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OpryLeigh's avatar

How much do you care about what your fellow jellies think about you?

Asked by OpryLeigh (25265points) March 25th, 2010

I often hear the question “how much do you care what others think of you?” but when asked this question I usually think about the people I encounter in person. Of course I care what people in general think of me, not to the point where I have sleepless nights over it but I do make the effort to be polite and a decent human being so that people will get a good impression of me. However, there are times when I care more about how I come across to my fellow jellies. I think this is because, on a site where there are a lot of opinions flying around, it could be easy to offend people and so I try to make a conscious effort to get my point across without causing offence. Another reason I care so much is because Fluther is one of my escapes from “the real world” and so I don’t want to alienate the people that also use this place as an escape.

Anyway, how much do you care about other jellies opinion of you? Would you say you care more, less or about the same for the opinions of jellies than those of the people you meet in the flesh? Have you ever worried about a disagreement you may have had here on Fluther?

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30 Answers

Sophief's avatar

I think i care about what people in my Fluther think of me. I don’t try to be something I am not. I say things how I see them.

I don’t care what the others think because they are not all that important to me, and are unable to accept anything but their own opinions.

If I ever say anything that makes me think, should I have said that ( to those in my Fluther) then that does play on my mind.

mrentropy's avatar

I worry because I have a need to be loved.

MacBean's avatar

I care enough that I try not to be an asshole. But if someone still thinks I am, I’m not usually all that bothered. There are a few people here whose opinions genuinely matter to me, though, and I would be upset if they thought poorly of me.

partyparty's avatar

I am a naturally personable individual (well I like to think so). I wouldn’t intentionally say something that would upset or offend anyone, be they friends, family or fellow flutherers.

Just_Justine's avatar

With some jellies I certainly do care. I have a lot of jellies I respect. One particular jelly I think is one of the most awesome people I have ever met. I wish I could meet her in real life. I don’t want to embarrass her by posting her name here! But yes I do, because lot’s of jellies here have good intentions. Some don’t so they can fly off. I think its a bit like life, you meet great people and people you don’t care much for. But all in all I would hate to think I have hurt, or been rude to any jelly as I do at times come across as a battle axe I am told?

galileogirl's avatar

Not one whit! Usually the jellies who make personal comments about me are negative and that happens when they cannot make intelligent replies to my posts. Anybody who sees you in such limited way cannot know who you really are.

IBERnineD's avatar

I’m not sure I really care. I try be myself in all aspects, so that includes on here. If people like me, fantastic! If they don’t, it’s not like I have to see them everyday, and everyone here for the most part has pretty good etiquette, so I don’t believe they would say anything horrible about me. Well at least on here :)

davidbetterman's avatar

I bend over backwards to please everyone…

wilma's avatar

I care what people here think of me. I care more about what people who I have to interact with in my “face to face” world think, because, lets face it, they are in my face.
I have found some folks here to be kind of rude, but for the most part I think they are pretty considerate.
There are some Flutherites who I have come to have a great deal of respect for.
and a couple whom I have developed a crush on

galileogirl's avatar

I’m really not trying to pick on anyone, this is a serious question. Why is it fantastic if a virtual stranger says something nice about you? Or why it is bad if someone is angry and unhappy enough to say something horrible?

MacBean's avatar

@galileogirl I assume it’s for the same reasons that apply to people you deal with face-to-face. It’s nice to be liked, understood, appreciated, &c. It’s not quite so nice to be bitched at/about.

Just_Justine's avatar

@wilma they should consider themselves honoured :)

Just_Justine's avatar

@mrentropy I love you! in a cyberistic way of course!

Bluefreedom's avatar

I’d like to think the other Jellies here see me in a good light and think I’m a decent person. I hold those views with the Flutherites I know and have associated with and I think they’re very personable, nice, and friendly people.

galileogirl's avatar

@MacBean I hope I am not an exception but I never give gratuitous praise or insults to people I don’t know. I have to also say that I receive a lot of unsolicited compliments and few insults. So far this year I have only had one when I appropriated an iPod and was called an ugly mean old lady. Icouldn’t argue any of that from his perspective. Old-yes. ugly-compared to a 17yo, mean-I did send him to student court. At least I’m a lady.

Coloma's avatar

I’m still new here and have yet to build any relationships for good or bad, beyond the most benign communications.

Although ‘relationship’ is not the correct word as I do not believe that online relationships are true relationships.

I’d have to say that while I consider myself a very nice individual, possessed of high integrity I could give a whit what others think. It’s all fantasy relating, and while I would never deliberately hurt another, I can take or leave any online situation without a backwards glance.

Just_Justine's avatar

@galileogirl well you do not insult people outright. Which is a good thing. However you did imply one of my posts was a “story” I had fabricated. It was a hurtful topic for me, and it was something I needed to ascertain was it the rantings of my mother with dementia or was it real/. Having no family left to speak of, bar my son, I wanted to get to the truth. I kind of felt from then on that your comments were less valid to me. I also felt you did not think it through before answering.

Exhausted's avatar

I feel that when a question is asked, they want my opinion. I don’t have to justify my opinion b/c that’s what it is, an opinion. I don’t challange other jellies’ opinions b/c they have a right to their opinion, just like I do. If someone challanges my opinion, I respond if I can do so without starting a controversy, otherwise, I choose not to comment. I do have to admit that while typing my opinions, I have stopped to think, what kind of image of myself am I revealing with this comment and is that who I want to be perceived as? Other than that, I don’t give much thought about what others think of what I say on here.

josie's avatar

It’s nicer to be liked than to be disliked. People on Fluther are a little jumpy about certain topics or opinions, and I have gotten on the wrong side of the “collective” dogma more than once. Can’t say that I do not care, because I do, but what else can one do except drop out, and what fun is that? I’ll take my lumps and hope I grow on people.

PacificToast's avatar

I like to be decent so that I have respect of others, but I don’t particularly care what fellow jellies think. Everyone has an opinion. This is the place you can voice it. I don’t care about being judged in an open forum setting like this as long as I’m true to myself.

faye's avatar

Sure, I care. I want to be able to come back again and again.

Violet's avatar

Only only care what my jelly friends think of me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

People on fluther are just like people outside fluther – some of them I do care about and some I don’t – I don’t want to be read the wrong way, sometimes. And @Just_Justine you’re totally talking about me, aren’t you? I knew it! (it’s okay if it’s not about me, ~)

galileogirl's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yes it is about you, @Just_Justine used my name just for cover. I believe what I believe. If I am wrong what does it matter to her. By pressing the issue, berating me and trying to change my viewpoint madr me even more suspicious about who she was trying to convince. If someone doesn’t matter you don’t make them matter.

YARNLADY's avatar

I try not to mind too much, but I feel bad when I know fellow jellies are saying things about me behind my back that aren’t true. I have run across some things occasionally on tumblr that I try to just ignore.

augustlan's avatar

I care, just as much as I care about what people in the ‘real world’ think of me. I do not, in any way, alter my personality or my opinions here or there, though. I’m a ‘what-you-see-is-what-you-get’ kind of person, but I do hope that others have a good opinion of me.

slick44's avatar

I care, but i am me, and thats all i’ll ever be. so you can take me or leave me.:)

Exhausted's avatar

I went back and reread the commentary on this question and realize that I am new to fluther and have not developed a relationship with the people that I routinely see commenting to the questions in my fluther. I was looking for an unabiased answer to a question when I found fluther. Sometimes I have issues that are hard to work through because I am too close to the problem and need reasoning from someone that is not involved in anyway, so I know their answers are not influenced by their connection to the issue. I suppose if I continue to use fluther to work through my issues I will become more and more familiar with my fellow jellies and understand them and will value them as individuals and not just an unabias source of opinions. At that point, I will care more about how I construct my responses because I will KNOW how that certain comments will affect someone else due to the details I know about them

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