General Question

wgirl44's avatar

Should I stay on spring break even though I hate it?

Asked by wgirl44 (20points) March 16th, 2010

I’ll have to start with the back story before I ask the actual question:

I’m on spring break with one of my sorority sisters and a bunch of her friends from high school. I wanted me and my sister to be better friends after this because she’s probably my best friend in the sorority. I got other offers with my other sisters but I chose this one.

So we have a house with 11 other people and I’m miserable. The other girls here are already best friends and they talk about people from their home town and I can’t contribute to the conversation because I don’t know who they’re talking about so I feel left out. And most of the people here are dating each other so they stick with their boyfriends all the time. My sorority sister does that especially. She told me before we left that everyone would be so nice and accepting and that she would hang out with me, but neither of these happened. She is ALWAYS with her boyfriend (who isn’t in college so they don’t see each other often) and never talks to me.

She’s sleeping with her boyfriend downstairs and I’m in the room upstairs with all the girls stuff but they usually sleep with their boyfriends so it’s just me. But my room is the only one that connects to the upstairs deck and it’s so annoying. I go to sleep early because I don’t like it when they just sit downstairs in each others laps and play beer pong but last night especially, they kept walking in out of my room where I was sleeping, my sister even told them to! And then this morning, they woke me up to go smoke on the deck, paying no attention to the sleeping me or anything.

I don’t have my car here, I rode down with my sister, so I can’t just leave whenever, but I do have some friends from my high school staying about 30 minutes away who are leaving on Thursday and Friday, and I could ride with them, but there’s a band I want to see playing Friday night.

The question is, should I talk to my sister about how I’m having the worst time ever? Is it worth staying?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

25 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

I think talk to your sister, tell her you are not angry at her at all, but would prefer to leave early, because you are not having a very good time, and that you hope she understands. I lean towards leave if you are miserable. Hopefully, you are not angry, just dissappointed with the weekend. If you stay longer you will probably only get more and more frustrated and dissappointed.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, you should talk to her, but it doesn’t sound like a good set up where things are likely to get fixed. It sounds like you should maybe hook up with your friends who are staying 30 minutes away and try to salvage some of the week. Maybe they even have a bed you could have?

J0E's avatar

Definitely keep doing things you hate.~

wgirl44's avatar

I know if I leave and my sister asks why, I’m going to go off on her. I’m already so pissed off about the entire situation. I also want to stay because I paid for part of the house and groceries, otherwise it’s just wasted money.

elenuial's avatar

It’s almost always a good idea to try open and honest communication. Your sister should be someone who’s willing to listen at the very least. Hopefully, she’d be willing to make an effort to help you feel included without being horrible about it. Since it’s Tuesday, you can talk to her, and if it doesn’t get better, then you know it’s a good idea to skip town with those other friends.

If you don’t talk to her at all, she’ll probably think you’re spiteful or something, and wind up mad at you.

davidbetterman's avatar

Why are you even in a sorority? This is the same mindless idiocy as the fraternities. Get out while you still have your sanity.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

The “sunk costs” of your portion of the vacation home rental and groceries should not be part of your calculation. That is, that money is already spent, and you won’t get it back. So your calculation should involve your time (which is priceless) and opportunity to do other things. I’d be so out of there.

JLeslie's avatar

@wgirl44 She may not listen or be nice to you, but if you can pull it together, hold your temper, and do the mature thing, it will be best for you. Since you say you might go off on her, that to me reinforces that you should leave.

Have you talked to your mom or dad about the situation? Not for them to interfere or for you to complain about your sister, and not for them to talk to your sister, but maybe they can help you with the money? Give you a little to help pay for the extra money you will have to spend to stay with your friends? Only you know how your parents are when it comes to money. When I was in school, if I were unhappy in a situation, my parents would not want me to stay in it, and would give me a couple hundred to help me get out. Especially since the situation is a rowdy bunch of girls being idiots.

jazmina88's avatar

It’s spring break. Stop the torture. Call your friends and hope for an escape route.

jazmina88's avatar

If you leave, will figure out you are having a bad time. No need to add to the drama.

JLeslie's avatar

After reading @jazmina88 answer, it makes me want to add, that I agree there does not have to be drama, that is what I meant, but was probably unclear. Telling them you are going to leave is in order, don’t just dissappear, but there does not have to be a big discussion or any blaming, it is not their job to make sure you have a good time. They are doing what is fun for them, but it is not fun for you, that is all. You can frame it with this perspective, and possibly reduce your anger about the situation, help yourself feel better and move on.

mrrich724's avatar

Don’t bother talking to her, it’s as much of her spring break as it is yours. Do you really wan’t to convince her to go out of her way to have to do anything else?

Just casually set up the ride out of there, and when it’s time to go, gracefully say something along the lines of, “thanks guys it’s been fun but I planned on doing this ‘other thing’ too.”

If you want to bring it up to her after the break, bring it up at your house or something, but don’t make it awkward and add an awkward tone to theirs (and your) spring break.

JLeslie's avatar

@mrrich724 That is just dissappearng to me. I guess since these girls are immature she can get away with that approach, but it is not a good way to handle situations in my opinion. Won’t they wonder wtf happened? They know she planned originally to stay the whole time. It is a passive aggressive act.

Shae's avatar

I don’t think you should be pissed off at your sister. That is what Spring Break is. Guys and girls hooking up, playing beer pong, and staying up late. Stop being a martyr b/c nobody is babying you into fun. Join in. Make yourself part of the group. Nobody is responsible for your fun but you. Suck it up.

mrrich724's avatar

@JLeslie I said that she should “gracefully say something. . . ”

So I don’t think it’s disappearing. It’s more like she wanted to spend time with both groups and now she is departing. I didn’t say leave the house without a word.

I didn’t mean don’t bother talking to her at all. I meant, don’t bother talking to her about the situation while on spring break.

JLeslie's avatar

@mrrich724 The way I interpreted what you wrote was to say something on her way out. Instead of maybe saying something beforehand like, “tomorrow I am going to go to stay with some of my friends who are nearby.” I don’t like surprises, just me.

partyparty's avatar

Think you should speak to your sister explaining you are not happy. Speak to the others and ask them to knock on your door, and if you don’t answer, then they can’t just go through to the deck.
As you are so looking forward to seeing the band I would stay.

njnyjobs's avatar

Be civil about it and tell her that since she’s always with BF, and you’re practically by yourself, that your planning on just cutting the stay short unless she can suggest a worthwhile reason for you to stay. . . . so now, the ball is on her court. . . . and give her a time limit for a decision.

JLeslie's avatar

Ooh, I forgot about the band. Hmm. That is tough. I NEVER went away with friends for spring break. I don’t drink, I cannot stand reckless behavior. Even people who are normally responsible and not out of control get stupid in groups, maybe it is peer pressure or something?? Or, I guess maybe they really do enjoy getting shitfaced, not giving a damn abot how they are affecting other people around them. Never did understand that.

mrentropy's avatar

Step out and do your own thing. Find your own fun.

Val123's avatar

I know….get sick. Tell them you gotta go home because you’re sick.

YARNLADY's avatar

I agree with @mrentropy. It’s only a week, and surely you don’t have to depend on other people to entertain you. This is a good time to teach yourself how to be independent and do what makes you happy. Spend the rest of the time on Fluther – find someone who is lonely and be a friend – maybe you could even do something useful, like study.

Jeruba's avatar

I think a graceful exit is called for.

Val123's avatar

@Jeruba (Would, um, sticking a finger down her throat and frowing up in front of them to convinced them she’s sick be considered “graceful”?...)

wgirl44's avatar

I appreciate everyone helping, but I can’t find a ride back so I’m pretty much stuck here. I’m just going to put up with it and I probably won’t be as good of friends with my sister as I was before.

@Shae I’m trying as hard as I can, but I can’t help but feel stupid every time I try to get in on their conversations and cling on to them when they go places

@davidbetterman I love my sorority :) There’s no way I’d drop out

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther