General Question

Syger's avatar

Am I acting out of line/can legal action be taken against me?

Asked by Syger (1389points) March 15th, 2010

Firstly; this will be a ridiculously brief summary of how this came about.

- My girlfriend one night tells me she’s pregnant before I have to leave to go back home, I tell her I’ll be behind her and support her every step of the way and we both mutually agree that abortion is the best choice for us at this point in our lives and for the sake of it’s. She claims she’s 22 weeks in but doesn’t look it at all.
– I come back home and grow attached to the child as she has me speak to it over Skype by having the headset on her belly. She refuses to take any pictures of the growth of her, but shows a suspicious set of ultrasound pictures to me. I buy it.
– Eventually one night (about 3 weeks later) we’re talking over Skype and she freezes up and says her water broke and goes to the hospital, we talk on our cellphones on her drive there, she is crying and saying she is sorry, a few hours later when she can use her phone again and had the child without any sort of drugs to help her she is talking fine like nothing happened and it didn’t hurt much.
– The next day I’m at school and get a text from her saying her phone is dying and then one saying that the child passed away and her phone dies, there is no contact between us for about 5 days and I am throwing up in grief.
– I talk to two close friends about the matter who help me search for the hospital she’s in and she is no where to be found, but eventually she contacts me back and doesn’t seem too shaken about the loss of the baby.
– I plan to get out there not even two weeks later, dropping a ton of stuff to comfort her and have us be together in our time of need.
– I find a picture on a facebook profile of an inside joke we have at an anime convention while she’d have been giving birth and ask her about it- she offers up a terrible excuse saying she had her friend do it. (like she planned the birth?)
– I ignore it and stay loyal to her, eventually I get there and we’re having a good time being with eachother again and there is no sorrow about the child at this point from her aside from a frown while we’re in stores near baby clothes.
– I find pictures of her at the con while there on her computer one night when she was away at dinner with some relatives, but don’t confront her about them since she is my only way to get back to the airport and get back home
– a few days after getting home I contact a friend of hers that she had assured me was ‘just a platonic friendship’ which I later find out she has had sex with many many times while we were together. She freaks out the moment I say hi to him- my intentions were merely to get to know him but she refuses to talk to anyone for a few days.
– The friend and I talk openly about her and he tells me many things such as she’s faked a pregnancy with him and 3 other guys, and that he’s sorry she cheat on me with him- he was told by her many times she wasn’t with anyone, and that she wasn’t pregnant at all. We contact her mother who’s prepping for a move to England and she seems leery of everything but hears us out.
– about 2 weeks later she gets mad at me over nothing and refuses to talk again but then says she has something to say but wants to wait until I can’t document it at all… so I agree and carry on with life; planning to be done with her after she says what she has to say
– she doesn’t say much of anything but begins to call my phone about 8 or 9 times at ridiculous hours begging for me to call, so I do and she lies directly to my face more about it and eventually says she had an abortion. I stood sturdy during all of this conversation because I’ve been rather fed up with the whole situation and I’m disgusted with her lying.
– Now I’m getting subtly threatening emails from her mother telling me I need to talk to her because I “don’t understand how serious this is”
– I’ve been ignoring her calls and her mother’s emails because I really want nothing more to do with them, there is no way she was pregnant, and I can’t fathom why her mother is so devoted to defending her daughter when we have proof that she lied about these things.


I’m wondering if there’s any legal action they can take upon me, and if I’m just being an asshole by trying to stay away from it.

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34 Answers

bob_'s avatar

It doesn’t quite sound like you could be sued for anything. If you decided to call her mother, I’d record it.

bummer's avatar

Bummer situation. tell her you got another girl pregnant and have decided to make a life with the new family and say goodbye forever to her.

Cruiser's avatar

Yes, you are legally responsible for all your actions including dating this nutjob. Turn yourself into the authorities immediately!

FutureMemory's avatar

What crime do you think you may have committed? I don’t find anything you did to be wrong, much less criminal.

Syger's avatar

@FutureMemory The only thing I can think of would be having used her computer and finding the pictures of her at the con without her consent.

SeventhSense's avatar

No you’re good. If I were a friend I would definitely bitch slap you if you went anywhere near this psycho again though.

MagicalMystery's avatar

i’m a little lost at the part “I plan to get out there not two weeks later.” you thought your girlfriend had a baby and you took two weeks to go see her?

chamelopotamus's avatar

Wow that’s quite a story man. That is the most suspicious pregnancy I’ve ever heard of. She should have been in way deeper grief, like on an inconceivable level. If she’s faked pregnancies before, she’s the one who has to worry about her future, not you.

Syger's avatar

@MagicalMystery I meant to put ‘had planned’, in other words I scrambled and dropped just about everything to get myself there as soon as possible. I thought she had delivered a child that died not even 10 hours later.

escapedone7's avatar

You have every right to decide who you want to have in your life and who you don’t want to have in your life. They may try to threaten you but call their bluff. There is no law against keeping psycho people out of your life. Tell them any future contact will be considered harassment and document it. They might be the ones who end up in trouble.

PLEASE go get tested for STD’s right now though. Get a thorough work up. You can’t believe anything this girl says so anything she has to say is probably a lie. The thought did cross my mind though that this major important thing you need to know is she has AIDS or something. You can’t take her word for it anyway. Definitely go get tested for STDs just in case that’s the big important news you have to know. Hopefully not. Wrap it up from now on. It’s not worth it.

dpworkin's avatar

Just cut off all contact with her and her family. Don’t even say yes, no, goodbye or hello. She is a dangerous whack job, and you should make the cut surgical, precise and lasting.

Silhouette's avatar

Bendy – straw sounds about right.

njnyjobs's avatar

If they do haul you into any legal action, I think you can safely plead insanity because what you just narrated as you claim were your actions were totally highly unlikely to happen from a sane person. Other than that, the only other thing they can get you for is child support if indeed DNA proves that you are the father.

Syger's avatar

@njnyjobs But there was no child. It was all a lie by her.

njnyjobs's avatar

@Syger exactly… by reason of deduction, then the asnwer would be: highly unlikely. If at all, you can counter sue with emotional distress and pychological impairment

chyna's avatar

Luckily, she doesn’t live close to you. She is probably playing this game with several guys, as the one guy you contacted has told you. Stay away from the nut job, her mother and any friends she may have. Do not answer their calls, their emails or facebook crap. Delete her out of your life as she is toxic and you deserve someone that will treat you better and have a real relationship with. I would not waste one more minute thinking of this person as she doesn’t deserve you. There is nothing legally they can do to you, and if her mother thinks you are responsible for her daughter’s happiness, then she is a bigger nut job than her daughter.

lillycoyote's avatar

What do you or worried about in terms of the legal action they might take against you? I can’t see anything. You can’t be sued for “emotional distress” in a situation like this. On the other, you may be able to or may have to a get a restraining order against the girl and or her mother if they don’t leave you alone. You’re best rid of the both of them, IMHO.

cak's avatar

Run, do not walk, to the exit.

If they sue you, which maybe they could, in civil court – then she will have to prove what happened. (documentation, bills) She can’t just walk in and say she had an abortion and win -saying you owe her money or something like that. If she delivered at a hospital, there would be bills. Again, she would have to prove it in a court of law. I don’t see that there is any basis for criminal charges (except the computer snooping thing); however, I doubt it would go that far.

If she decides to sue you in civil court, it’s time to get witness statements from those that know first-hand of her lies about being pregnant.

Best bet, leave this girl and her deluded mother alone.

Syger's avatar

Even if she did get an abortion (which I was not notified about at all if it were to be the case), on what grounds could they sue me/my family for? Even if it were over the computer thing; would the situation not be able to have any sway to counter-act that?

cak's avatar

@Syger – It seems like she could only go after cost of the procedure and try for emotional distress, but she wouldn’t win. There is no way she is telling the truth. It’s too shady. Somehow, she has her mother conned into believing this is true.

I’m thinking if she ever decided to run with the computer thing, I’d seriously call her bluff on the pregnancy thing. I’d ask for the proof about the “delivery” or “abortion” – whichever story she went with, at the time. I would ask her if she really wanted to move forward, because you would try to research what your options were, as far as fraud.

She’s just trying to stay in your life. She sounds like she needs serious therapy. And her mother needs to end her trip to LaLa Land. Her daughter is going to land in serious trouble, if she continues down this path.

aprilsimnel's avatar

No offense, but she sounds psycho. Don’t get caught up in her stuff. If she tries anything, you get a lawyer. That ought to shake her up.

marinelife's avatar

She is a totally crazy person. You should stay as far away as possible. Do not under any circumstances talk to this woman again.

There is no way they can legally force you to have contact with her.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I am thinking you can put a restraining order on this person and take legal against her if necessary.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

@Syger, if you need to, point her mother to your chain of questions that you have here on Fluther. You’ve got a history of questions on this topic that date back to September, and as far back on the baby issue to the first of the year. Every bit of your history with Psycho Barbie is documented here in your questions.

Change your e-mail and your phone number, let your parents know what’s going on.

Syger's avatar

I’ve also kept chatlogs since I first had any sort of suspicion of her.
Her mother is mindlessly defending her though, talking to her won’t help any.

Trillian's avatar

@njnyjobs “by reason of deduction, then the asnwer would be: highly unlikely. If at all, you can counter sue with emotional distress and pychological impairment.” Judge Judy wouldn’t give him a penny for dating a whack job.
@Syger Don’t waste one more minute of your time with this nut, or her nutty family. Life is too short.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

You will not be able to change anyone’s mind or add anything positive to the outcome by talking to these people. Resist the temptation. What these people think don’t matter, and you already know she’s pulled this on other guys. You cannot change her or make her remorseful.

Silence and time are your best allies.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I didn’t even finish reading it but she’s a psycho and you don’t owe her anything. I would dare her to sue me, I would dare her if I were you

YARNLADY's avatar

We already went through this same story last month. If you didn’t listen to jelly advice then, why come back with the same crazy story again?

SeventhSense's avatar

On a lighter note I bet she was great in the sack. The crazy girls are always fun. :)

chyna's avatar

This is why I like @SeventhSense . He always finds the silver lining in a bleak question.

SeventhSense's avatar

It’s true. Those psychos will have you climbin’ the walls…until of course they have you climbing the walls looking for the window.

shf84's avatar

sounds like these people are crazy I’d stay away from them as far as I could.

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