Social Question

Just_Justine's avatar

Have you ever been stalked before or harassed?

Asked by Just_Justine (6486points) March 27th, 2010

I don’t know too much about the subject but I have had throughout my life various forms of stalking I did not find too threatening, apart from one incident when I had to go away for a few months. Mostly the type of stalking was “parked out side my apartment under a tree kind” or just simply the person would not leave me alone.
There are serious cases of stalking of course that go beyond what I have written above and are very dangerous. Someone’s comment got me thinking about it. So anyway that has not happened to me in a long while thank goodness.
But lately I am having prank calls on my cell phone, so I have changed my number. I just have a low tolerance to anything like that. Has any one else had this happen? From serious stalking where they felt threatened to someone calling you and using your name so obviously they know who you are but you don’t know who they are. What would you do about it?

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31 Answers

whyigottajoin's avatar

I’ve had that happen to me before.. Someone calling me, knowing my name but I had no idea who they were. It didn’t happen again so I didn’t worry about it much.
I guess when you actually feel threatened and know who that person is, you could get a restraining oder, right?

Just_Justine's avatar

@whyigottajoin yeah I would, but it has caller ID hidden.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

stalking is and an overused term, nothing hurts worse then when you see someone who you thought was a good person. You try to talk to her but since she considers you unworthy she doesnt wish to speak to you anymore. Then accuse you of stalking her when you never even seen her in more than one place. Then you are villanized just because you had feeling for someone. It destroyes a man.

neverawake's avatar

yeah….by candy.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

you may have a legit stalker though, im not judging you

Just_Justine's avatar

@Mikelbf2000 I might have used the term a bit loosely, but I also felt in the past when I told a guy it was over, it was. You know parking in a street outside my flat is just bordering on stalkerish behaviour. But that in itself is a good question, I mean what would be the criteria for legit stalking you know. I am not sure what the phone call thing is about though, its more about harassment if you ask me. I don’t know the person.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

well she never told me to leave her alone she was a fake persone and was always nice to me but in reality hated me. it destroyed me

Just_Justine's avatar

@Mikelbf2000 the person I considered a really “bad” stalker, stole my phone book phoned all my friends, made friends with some of my friends, without me knowing, it was horrendous really. I met her at work, and she was dismissed because she was also phoning my clients and saying odd things to them. I never had any relationship with her either. But that is sort of off topic as it’s old news.

Yours sounds more like an issue of closure. That she did not give that to you?

Mikelbf2000's avatar

@Just_Justine it is an issue of closure. she denied me that closure. I don’t want her in my life and I don’t her anywhere near me. Life is better without her ruining it. I am sorry though. I reallly dont want to get in depth with this situation because i literally burst into tears over it. You sound like you do have a stalker though.. I asked a new question too justine, i would love you insight on it as well :)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Yes,I have.The worst was being followed when I would go out at night and him waiting for me at my house.
If I were you,I’d change my number if you can’t find out who it is.I had a friend take care of my problem.

escapedone7's avatar

Yes. It was a nightmare. Psychological warfare on his part. He robbed me of my peace. It was extremely distressing and terrifying. I changed my number 3 times and moved twice

I still hide.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I had a woman stalk me many years ago, but I had forgotten about it until I saw your comments about the phone stalker. That was before caller ID and the phone tracing was pretty primitive. She would call at all hours all the time and just start talking if it was me on the phone or hangup if my G/F answered. She knew where I worked and would occassionally call there and she knew my schedule. I was young and full of myself and didn’t put too much thought into it other than get annoyed when the phone rang at night. I had the phone company put a trace on the line, but before that worked she got busted for stalking someone else.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille What did the friend do? Drop off some of your gourmet meatloaf?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe -Lol! He didn’t have to go that far!
He never told me what he said,just that he “talked” to him.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Glad it worked out. I never could understand the logic of forcing someone to care for another person. It’s like pushing a rope.

MorenoMelissa1's avatar

I have been stalked before by an 80 year old man. What you have to do is be firm and direct with people like this. Let them no that “Leave me alone” means what it says. “Leave me alone”.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

This is wrong on several levels, but does anyone else find a little humor in an 80 year old stalker?

talljasperman's avatar

I’ve been stalked and harrased….I hide in my apartment (with the blinds drawn) until they give up.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

who would stalk me lol. I have ways of deterring people.

nebule's avatar

yes I have…by a dirty old man and a dodgy Greek bloke :-)

Mikelbf2000's avatar

hey!!! im half Greek

nebule's avatar

but you’re not the dodgy greek bloke ;-)

starshine's avatar

When I was 13, this middle-school baseball team followed me around a hotel calling me pumpkin. they even waited outside a bathroom for me to come out. They knocked on y door and ran away, they followed my sister and I to the pool. They were EVERYWHERE.
it was so creepy at the time, but funny now. A pack of thirteen and fourteen year olds following me around. Confidence boost? Yes.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

In real life and also online, yeah and it ruins your wanting to be really open, sharing and giving people the benefit of a doubt.

liminal's avatar

Yes. It scared me. It started off with him being interested in me. I was not interested in him and was clear on this matter. He started tracking and harassing me. I never accepted anything he sent me and ignored him. He started to get angry and threatening. He began tracking people down that I knew. When one of my friends found out that it wasn’t something I wanted he said “I will take care of it.” I saw stalker guy in public once after that, he immediately left the area. My friend never said how he made that happen. I am simply glad he did :)

It was at a time when police said things such as “until he actually attempts something there is nothing we can do.” It is probably one of the most vulnerable and scary things I have ever experienced. Change as much information about yourself as possible, journal every encounter, and inform authorities, they tend to be more responsive now days.

Violet's avatar

I was stalked by a psycho ex-boyfriend for a long time. He would call me 24–7, over and over, non-stop, and leave threatening messages. The creepiest part was that he stalked me at my house. I was so paranoid all the time, and any little noise I heard, I thought it was him.
The police got involved many times. He actually stopped before I got the restraining order, because my dad called him mom and told her what he was going to do to her son, next time he came to our house.
I ended up changing my number, and now I carry pepper spray.

Mikelbf2000's avatar

scary stories unfortunatley i have found out that alot of women will make you seem like a stalker just to get rid of ya, not saying any of you did that.

snowberry's avatar

If it’s calls to my phone, I’ve found it helpful to buy a whistle (go to a sports store and ask). When the scuz ball calls, I blow it, HARD and long into his ear. It only takes once.

mollypop51797's avatar

Speaking of phones, what about the *67 number. No caller ID there…

Siren's avatar

I have been harassed before but thankfully never stalked. Has anyone tried stalking the stalker? Sometimes that might turn the person off completely, and you get some satisfaction in irritating them back.

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