Social Question

Ranimi23's avatar

Do you have the courage to go against the tide and just revel on being one's own self regardless of what other people say?

Asked by Ranimi23 (1914points) March 20th, 2010

From where did you find that kind of courage?
What was the situation that made you act like this?
and finally, From where do you think I can get the courage I need right now in order to do something big that lots of people don’t think it might work, so I’m alone on that track because I believe I can achieve that goal by myself.

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37 Answers

slick44's avatar

Go for it, you only live once. make the most of what little time we all have. Dont think to hard about it, you will drive yourself crazy.

Trillian's avatar

I don’t know that I revel in it, but I frequently find myself in the minority about any number of issues. I think it does take a bit of courage to be the odd man out, especially if the other group is large and/or vocal. Mine came with the realization that this was never going to change so I might as well get used to the censure and derision.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, I have always been unconventionl.

Courage..yes, a lot of people will not be supportive of ones unconventional choices. lol

You must have the inner strength to not fall prey to others opinions, which often are born of their own woefully lacking creativity and frusterations.

Thats okay, because being true to oneself is whats really important.

I am proud of the fact that I live according to my OWN inner rythems, philosophies and am not your run of the mill herd animal.

NEVER betray yourself for the sake of running with the pack.

It’s the lone wolf that truly enjoys the view from it’s own mountain top!

lloydbird's avatar

Yes I do have.

Err…if that’s ok with you.

Just_Justine's avatar

You only need answer to yourself, in the end all you have is yourself. Get on the ship and master your own destiny. You can’t please everyone all the time. Good luck!

LuckyGuy's avatar

That’s how you make money in the stock market. Go for it.

partyparty's avatar

I always go with what I believe in. Most of the time it works, but if not, then I will try something else.
Go for it… you may regret it one day!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

If you’re going to live your own life you have to go with your convictions and have the courage to stand up for yourself. Otherwise, you’re letting someone else dictate where your life goes. Take your best shot. If it doesn’t pan out, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and file the lessons you learn away for future use.

Jeruba's avatar

If you already have the belief that you can do this big thing by yourself, and if before that you even dared to think of a big project that others tried to discourage, then you don’t need to come here and ask. You already have the courage. If it doesn’t come from within, it doesn’t come from anywhere.

But I would also add that most people in individualist Western cultures do think they’re different from the crowd, and in that way they are really the same as the crowd. I don’t know much about the psychology of the Eastern collectivist cultures, but my suspicion is that if you are even thinking about something that sets you apart, you have already broken out.

susanc's avatar

@Jeruba, even more well said than usual.

Berserker's avatar

I say what I want whatever the hell others have to say about it, good or bad. I draw no courage and I feel no fear with this. If people don’t like it, fuck it, and even if they do like it, fuck it anyways lol.
My dad was a hippy, although I doubt this has much to do with it, but for how much he raised me, he was damn liberal with just about everything, so to me it just came naturally, despite me having some slight issues with shyness. I’m more of a psychopath than just lacking confidence really. Most of that is a joke.

So wouldn’t be sure what to suggest for you to be able to do the same. I think my realization came with not myself thinking me better and more wise or intelligent than others, but that most people I meet just aren’t any more of that than I am. Being an Emo here I guess, what I’m saying is, I think maybe people refrain because they believe that people expect so much of them…and maybe they do, but most times it just ain’t worth it. Got outta being a little too shy this way. >_>

JessicaisinLove's avatar

That’s what the breakaway hippie movement in the 70’s was about. Going against the tide of war, racism and this is the way it’s always been done…...type of thinking. I’m all for unconventional exchange of ideas in a platform that would have a positive effect.
But just to be publicly unconventional for the sake of being different has no purpose other than attention seeking for the person doing it. Attention from others who share your mind set but perhaps becoming an outcast to all others.
It’s pretty hard to achieve a goal all by yourself unless you are playing golf or have unlimited resources. Usually big goals have a small beginning and happen slowly.

Coloma's avatar

I’d fall into that 70’s category most certainly. lol

Definetley one to challenge protocol. lol

Not into the 9–5 scene, not into mass consumerism, not into debt, or the ‘American dream’ scene.

But…I live well, have a cute home to my standards of taste, lots of free time and thats exactly how I plan to keep living, work creatively as it shows up and do my own thing the rest of the time. Works for me. :-)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

The closest I came to this was going against my family’s wishes for me to finish college first and then get married and again when I wanted to start a business with my then husband. I didn’t have so much courage as knowing what I was capable of and having a plan and support.

thriftymaid's avatar

I’ve always lived like this.

CMaz's avatar

It’s how I roll. Get use to it. ;-)

Bronny's avatar

coffee will give you the extra “umph”.

dutchbrossis's avatar

Yes I do have it. I got that courage by always knowing that my thoughts are well thought out and have reason behind them and that what other people say doesn’t matter. I know I should do whatever makes me happy.

babaji's avatar

You have to walk to the beat of your own drum,
or you are not being true to yourself.

liminal's avatar

I think all people do. People often don’t realize the courage and resilience they have until they find themselves in the midst of a challenge. Of course, several people don’t discover this until they are forced into something difficult. Choosing difficulty, with wisdom and instead of waiting for it to find you, can empower you to better face the unexpected challenges of life you are bound to meet.

Jeremycw1's avatar

screw the system!! do not conform!!! oh yeah and courage could help with that

JessicaisinLove's avatar

@jeremycw1 – hahahahahahaha so true. The prisons are full of folks who got courage and ignorance mixed up. Now courage is necessary for them to continue to fight ignorance
just like their own. Some Irony in there for sure.
( Ignorance in the context of being mis informed certainly not in their level of intelligence
as there are many extremely intelligent folks in prison)

mollypop51797's avatar

Life is short. Don’t let anyone’s opinions about your goals prevent you from doing otherwise. GO AGAINST THE TIDE!! Don’t be afraid! Go for it! I don’t know you.. but I support you! I think that whatever your heart desires and whatever you truly believe can happen, really can. And people’s negative opinions should have anything to do with that. Think of it as your garden. Just pull everyone’s negative comments and opinions out of your garden as if they’re weeds. I support you all the way, and don’t lose faith in yourself. Once you dig deep enough, you’ll find that courage.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

What if “one’s own self” is an asshole?

wundayatta's avatar

I had no choice. I am who I am. I tried faking it, but everyone saw through it. So, I’m myself, and sometimes that takes me against the tide, and sometimes I float with it.

YARNLADY's avatar

I am very oblivious to what other people think, the original clueless. I do what I want, and what I think is right, and that’s it. I rarely give much thought what others think. When I want to impress someone, or make a specific point, I will behave accordingly.

phillis's avatar

I don’t have enough information to offer you a tailored answer, so I will simply present my thoughts.

If you think that you can accomplish this goal by yourself, then go ahead and do it without them. There’s no need to wait….you can get started right away. Don’t wait on other’s permission, because they aren’t going to give it to you. If you’re very lucky, you will find at least one person who unselfishly supports you once they realie how determined you are, but don’t expect it. While you are on that course, practice learning how to politely ignore nay-sayers.

That being said, if you have a wife and/or kids, you CAN’T take off and do what you want, regardless if you are convinced you can achieve it. When you take on a family, you accept that everything you do affects them, as well. That includes everything from ignoring your relationships with them, to tapping into the family’s financial resources.

You asked how we developed that courage. For me (and before I had a family of my own with a husband and two children), it was that their negativity was absolutely killing me. Every contrary comment was like another nail in my coffin lid. I was withering away and dying inside. I couldn’t deal with those people any more, nor did I deserve to live like that. I did everything I could to feel the warmth of the sun on my face, only to be yanked back and caged by who they thought I was. I became extremely determined to escape, and that’s exactly what I did. I left them. I left the first one when I was 9 years old. Every time I escaped another one, my life improved once it was under my control, and so did my confidence levels.

jazmina88's avatar

We are all meant to be special, with our own destiny!! You have to stand up for your beliefs, nobody else will stand up for you, in the end.

March to the beat of your own special drummer.

believe in YOU

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I think was raised to be that way. I wasn’t baptised because my mother wanted me to choose. I had to figure out my own problems a lot and almost always I had no idea what I was doing, usually the opposite of what most people were doing.
Keeping going on with what your doing. Think how happy you’ll be when it works out. I think people respect and admire confidence.So, imagine how impressed your friends will be when it works.

12_func_multi_tool's avatar

Aren’t there so many waves in the oceans as attributes in ones own personality plus all things normal to rebel against. A true revolution, a cause, an obsession takes on it’s own life.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

Yes, and I get a lot of people bashing me here for it. If your personal decisions are historically better than that of the crowd you should be an independent thinker. If your personal decisions are historically worse than that of the crowd you should be a sheep.

Ltryptophan's avatar

You get one shot at this. Right now you are likely wasting some of it if you have anything in common with your standard westerner. Stop wasting your time doing things you don’t want, and start figuring out how you are going to successfully do what you do want. Then put everything you got on that direction. But beware, it’s the journey. It really is the journey.

Ranimi23's avatar

Hey everyone, I read your responses – you are all AMAZING. I have a great big idea about internet company I want to establish. I am dreaming about it for 5 years. Since I finished my studies as a student I dream to go independent and not to continue to do excellent work for others. Do something of my own, my name will appear there and gets the credit.

Yes, it is very easy to work with others and receive a salary at the end of the month without worries. But I want to do MORE than that, have me remark in the world. I always dreamed of something of my own. If I do not do it now, then when? When I marry and have children and every decision will affect their life as well? When can I take such big risks if not now?

Everyone tells me it is dangerous. Although I will not go into financial debt, but I’ll have to quit my current job and leave my own. Set up a company from scratch. I read lots of books on the subject, I questioned everything problem I may have and made a business plan. I think I’m ready to go. I can always get back and work in another company as I’m today. I know I’m very good at my profession.

The worst thing could happen – It will WORK and SUCCEED.

Jeruba's avatar

Anything worth having is worth taking a risk for.

mollypop51797's avatar

Yikes! I just realized that I wrote “And people‚Äôs negative opinions should have anything to do with that”... what I really meant was “And people’s negative opinions shouldn’t have anything to do with that”.

Ranimi23's avatar

@mollypop51797 , don’t worry! I understood you missed that word :-)

CyanoticWasp's avatar

It’s not always a case of “reveling” in that; it’s damn hard work to be oneself sometimes, rather than to just “go with the flow” and conform. I do it anyway, because I can’t be anyone other than who I am—and someone has to be me (unfortunately, sometimes).

According to some of the determinists on the site, I have no choice in the matter, anyway.

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