What is the most awkward question your children (or someone else) have asked you?
I was asked an extremely awkward question by my kids last night. It was shocking when they asked, “have you ever cheated on Mom?”
What??? “Where is this coming from?” I asked. Indeed, what would make a 13 year-old and a 10 year-old ask such a thing? It seems there was a song they had been listening to. My wife told them I hadn’t (a lie). Later on, I said that I had, but I said it in a joking kind of way.
Aaaaawwkward.
Have your kids asked you something really awkward? If you don’t have kids, just expand this to the most awkward question you’ve ever been asked. What did they ask? What did you answer?
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By an elderly Uncle: “What colour panties are you wearing?” He’s in a home, but still….
My son, he turned 14 last month,a couple of years ago asked me “what do you say to the girl when you’re having sex“I told him to say whatever entered his head would probably be okay,as long as he got her name right.
some kids I was babysitting for awhile back asked me what 69 meant (they knew it was something to do with sex)....they were all kinds of curious—10 and 12 year old girls.
Other than the cock ring thing that I told about in another thread, nothing comes to mind. However, when my oldest was seven, she did ask me about how something or other was when I was young ”...in the olden days.” ;-) Brat.
Six year old, “Mom. What would happen if a bear had a chicken and a chicken had a bear?”
My immediate response was, “You’d have a dead chicken and a frustrated bear!” Then came the birds and the bees talk. My daughter was aghast and disgusted! My husband and I had just had a new baby, and when my daughter put two and two together, I thought she was gonna frow up!
Our eleven year old asked me what “cum” is the other day. Some boy at school told her it looked like she “had cum on her lip.” She kept asking him what it was and he told her to be quiet or she’d get in trouble. The boys told her if she asked her mom, she’d get her face slapped. She knew that wasn’t true, so she asked me. I told her the truth. She knows what sex is, but the details aren’t that fun to talk about. It can get awkward for sure.
@jealoustome arggh, you beat me to it. I get half your lurve for this one
@cockswain You didn’t have to answer the awkward question.
My then 4yr old kinda-sorta-nephew told me I was fun to hug because my boobs were fluffy.
@Neizvestnaya ROFL!!!!! My then four year old daughter was perched up on the bathroom sink while I was brushing my teeth. She was talking to herself in the mirror. She says, “I have boobies that are this big.” And puts her hand against her chest. “But Mommy has boobies that are THIS BIG!!!!” And flung her hands out as far as they could go! Wasn’t quite accurate, but is was funny! :)
@Val123
The same kid informed us his “doo dah” wasn’t as big as his dad’s but it was still big and he named it Godzilla.
@Neizvestnaya Hope springs eternal! ;-) I have to add that my oldest daughter had a great big stuffed ninja Turtle at one time. She put it on the floor against the couch and sat between its legs to watch tv one day. I looked and told her that it was kind of gross. She said; “Why? It’s not like he has a little penis or anything.” She was about six at the time.
@Neizvestnaya Godzilla!! LOL!!!!! You are flat makin’ my day!! OK, my turn! My then four year old son had a balloon. It was one of the long ones. It was huge, almost bigger than he was! He holds it in the appropriate place and exclaims “This is bigger than my penis!” Like he just couldn’t believe anything could be bigger than his penis!!
When my daughter was around 4yrs old,she’s now 10yrs old,she woke up one morning & asked “why were you hurting mummy in bed daddy“You can guess the rest.I told her mummy had a tummy upset.Sometimes it’s okay to lie.Phew!
Kids pick up on atmosphere. The wildest thing I ever heard a kid ask was in a ladies room, I over heard a boy ask his mom why she had a vagiant
@ucme
When about 7yrs old I walked past my parents bedroom which had the door ajar and they were making the beast with two backs. I didn’t like my stepfather and later asked my mom how she could let such an ugly man lie on top of her and grunt like he had to go number 2 potty. She cried.
when i was 11 i read the book “Saturday Night Fever” and i did not understand what a cocksucker was, so one day in the car i asked my mom “Mom, what’s a cocksucker?”
@jca Ha Ha!!!! I gotta go get busy in the yard before my husband has me committed for sitting in an empty room laughing hysterically! Carry on!
My son was around 4 years ago and we were at a well child checkup with his (new) pediatrician. He was a towhead up until the age of 10 or so, and has fair skin and blue eyes. I am an olive skinned brunette with brown eyes.
Toward the end of the appointment I remember this like it was yesterday, the doctor leaned back in her stool, hugged the chart, crossed her legs and then her hands and with a big smile asked, “Now tell me, is he really your son?”
The twins that I babysit asked me why you don’t have a grandma once you turn 39.
That was really awkward.
My 10 year old daughter asked me, as we were driving, ‘Did I know Marilyn Manson had ribs removed so he could give himself a blow-job?’ Almost crashed!
@faye OMG!! And they always do that when you’re doing 60, don’t they!
I didn’t know what intercourse meant until I was 13! (Iknew what sex was just not all the terms)
My son rushed home from school and asked me where my G spot is? :O
@mcbealer : i consider that pretty nervy of the doctor to ask you.
@jca I agree. Even if he was adopted it would have been a rude question.
My 4 y/o daughter walked in on my husband while he was using the bathroom and said, “Do you have to hold that big thing that comes out of your bottom when you pee?” I overheard this while I was in bed and just knew my husband was dying a thousand deaths. She kept asking until he answered. “Bottom” to her is the whole kit & kaboodle, front to back.”
Someone I had known for about a day—at work—asked me randomly, “whats the word for a whole bunch of people having sex all together?”
That was awkward.
@faye The Manson thing is a false rumor, just in case you were wondering! I think he would have mentioned that in his autobiography, and he didn’t. ...Don’t ask why I have read that book.
One of my awkward moments was with my dad. I had gone out to a basketball game with two women who happened to be in a relationship. When he asked about it, he said, “So… what do you think about… their lifestyle?”
I replied, “Are you asking me if I’m a lesbian, Dad?”
”...In a sense…”
I’m not, by the way, but still. I would have told him long before that if I was!
I’m breastfeeding, and my 2.5 year old asks me pretty much every single day “mommy, is that a BOOB?!” It always cracks me up.
I still crack up on this one…
My son hit the stage of working the words penis, wiener and balls into his daily language and worked it into a conversation with me. He talking about going potty with his dad in a store and he said that Dad told him girls don’t stand up – but didn’t explain why. He asked what we did with our penis when we peed. I told him we don’t really have the same equipment, not a penis like boys do. Before I could go further, he ran out of the room screaming, “DAD!!! MOM DOESN’T HAVE A PENIS!!! SHE’S AN ALIEN! SHE DOESN’T PEE!!
It still cracks me up.
My daughter was very intelligent and always had tough questions for me about sex, starting quite young. The one that stands out is when she and her friend (they were about 12) came into the kitchen and asked about male ejaculation and what it felt like for the woman when it happened. I was able to turn around and explain after I whipped the hell out of the potatoes for a couple of minutes.
Probably when I was 10. It was a “Dads come to school” day and this girl CL asked me with many of the class watching, “How come your dad’s not here?” while the others waited for my response. I’m sure I stood there goggle-eyed trying to think of a plausible lie. Thank Bob someone’s dad was there to realize that was a rude question and distracted the others. It was a long few seconds, let me tell you. How do you explain to a bunch of 10-year-olds that the way you were conceived really doesn’t end with the man being a part of your life? Or how it is that you would know about such things, anyway?
How the fuck are you still a virgin???
-A fat freshman friend of my roommate’s
@jca and @Val123 ~ Yes, luckily she caught me at a good moment when my blood sugar was stable :)
I effectively laughed it off and commented on the many hours of childbirth labor it had taken to get him out… Over the years I have drawn from the composure I mustered that day when other equally rude people have made similar comments.
Let’s just say where we live isn’t the most diverse of communities.
@cak You don’t have a penis???? Wow!
Um….NO I DON’T EITHER! Whatever shall I do?
@Val123 last time I checked…nope…still don’t! :)
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