker. We had to have a large kitchen, two ovens and redundant cutlery to avoid getting in each others way. We’d plan the menus together, then each do our separate things so everything timed out about right. It actually worked out quite well

susanc's avatar

@wundayatta : lurve for “I can taste things on paper”. Nice.

YARNLADY's avatar

I love cooking, and I do it most of the time. I try to fix several meals at once, and then package them so anyone can re-heat them. When I don’t feel up to cooking, Hubby will re-heat some of my already prepared meals.

He is always ready to help me with the slicing and such, when my hands are too weak to hold the knife.

SamIAm's avatar

we’ve been cooking together… if there’s meat involved, that’s his thing… if it’s a meatless dish, he offers to help and if i don’t need any help, he hangs out in the kitchen with me, often rubbing my back or kissing me sweetly while i cut veggies, or do the dishes. he’s a wonderful help!

partyparty's avatar

@casheroo Oh how fortunate you are to have a husband who is a chef. I am green with envy LOLL

partyparty's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr My husband has cooked me two meals in three years!! Do you find cooking therapeutic? I am like you… love cooking.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I love cooking and I’m rather good at it. Right now my work requirements don’t leave me time to do it. It bothers me to get food at a supposedly good restaurant that I could have prepared better myself.

Sophief's avatar

I love to cook. If I am alone I won’t bother making anything. But I love to cook for my partner. I hate anyone being in the kitchen with me. He makes pancakes though. I do believe that men are better cooks than women though.

Seek's avatar

@Dibley

Is it your goal in life to return the world to the 1700s?

tinyfaery's avatar

And take us all with you?

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Because I cook? Should I order takeaways ever night?

Likeradar's avatar

@Dibley I think it’s because of the very enlightened~ statement of “I do believe that men are better cooks than women though..” At least that’s the reason I rolled my eyes when I read your answer.

Sophief's avatar

@Likeradar Well, I think they are. My dad is a great cook, much better than me. Most top chefs are men. I could understand if I said, I think I am the best cook in the world!

Likeradar's avatar

@Dibley I think it’s great that you know excellent male chefs like your dad. See how dumb I would sound if I said “Men are worse cooks than women. My boyfriend could burn water, my dad can’t cook, and my 3 favorite restaurants have females as the lead chefs.”

Do I really have to explain that generalizations about huge portions of the population are lame?

Sophief's avatar

@Likeradar Wow, I’m really not allowed opinions here am I. I thought England was a shit country, but I’m getting to like it more and more.

JeffVader's avatar

@Likeradar Although, can you prove this is a generalisation. Do you have any statistics about the number of male chefs in comparison to female. & do you have any figures comparing top male to top female chefs…? If not, then it could very well be true. Personally I have to say that it SEEMS as if most of the top chefs are male, & it SEEMS that there are more male chefs than female. Obviously I can only speak from my personal observations, but there it is. Now are you expressing your personal opinion based on your observations, or do you have anything to back up your statement?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Dibley you consistently fail to understand why I find your answers to be “silly”. This is a prime example.

Would you believe that “men are better at politics” because most politicians and world leaders are men? That “men are better at leading companies” for the same reason? That “men are better college professors, engineers, scientists, doctors, etc.” for the same reason?

I’m a man—an old man from the dark ages before “feminism” was even a word—and not even I believe that shit any more.

tinyfaery's avatar

I don’t even know why I started. It’s a hopeless and pathetic endeavor. Good luck, all.

Sophief's avatar

@CyanoticWasp For gods sake. It is my opinion. What I believe. I am not saying it is fact. Just my fucking opinion. Why can’t no one see that?!

Likeradar's avatar

@Dibley You can have all the opinions you want. I think it’s quite strange that you think my alternate opinion is somehow negating your ability to have one.

very GA, @cw.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Dibley of course we see that it’s your opinion, and you’re completely entitled to it. It’s just silly, that’s all. Can’t you see that?

Sophief's avatar

What should I say? Me and my boyfriend piss together? I simply said, I am the one that cooks the most. Answering the question as same as everyone else.

Sophief's avatar

@CyanoticWasp Because it’s silly to you?

JeffVader's avatar

I’m both the main & best cook in my house…. I love cooking & thanks to my dad, I’m ace at it. My mum on the other hand was a terrible, terrible cook!

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield My mum thinks she is a great cook, but she really isn’t. My Grandma though was an amazing cook, I wish I could cook like her. From what you have said, I bet you do nices dishes.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Ah, thanks for that. I do have a couple of signature dishes that are ace, but I’d be happy giving most things a go, so long as I know how it’s supposed to taste. My mum used to insist she was a good cook too…. because she got her City & Guilds certificate back in, I dunno, 1960 or something, but good god, if anyone can cook the flavour out of food it’s my mum!

shego's avatar

I am the main cook in my house. Though my dad can cook, he leaves the job for me. He keeps telling that I should open a resturaunt. But the best meal that I cook is cottage pie. But I also make homemade pizza, calzones, and my personal favorite is homemade lasanga, with my homemade noodles. I love to cook but I also love my dads cooking, and wish he cooked more.

JeffVader's avatar

@shego You must come over mine…. I love cottage pie but almost never make it as I find mash a chore :)

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield My boyfriend was watching masterchef and he bought a potato ricer, we haven’t used it yet. WE’LL be using it tonight. I think he just wanted a new gadget!

shego's avatar

@Cloverfield I would love to. But I make it once a month because it is a chore to do.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Us men do like our gadgets :)

Val123's avatar

@Cloverfield I know! What is up with that???

Sophief's avatar

@Cloverfield He can put the potatoes through. Is that the right or wrong thing to say?

JeffVader's avatar

@shego Hmmmmmmm….. just give me the heads-up when cottage pie’s on the horizon then & I’ll be there! Hehe

JeffVader's avatar

@Val123 I wish I could give you a sensible answer….. but it’s like a compulsion, we see a new… thing, & we just need to own it!

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Pretty sure it’s right!

Val123's avatar

@Cloverfield It’s just….strange! My husband is like that. He wants this toy and that toy, and I’m going, “What a waste of money!” I just wonder why it seems to be such a male thing…..

Sophief's avatar

@Val123 Women can like gadgets too, that is being sexist ;-)

Val123's avatar

@Dibley Yes, that’s true. But generally speaking, it seems to be more of a man-thing to want new and different stuff all the time.

JeffVader's avatar

@Val123 @Dibley I suspect our inner child is nearer the surface, like a kid being dragged round the supermarket forever sneaking things into the trolley….. ah, happy days :)

Sophief's avatar

@Val123 I was joking, nothing mean in it all. It is a man thing. They are like children, they want all these new toys, until the novalty wears off.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

What’s wrong with cooking not being gender-based? Whoever is the better cook or has the time does the cooking, alternate as necessary.

Seek's avatar

@Dibley

The reason for my comment hearks back to many answers and questions of yours that I’ve seen recently.

Yard work is for men because it’s muddy and hard.
Men are better cooks.
Cleaning the house is woman’s work
Oh, gee whittackers I’m so glad my man can squish the scary spiders
Modern women sit around and make their men do their job

These sort of “opinions” became obsolete a long time ago. The men even let us vote now, if you can believe it!

Val123's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I even let my husband vote this last time around! (Actually, I made him register for the first time in his life!)
Who said all of that crazy stuff you listed, anyway?

Val123's avatar

Wow! Well, I guess that means I shouldn’t be raking the yard and washing the cars, huh. (I’ve tried sitting around and letting Rick do all my work but….absolutely nothing gets done!)

Seek's avatar

He lets you touch the car!?!?!

You crazed liberals, you!

Val123's avatar

I know! The neighbors won’t stop talking about how shameful we are! We are a disgrace to the neighborhood. They’re trying to force us to move.

Response moderated
Val123's avatar

@Dibley What? Why do you say that? She’s cool…...

tinyfaery's avatar

The truth hurts.

Val123's avatar

@tinyfaery Who are you talking to??

janbb's avatar

Sticks head up out of book. Oh man! Goes back to reading.

Val123's avatar

Whad I do??

Seek's avatar

Of course, @Dibley

I’m crazy, because I don’t live in a world in which my sole purpose in life is to cook and clean, and always know that I’ll never do so well at it as a man.

tinyfaery's avatar

@Val123 I was answering your question to @Dibley.

wundayatta's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr What? I’m so confused. In my manual, on page 83, paragraph 5, it distinctly says that a woman’s sole purpose is to cook and clean and have sex with a man. It’s right there in black and white. And as far as I can tell, we live in the same world. Want me to send you my manual? :)~

Seek's avatar

We must have the same manual. Does the footnote on page 83 also state that all the world’s greatest cooks are men, and that a woman’s place is in the kitchen only when the man’s superior talents are focused elsewhere? ~

Dr_Dredd's avatar

@shego Is cottage pie the same thing as shepherd’s pie?

janbb's avatar

Strictly speaking, cottage pie is made with ground beef and shepherd’s pie is made with ground lamb, but the two are conflated at times.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

@janbb I never knew that! Both sound yummy.

shego's avatar

@Dr Dredd yes but instead of being made with lamb, it’s made with beef.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I never once said it is my sole purpose in life, just that I do it. If you like to live in a slum and eat crap then that is up to you. Thanks for following my questions by the way, it has made me feel special that I have such a big impact on you!

Seek's avatar

@Dibley

The only reason I’m even bothering with you is that I used to think in the same warped, convoluted, Dark-Ages way as you do, and I know the condition is curable.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr So, what you are saying is I should hire a cleaner. Ok, what do I do about food? Personally I don’t see what is wrong with cooking and cleaning, I thought it was part of life.

Sophief's avatar

@Val123 The problem is that you were being friendly towards me. Don’t you know I am in the hate club. Best stay clear of me, because unfortunately they’ll get you too, as you can see.

Seek's avatar

No. What I’m saying is that your mindset of “Men are better at XYZ, fo no other reason than these are my traditional values” is disgusting.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Men are better are certain things and women are better at certain things. Or should I just say women are amazing, which works best for you?

Seek's avatar

I will agree that certain tasks are easier for men or women to perform based on a general idea of body structure – for example, men typically have a greater upper-body strength, and thus are more suited to lifting heavy things.

There is no reason for anyone to say “men are better cooks than women”, or “it’s men’s work to do the muddy, hard yardwork”, or “women are supposed to do all the housework, even if they work full time.”

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Dibley I really don’t want to be mean; I don’t want to pile on, and I don’t want you to feel that you’re being picked on. But you have some old-fashioned, chauvinistic and frankly misogynistic opinions, and that’s what you’re being called on. Repeatedly. You seem to take it personally, and feel that no one likes you because some of us really do hate your ideas. I’m sure that you’re a lovely young woman.

If you’ve read this far… the thing we’re taking issue with is your collection of ideas that women are in some ways somehow “less” than men. That is, that they can’t get dirty, lift heavy loads, kill (or face) spiders or cook “as well as men”. Feel free to add anything else to the list that you think women can’t do as well as men, but I’ve gotten these right, haven’t I? (They’re your words, from this thread and others.)

The reason those are bad ideas (maybe wrong, but certainly unsupported generalizations) is that women have been fighting very hard in western societies to prove just the opposite: they are just as tough, strong, smart and capable as men in nearly any endeavor. (Maybe not some athletic ones—yet—but they’re catching up there, too.) I would never say (as you have just now said) that “men are better at [any of the things you’ve mentioned so far]”, and for you to say it is a real slap in the face to other women who know that it just ain’t so!

If you want to make assertions that “men are better” in some areas, then you’d better be prepared to back that up with more than “because I know it”, or “because I know some who are” or “because more of them do [whatever]”. Those are simply anecdotal evidence and do not constitute proof.

Make a case for male superiority if you want, but don’t just blandly throw it out that “I know this is true” or you’ll face this here forever.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Part of the reason I go on about this is… I have a daughter whom I love very much (a son, too, and I love him equally). But my point is that she’ll end up exceeding me in nearly any endeavor where we go head-to-head, and I don’t want anyone to think that she can’t.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr They are just my opinions. The gardening question wasn’t personal to me, we do the gardeing together, infact I did more than him last year and lifted some real heavy shit. I was simply a general question. I didn’t say women are supposed to all the cleaning, I said I do. When I first moved in with my boyfriend he always used to clean. I prefer do it, and I prefer to cook, though sometimes we share that.

Seek's avatar

” I do believe that men are better cooks than women though.”

This “opinion” requires substantial evidence to be justified, otherwise it’s just misogyny.

Sophief's avatar

@CyanoticWasp I don’t mind what you say, really. I didn’t say women can’t kill spiders, I said I can’t. I’m really sorry I’m afraid of them, but I am!!

@Seek_Kolinahr You opt to have pointy ears and look weird, that is up to you, your life. I choose to keep a nice home and cook nice food. Yes I am scared of spiders and I would rather not be, but that is my life.

If you all hate me so much, then don’t answer on anything. I don’t ask you to. My opinions aren’t yours. Get over it.

Seek's avatar

@Dibley

I have opinions. Lots of them.

I “believe” Star Trek is better than Star Wars. I believe eating meat is better than being a vegetarian. I believe there probably isn’t a “god”. I believe pop music is shit.

I can tell you why I believe any of those things at any time, and if I was asked, I would have no qualms in doing so.

Why do you refuse to justify your own opinons?

Sophief's avatar

I have been trying, constantly. They are my opinions. Simple. I won’t change them to keep you happy. Why don’t you just back off. Stop stalking me and just avoid me, if I bother you so much. It isn’t hard.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley How would you feel about cooking spiders? Just curious :)

Sophief's avatar

@JeffVader Ha, my boyfriend would have to do that, there is no way I would do that! I wouldn’t know what to have with it for one thing.

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley I think, if you got enough of them together, you could have them as a substitute for popcorn. Whack em in a pan with a drizzle of oil & wait till they stop popping, delicious :)

Sophief's avatar

@JeffVader You’ve made all the hairs stand up on my arms! That’s disgusting. I just bet I see one tonight now!

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley Mmmmmm, crunchy, 8 legged finger food…. did you know that on average every human in England (I assume this could be extrapolated to every nationality, I don’t think this is a uniquely English trait) accidentally eats up to 8 spiders every year? Apparently they crawl into your mouth while you sleep to get at the moisture… now if that doesn’t make the hair stand, nothing will :)

Sophief's avatar

@JeffVader Yes I’ve read that somewhere. I try and keep my mouth closed.

Seek's avatar

@Dibley

When your “opinions” cast roughly 51% of the Earth’s population into a lower-class category, it requires justification.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I don’t have to justify anything to you. Can you justify having pointy ears and a weird face? I wouldn’t expect you to, because that is how you have chosed to live. I am not putting anyone into classes. You really can’t leave me alone can you?

Seek's avatar

Yes, I can. It was a Halloween costume. See? Easy.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Can’t you just piss off and leave me alone. You’ll never get me to say whatever it is you want me to say. Go hassle someone else.

Seek's avatar

All I want is to know why you believe your gender to be the lesser of two, instead of on equal ground.

Is it a religious thing? a cultural thing? grow up in an abusive household? There has to be a reason you’re still living in the dark ages.

Sophief's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr It is my opinion. What the hell is wrong with wanting to be clean. All I have said is I like to have a nice house and cook nice food. I will ask you one more time, can you leave me alone? You don’t agree with me, fine. I don’t care. I don’t agree with many people but I don’t stalk them and hassle them.

Val123's avatar

Wait…wait. Dibley. @Seek_Kolinahr said, All I want is to know why you believe your gender to be the lesser of two,
and you responded with It is my opinion….
Do you really believe women are inferior to men? Do you think men, generally, are smarter than women? Or what? I’m not attacking, just trying to figure it out. To be honest, if there was a ginormous spider, I’d call my husband to get rid of it too! But..I don’t consider myself inferior to him. Do you consider yourself inferior to your SO?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Dibley no one is stalking and harassing you. The fact is—at least “appears to be”—that you have staked out an opinion that women are in many cases inferior to men: not so strong, not so willing to get dirty, not so—what? smart? organized? talented?—that they can’t generally cook as well as men, and presumably other ideas about female inferiority.

I grew up with those ideas. We took those things for granted when I was a boy. Even when my first child was born and it was a son I took inordinate pride in that, too. However, I have learned. It took a long time, and it wasn’t always easy, but I have learned: “women are equal*”. If you self-identify with a silly idea, then people will have that opinion of you.

You can learn, too. Really. Women can do that now, even though in times past it wasn’t always allowed or even believed. It’s true, and it’s not just my opinion.

Edit: they are at least equal

Sophief's avatar

@Val123 No, I’m not inferior to him. I have never said my gender is the less of the two either.

@CyanoticWasp I don’t think you are harassing me, or I didn’t. I wish people would understand that the gardening question wasn’t personal to me, I don’t know how many times I have to say that. I believe women are better than men at things and vice versa. This is getting quite pathetic. I have my opinions and others have theirs. I don’t hassle others if their opinion differs from mine. I have asked a mod for help here, because I don’t like to harassed like this really. But obviously my face doesn’t fit in this
What do I need to do, delete my account and come back as someone else?
I will not change my opinions to suit others.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Dibley of course you shouldn’t change your opinion to suit others. Some of us just… grow up… and change them on our own. Good luck with that, should you ever decide to try it.

Sophief's avatar

@CyanoticWasp @CyanoticWasp I don’t see what the problem is by cooking dinner, I really don’t. What I would appreciate, is if you don’t like me, fine, I couldn’t give a shit, just leave me alone and avoid me. Easy.

tinyfaery's avatar

Rolls eyes. Totally useless.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@tinyfaery I need help.

How would you tell someone “I don’t give a flying fuck hoot for how you cook, clean, garden or scream to have someone “better” eliminate pests (or that you do those things to the exclusion of all else) and that’s not and never has been my problem with you, and I don’t even care if you think that women are second class citizens, incapable of most of the higher thought processes and technical abilities that men possess, good only for cooking, cleaning, making babies and “pretty” and “light” gardening and so forth. Really, you can think any stupid thing that you want. You can even say that you think stupid things. I really don’t care. But I’m going to counter ever time you do say those stupid things—and still hope that you grow up to realize how stupid those things are.”

How would you say that to someone who thinks that all you do is attack her… for liking a clean house and well-cooked meals?

On the other hand, do you think we could list all of the dumb stereotypes that people have fostered about other people from time to time, and expose the idiocy of these prejudgments?

Scandinavians are cold blockheads (I’m part Scandinavian, so I’ll start there)
Mexicans are all greasy thieves
Polish people are hopelessly stupid
Irish are always drunk and beat their wives
Asians can’t drive, but they’re great at math
Jews… well, let’s leave them alone this time, shall we?
Puerto Ricans are frustrated Mexicans, but hella good gang members
Colombians are all drug dealers or poor campesinos who talk to their burros

And for a British woman to think that she can cook, well… we all know that the British can’t cook a lick, anyway, right?

Val123's avatar

Just wanted to make sure @Dibley.

partyparty's avatar

@CyanoticWasp I can see what you are saying to @Dibley but may I add….. I am British… and I CAN cook… and so can my SO… LOLL

Val123's avatar

@partyparty Ah…you only think you can cook! Admit it! (JK)

partyparty's avatar

@Val123 Well you will have to come to one of my dinner parties and find out for yourself then won’t you! LOL

Val123's avatar

You’re on @partyparty! (Hey…do they have barbques in Brittan??)

janbb's avatar

Brit cooks are great!

Val123's avatar

All of ‘em @janbb??

janbb's avatar

All the ones I live with at any rate @Val123 !

tinyfaery's avatar

The internet is not a forum for this. Words are taken out of contexts, points are forgotten, and we cannot react to responses immediately. Plus, you assume that she can, indeed, understand what is you are trying to relay.

downtide's avatar

My partner is a far better cook than me, and does about 50–75% of the cooking at home. I do most of the washing up.

partyparty's avatar

@Val123 Yes of course we do… weather permitting… sometimes we even barbecue in the rain… with a huge umbrella covering the barbecue LOL

partyparty's avatar

@janbb Well I can’t deny we like to cook here in the UK. My favourite chef is Gordon Ramsay… wish I could afford to eat at one of his restaurants!!

Val123's avatar

@partyparty Gordon Ramsey has anger issues.

Seek's avatar

I am so in love with Gordon Ramsay. Srsly. Anger issues and all, the guy’s a damn good cook.

partyparty's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Yes, he certainly has talent. Don’t you think that all the swearing is part of his ‘act’. His wife says he never swears at home. I think most talented people are quite eccentric, and with Gordon it shows through in his manner.

janbb's avatar

@partyparty @Seek_Kolinahr Just a question: how much of his anger is real, do you think, or how much is a “persona” tha sells on t.v.?

partyparty's avatar

@janbb It is most certainly part of his act. See my answer. His wife states he never swears at home. It sells TV plainly and simply. I still think he is a fabulous chef.

janbb's avatar

@partyparty Sorry – shouldn’t Fluther early in the a.m. with one eye shut!

Seek's avatar

I don’t know if it’s all acting.

How many of us are completely different people at home and at work? I know my work-self was much more organised and much more collected than my home self. Perhaps the high-stress environment of the kitchen brings it out of him.

partyparty's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Yes I am sure the stressful environment aids the swearing, and sometimes he does seem quite twitchy, jumping around, but I think he is a fabulous chef, and good looking too!!

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