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Berserker's avatar

Have you ever betrayed someone, or have been betrayed yourself?

Asked by Berserker (33514points) March 15th, 2010

That is if you don’t mind sharing a few details. No need to, of course.
Have you ever betrayed someone or stabbed a friend in the back? What was the reason, how did you reason the action, and how did it make you feel after? What came from this?

If you have been betrayed, why did it happen, if you know why, who was it and why did they do it? How did this make you feel, and what was the outcome?

Either way, what did you learn?

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17 Answers

ModernEpicurian's avatar

I feel that I have been betrayed.

I was cheated on by an Ex, I thought that I would never feel anything worse than that.


A girlfriend once told me that she was falling in love with someone else. I don’t think that anything has hurt me more. I remember curling up with a cushion just saying to myself that “I’ll see my Dad soon and he’ll hug me and everything will be okay”. I was 21.

Betrayal is an awful thing, something that no one should ever have to go through, but everyone will probably experience it once.

Milk's avatar

I know at the moment I am betraying my best friend. At least that’s how I feel. I fell in love with the guy she’s head over heels for. Its not a good feeling at all…

wtfrickinfrack's avatar

I told my parents that I saw my sister having sex with her boyfriend in the back of his car after I swore to her that I wouldn’t. :/ Sure, I was 11… but I still feel like a douchebag about it.

Cruiser's avatar

My ex really good childhood friend turned me in the Feds when he got busted. Rat bastard!

Disc2021's avatar

I’ve betrayed before, but not maliciously. It was mostly done out of confusion, frustration, pressure, etc. I should have reacted more maturely and responsibly.

I’ve been betrayed before. Immediately, it made me feel angry and foolish. Thinking over it, It made me think and consider areas that I was lacking in and what I could have done to prevent it. This only made me understand why it was done better and although I did give a second chance, I found the other person ultimately at fault for the act of betrayal.

What I’ve learned from either side is that things will never go 100% good. Everyone has problems and therefore every relationship (not only a romantic but a relationships in a broad sense) will have problems. It’s important for every side to do their part, listen as well as respond and communicate as often as possible. Always consider the third-person perspective, the world doesn’t revolve around any one person. Also, to be self-aware, understand that your actions will have consequences; the quality of the relationship is often a reflection of actions.

Fred931's avatar

I keep getting betrayed by teammates whilst playing Halo online. Its quite irritating.

bobloblaw's avatar

In college, a couple friends and I decided to start up a business venture to win a contest. The novel idea, at the time (the “time” being about 7 years ago), was to set up a social networking site for college students that was focused on the idea of 1) course reviews, 2) professor reviews, and 3) textbook exchange/sales. The textbook part was big b/c, at the time we were formulating the venture, there were student/professor protests against the university’s official bookstore re: prices.

All three of us ultimately decided that we would shelve the idea for about a month b/c we all had conflicting schedules and obligations. We planned to start the idea in full force come spring break. Since this is about business, you can kind of see where this is going. One of my friends decided to jump ship, without telling us, to another group doing something similar. That alone was pretty bad, but, to add insult to injury, he jumped ship with all of our notes and plans.

Finally, just for good measure, he also came back about a month later asking if we could distribute flyers for his new group for free. I offered to join up with him and his new group to help w/the marketing end of things, but he declined stating that he thought we were friends and that we’d do him just that simple favor.

Oh, and I learned to never fully trust business associates just b/c they were friends and to never let one person take/hold all the notes for your business.

stardust's avatar

I have been on both sides of the fence.
I’ve been betrayed many times by friends and family. Our family has a screwed up history – so many different dynamics flying around. I’ve betrayed my brother by breaking his trust and “ratting him out” if you will. I’ve grown from it, if anything.
I’ve betrayed friends out of fear and insecurity. I too have grown from that.
I’ve been betrayed and it’s truly hurtful. It’s hard to get past, but it can be a red flag that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. I think it’s part of human nature – we get scared and react. Everyone’s reaction is unique to themselves. It’s sad & I regret my past betrayals, but I think I’ve grown as a result.

MrsDufresne's avatar

I’ve been the betrayer after I was betrayed.

At the time, I thought that was the worst feeling in the world, until I was told that he might die. (He didn’t:)

That made me grow up really quick.

Being betrayed hurts. A lot.

But the thought of him in the ground, hurts beyond everything. Ever.

YARNLADY's avatar

Only by Mother Nature.

WormJuggler's avatar

not in any way worth remembering or mentioning. I guess I’m lucky, but I also have a tendency to avoid confrontation as much as possible, so I may have dodged some bullets.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I betrayed someone before. I told them I was leaving them for someone I wanted to marry and start a family with, I lied about that part on purpose to hurt them out of some pent up bitterness and I did apologize for it and have always regretted the way I handled the situation.

I have been betrayed also and by a few people I really went out on a limb for as far as my trust and emotional investment. One was a bf who cheated on me when I went out of state for a week, he said it was because he was angry at being left out of the trip. Lame. The other betrayal wasn’t physical (that I know of) but a bf was sexting an old acquaintance of his and gave me the weak excuse it was because we hadn’t been getting along during that time. Whatever, it really made me look at the relationship in a whole new light like, what else or more would he do anytime he felt we weren’t getting along?

free_fallin's avatar

Both more times than I’d like.

Vunessuh's avatar

I can’t really think of a time where I’ve betrayed someone.
I’ve never cheated in a relationship or exposed publicly any secrets of one of my friends. I’m not the backstabbing type. I rarely carry around a lot of vengeance. After all, you have to pick and choose your battles. Plus, guilt eats me alive too easily.
There was a time though, a little over a year ago, when I was working for a promotional company and in charge of my own team. One of the girls on my team, who I became friends with, began slacking off a lot. Instead of doing the right thing and going directly to her about it, I expressed my frustration to the owner of the company who ended up almost firing her. I felt really, really horrible about it because she was really uncomfortable every time she walked into work after that. I definitely fucked up there and still feel bad a year later, even though I didn’t do it on purpose to be malicious or anything. I just wasn’t thinking and didn’t handle the situation properly.

I’ve definitely been betrayed before. I’ve been cheated on in relationships and hit when they told me they would never hurt me. Boo fucking hoo. Cry me a river. Boys suck anyway.
What really hurt me was a friendship I lost about a year ago.
I met a really nice girl on a film set. We began spending a lot of time together; meeting for lunch, going to Disneyland. Yes, Disneyland….annual passes, yo.
She was a Christian, borderline Bible thumper and I didn’t really have a problem with it other than I’m an Atheist and chose to keep quiet about it. She seemed like the judgmental type so I figured it was the best thing to do. I don’t like talking about religion anyway. She did, however, know that I wasn’t a Christian and didn’t read the Bible and didn’t go to church and began spending some time trying to convince me to go with her. It started to get irritating, but I was polite about it and rejected her offer kindly.
She was and still is in an abusive relationship and every time he would use her as a punching bag I would let her sleep over at my home and cleaned her wounds for her. I went above and beyond to be a good friend and support her.
To spare you the details, she discovered I was an Atheist and decided to end the friendship based off of that. However, so she wouldn’t sound shallow, she tried to find other things to blame it on, which just made her look fucking stupid.
In the end, I felt really hurt and incredibly used.
I was in awe that someone could be that shallow and arbitrary. It was like high school bullshit. Grow up, ho. Fucking bitch. Now I’m pissed off again about it.
Thanks for listening :D

Berserker's avatar

@Vunessuh Oh god. You cleaned her wounds and she throws all that away on account of you being an Atheist…ugh…Funny too, as I can’t think of anything more Christian than what you did for her.

mindful's avatar

As a betrayer-
I hadn’t thoguht about this incident until I cam upon this question.

This happened when I was about 11 years old. My two close friends and I were at a summer camp. I decided to ditch my two friends and hang out with a group of kids who I though were “cooler” when we were getting group rooms assigned. However, My two frineds have never shown any contempt towards it and we are still remain close so I think things are in good order between us.

As betrayed-
This has happened twice. First incident was a learning experience and the second was me foolish to re-connect with them (I still don’t get why I wanted that). The first incident was as follows. I was succesful and I was enjoying life and then came bad times for as I had mis-calculated and got myself into trouble. My so called “friends” decided to take advantage of this and showed me their true faces. Ever since then I kept my distance then 2 years later…I am still not sure about what went on during that time as I was under a lot of stress and I remember multiple things but basicaly I was in a state of extrme confusion, along with just trying to fight and get out of depression etc and basically the same kids try to put me down again and this time they were able to do deal some scratches because my mind was all fuzzy and I could not make the right descisions at the right time to protect myself.

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