Social Question

partyparty's avatar

How do you deal with selfish people?

Asked by partyparty (9139points) March 23rd, 2010

Many people in this world can only see themselves and their problems.
People will push in when you are queuing, push in to you when in a shopping centre, pull out of side streets when you are driving along a road.
How do you deal with it? Do you just ignore it? Do you retaliate? What do you do?
Are we living in a selfish world?

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29 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It helps to think that most people are not so bad ;)

Cruiser's avatar

It all depends on how well I know them. Selfish random people I run in to I ignore…don’t even give it a second thought as that is part of life. If it is a co-worker, friend or loved one acting selfish…I will call them out on it and suggest a different course of behavior or steal some of the cookies they are not willing to share when they are not looking.

ucme's avatar

It’s funny how many opera singers seem to be quite selfish.I mean it’s all me me me me me me meeeee with them.Or at least that’s the way it sounds to me.

BhacSsylan's avatar

If you want to see selfish people all around you, you will. If you chose a brighter outlook, it will looks better. Simple as that. You cannot say “we live in a selfish world” because you have some bad experiences in driving to the grocery store. Are many people? Sure, but not everyone, and most people are more considerate then you think. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”. (Shakespear, though I could have sworn something similar was in paradise lost somewhere).

Oh, and going sound angry at the world all the time tends to make one look less nice as well, and so people are less inclined to be nice. Vicious cycle, really.

Trillian's avatar

Common courtesy is something that I no longer expect from people. That way I’m not disappointed. Stupid stuff happens so often during the day that I’ve just developed a filter. I can’t let it ruin my day.
Also, I can be confrontational if I feel like I need to. I find that maintaining a calm tone of voice disarms people, So I say things like: “Are you always this rude to people or am I special?” And; “I prefer not to have your little one pulling on my leg, would you mind keeping him near you?”
On the road, well, I don’t even bother with the bird. THe last time I was confrontational a woman pulled out into the left lane where I was driving with my SO a couple years ago. She crossed the right lane into the left and never looked. We were doing about 60 and had to swerve to avoid a collision. We followed her into a gas station. She was still oblivious and on a cell phone. She had the nerve to smile at me. I said “Bitch, don’t smile at me.” She got her feelings hurt and actually quivered her lip like she was going to cry. She asked, in a very tremulous voice; “What’s wrong with a smile?” like she was going to cry. At that point I decided that words would be useless, so I got back in the car and we just drove away.
Dumb girl.

stratman37's avatar

When some A-hole tries to horn in on my spot in line, I DO speak up. The NERVE of these people! It’s mostly black kids (NOT being racist!) who do it. It’s like they assume you’re not gonna say anything about it. If only it was legal to slap someone for being stupid, my hand would be sore…

wonderingwhy's avatar

Everyone is selfish in one way or another; for the most part I ignore it because I don’t really care. The actions are usually so trivial getting bothered by it would be senseless. But then when something does get to me I’ll say something about it, particularly if it’s someone I’m likely to have to deal with again.

Personally, there’re two lines in this I see as needing to be addressed. One, people need thicker skins. Two, people should be considerate by default and called on it when they’re not.

partyparty's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille That really is a lovely philosophy, but don’t you sometimes think you are being taken advantage of by your good nature?
@Cruiser Save a cookie for me LOLL
@ucme La la la la la… :-)
@Trillian But why should we have to accept selfish behaviour… just because it has become the norm, doesn’t mean it is acceptable. What do you think>

talljasperman's avatar

Stop associating with them…

Trillian's avatar

@partyparty I agree that it is not acceptable behaviour. But I’ve been saying that all along and one cannot stop the tide rushing in. All you have to do is watch tv on any given night. People behaving badly seems to be all the rage. Idiots in courtrooms mouthing back to the judge, 82 year old women forcing police to either taze them or allow them to walk out into traffic, old man wiggin out and screaming at the police, throwing the ticket on the ground for Pete’s sake. People who just meet kissing like they’re lovers on these ridiculous dating shows. And none of them can put a sentence together. Our priorities as a society have become so centered on personal, instant gratification that at this point the only thing that will change it will probably be some catastrophic event.
It is a theory of mine that the personal car figures into the equation. It cuts us off from the outside world. We’re wrapped in a cocoon where we have the environment to our personal taste: Music, temperature, amount of light let in, seat adjusted. And we are trying to get where we want to go. Everybody else just needs to get out of the way. Is it like this in countries where more people use mass transportation? Or walk or ride bicycles? I don’t know for sure, but it seems that societies like that have more human contact and as a consequence are more aware of and mindful of how their actions impact others.
We are a nation of selfish idiots and we feel entitled to having everything fast. We get impatient if there is any type of delay. Blame the media. Blame capitalism nad the incessant need to keep coming out with more and more products that we don’t need to buy.
Gaaaahhhh! I can’t let myself think about this!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@partyparty -I rarely let that happen.I am not above body slamming someone ;)

Your_Majesty's avatar

I simply ignore them as long as they haven’t exploited my privacy. If they go through the border,then I’ll do the same thing toward them.

CMaz's avatar

“How do you deal with selfish people?”

By staying focused. Generally they are only “selfish” if you allow them to be or let them get to you.

josie's avatar

Assuming that there are always rude people, and that their presence is therefore normal, what healthy thing is there to do but to do your own best and not worry about it. Unless they take something from me, or threaten me, or something else unusual or inappropriate, what’s the big deal? If I beat them up, I will probably wind up in jail for no good reason.

Just_Justine's avatar

I was thinking about this story, the other day. It was so odd and I think of it often. I live in a city where this happens all day of course. I travelled years ago in my car some 14 hours drive to go and visit my parents, who lived in a desert area. There is a smaller city close to their area. Now I recall entering this city and people were just so different. I had men in cars “tip” their hats to me??? People waited, smiled at you. There was such a courtesy and caring, not only on the road and the trip but the town my parents lived in.

years later, we had a young lady come and work with us on a project in my city. She was from that city I spoke of. She was a wonderful person and everybody loved her. But she became thinner and thinner and more miserable.

I asked her, of course what was troubling her. She said she wanted to go back home, she couldn’t work here any more. She had never met so many selfish, self centred, ambition driven hard nose people in her life. Sadly she left. It did make me think, what kind of a world am I in? Have I underestimated the power of different cities? Is there such a thing going on in different cities. I often think and wonder, how much of my own city has rubbed off on me.

CMaz's avatar

“How do you deal with selfish people?”

How about with lobster and clams?

Trillian's avatar

@Just_Justine Interesting speculation. I wonder if sometime a study could be or has been done?

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I deal with it by not spending any time worrying about the dickish behavior of strangers. That way you get to go home with a clear conscience while the other guy still has to deal with being a dick which I imagine is exhausting.

partyparty's avatar

@Doctor_D Yes, but most times they have exploited our privacy. We are going about our tasks, minding our own business, when suddenly out of nowhere someone will do something like push in front of you in a queue etc, and the sad thing about it is, they don’t even know they are being offensive. It seems as though it is second nature to them, but it is not acceptable to me. Do they care? I don’t think so.
@Just_Justine So was this city in a less populated area? Agricultural? Poor girl, it must have been absolute hell for her.
@BhacSsylan I suppose a brighter outlook may make you feel predisposed to letting people get away with their selfish behaviour, but it still doesn’t make it acceptable. What do you think and how do you deal with it?

Just_Justine's avatar

@partyparty It is hard to explain, it is part of South Africa called the “orange free state”. I think in a lot of ways they sort of “lagged behind. I don’t know if you get that in the USA?. She came from a relatively large city, which was surrounded by farm lands. I think farm lands are generally different, as their lifestyles are different. Perhaps cities are sort of a bottleneck of overpopulation and subsequent issues with that. But “very” interestingly, the very small town and I am talking “small” where my parents lived, produced two of the most horrific murder perpetrators (in content) as we have plenty of murders here, but it was just how it happened that was so grotesque. Well it was attempted murder, as she survived. A very shocking unusual type of attack. But much good came of it. I went a bit off track there loll. But those are criminals not selfish people as in behaviour in cities.

meagan's avatar

I really don’t deal with them at all. I’m a very giving person, so I don’t get along with these people. I’ve given many people the boot out of my life because of this.

wundayatta's avatar

Usually I haul out my Smith & Wesson Model 500 .50-Cal. Magnum and just blast away. They generally aren’t so selfish after that. But just in case, I keep an RPG in the pickup.

lonelydragon's avatar

@wundayatta ROTFL

I usually try to ignore the selfish people and spend as little time around them as possible. Trying to engage them in rational conversation is useless, because they’re too self-focused to consider another perspective.

YARNLADY's avatar

I use my Power of Ignore and walk away.

Trillian's avatar

@ChazMaz Funny. I just got that. What a funny man. Look at the funny man, kids!

partyparty's avatar

@ChazMaz LOLL thanks for your humour
@YARNLADY Good for youm but aren’t you tempted to retaliate sometimes?
@wundayatta Wow… remind me never to make you angry LOLL
@meagan Well done for yuu having this attitude

YARNLADY's avatar

@partyparty Never. Why would I be tempted to be as low as someone like that?

Silhouette's avatar

I ~sigh~ and ask “Selfish much?” I’m getting older and every now and then I catch myself shaking my head and muttering “When did people get so selfish?”

partyparty's avatar

@Silhouette Yes it seems to be the norm to be selfish these days doesn’t it? Perhaps it is our age… but I don’t think so. It costs nothing to be giving and sharing. Well that’s how I see things.

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