Social Question

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Why am I sad after winning my first taekwondo tournament?

Asked by nailpolishfanatic (6617points) March 27th, 2010

Today was the first taekwondo Icelandic championship tournament since I began training taekwondo. I won gold and our team was named Icelandic champions:), But I just feel like people do not noticde me or anything and that makes me really sad. Like today when some boys I think are really cute won there game I would walk over to them and congratulate them, but no one did that to me and no one really talked to me…I think its because they think I am ugly, but I don’t know iam just very sad right now:( I just wanna cry

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43 Answers

rpm_pseud0name's avatar

Give them all a gold medal grade butt kickin’.

whyigottajoin's avatar

Hey hey, don’t cry, I’m sure there was some misunderstanding! I don’t know what you look like but I’m sure your not ugly!!! Congrats on your victory, and boys are geeks anyway, I’m sure they didn’t know they’d hurt your feelings by not congratulating.

SABOTEUR's avatar

Congratulations on your first win!
Keep up the good work.

btw…don’t sweat the small stuff.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@rpmpseudonym , I am not that kind of person….@whyigottajoin, Maybe but it really hurts me:(:(:( And thank you:/

PacificToast's avatar

Awww, those people probably didn’t know it was your first tournament and that a congratulatory compliment would have pleased you. Don’t cry, listen to “My Favorite Things” from Sound of Music and sing along.

talljasperman's avatar

boys are not to bright…. don’t worry about them….some of them will grow up into decent men…then they will be a calling… at least Congrats on winning

escapedone7's avatar

They are probably thinking “Oh no! It’s a girl that can kick my butt!”

Ha ha. Who knows what they are thinking. Sometimes boys feel shy or intimidated too, just like girls.

Well congratulations. I am very proud of you!

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@PacificToast , they did….I mean they are with me in the team…and then one boy gave his email to one girl who likes him in FRONT of me!!!!:(:(:(

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I am starting to think that its because I am black ( white people don’t be offended I AM JUST SAYING), I am the only black person there…

PacificToast's avatar

I don’t know the black population of Iceland, but now with this information I say, perhaps it’s an act of prejudice and they just don’t know it.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@PacificToast , I don’t understand:(

whyigottajoin's avatar

@Thesexier Maby they are being judgemental about you and they aren’t even aware of it, PT means.

PacificToast's avatar

@whyigottajoin Thank you, that’s exactly what I meant.
@Thesexier I suggest that you continue to be respectable/polite and nice to them all in hopes that you may have friendship someday.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Congratulations. Yours would seem to be the greater feat.

liminal's avatar

Do they know you won the tournament?

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@whyigottajoin , ok thank you…
@PacificToast , I will try…

snowberry's avatar

Sweetie, it’s easy to say, “Don’t take it to heart”, but truly, you are not always going to have these problems. Racism or not, you can’t make them talk to you. I know you’re lonely, and sad, but it’s possible that you are just a little higher quality than these guys.

Hang in there, do well in school, and create a life you love, one that inspires you! I used to be in your shoes, (always on the outside looking in). I can tell you from experience, when you become comfortable in your own skin, and love people for who they are without expecting anything back, folks will gravitate toward you.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@liminal , yes they know and then afterwards the team took some photos together and I had a gold medal around my neck… but the women mostly did and some girl who is sort of my friend, but none of the boys except for my trainer who hugged me:)

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@snowberry , thank you….Sometimes I do try to ignore the people who are racist or donĂ°t like me for who I am , but like now it just hurt me too much for me to ignore it.

snowberry's avatar

Yup. I know how that feels. But the truth is, you don’t know EXACTLY why they ignored you. You just know they did. Do you have any real friends?

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

My family, especially my mom…

snowberry's avatar

Well, that’s more than nothing. There are folks who don’t even have that. (Trying to put a happy face on it for you)

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

But sometimes even when I am sad I try to put on a happy face and no one would really notice iam sad.

poisonedantidote's avatar

sounds like a lack of recognition to me. i used to do martial arts so i know the feeling, you train hard, practice your katas get in to shape and go for the tournament, and when you win you realize there is no big prize and glory and now its just back to training again. you have climbed everest and now at the top you realize its just a big rock.

my advice, start looking forwards to the next tournament and focus on training and dont let it slide. it sucks much much more to waste your training than to win and not get recognition. from where im sitting i can see my black belt, diplomas and a few medals and cups, i can tell you from experience, they dont go well with my big candy loving stomach. dont let this temporary feeling defeat you.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@poisonedantidote , hahah congratulation with when you used to train:) No I wont stop…training and I ‘ll even do my best:)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Congratulations on your gold medal!I wish I had your skills :)) You should also be proud that you showed excellent manners and sportsmanship by congratulating others :)

nebule's avatar

I know exactly how you feel… when people don’t recognise your achievements it’s awful well done though… you are great!!! That’s no mean feat xx Crack open the bolly!!

mrrich724's avatar

People are there for karate. . . so maybe they aren’t noticing you b/c they are focused on the whole purpose of going there. . .

rpm_pseud0name's avatar

Possible source of sadness. Do you like taekwondo? Is this something YOU want to do? A possible reason for this sadness could be that it may not have been you’re accomplishment. Maybe your friends or parents wanted you to do this & so, when you won, it’s not really your accomplishment, it was theirs. Succeeding in something you chose to do, is a great feeling. Doing it for yourself is what matters. Don’t do taekwondo just to impress others or because everyone else is doing it. There is no reason to be sad at winning an event you chose to enter. EDIT- I don’t see taekwondo in your hobbies list in your profile. Think we found out why your sad… you don’t like taekwondo.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I entered taekwondo because we got like a post in the mail box, that who ever wanted to try could go and try…i went and I liked it so I continued

rpm_pseud0name's avatar

Well, I would say, if winning a tournament gives no satisfaction, your in the wrong place. It may have felt right at the time because it was new & exciteing. Step back & take a look at it from a distance. Do you really want to continue doing this, knowing it will make you sad after each victory?

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

No I think the sadness was just today:), I ‘ll get over it

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I’m sorry they didn’t notice your accomplishment. That sucks. I told my two sons about your victory and they both opened their eyes wide. My 14 year old said “Wow, a real Gold Medal?”, and my 20 year old said “That’s pretty awesome to win her first tournament!. She’s a girl?” I laughed and said, “Yeah, she’s a girl” hahahaha

Although those other kids were jerks, you might want to consider that your adrenalin and blood sugar might be low after your fight. You may be feeling sadder than you would normally.

And also, keep in mind that young men athletes are very self centered and egotistical. I certainly was. It’s all about them being king of the universe, and your accomplishment may not have actually even registered in their brains. Sorry bout that. Us guys can be pretty insensitive and egotistical sometimes. Just keep your discipline for you to be your best. Your due respect will come soon enough. And those boys will be very envious of you in the near future.


nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies , and everyone else, that made me feel really good:) And hahaha about your 20’ year old who was asking if I were a girl lolz

Bluefreedom's avatar

Your accomplishments and your win are certainly something to be very proud of. Hold your head high and realize that people will recognize your achievements even if that recognition doesn’t come right away. Best of luck to you in your martial arts studies and smile big because you’re good people. Congratulations on your first win!

mollypop51797's avatar

Well.. they didn’t notice your BIG WIN but we jellies did!! Don’t you just love coming back to your loving supportive Fluther community! Anyways.. I congratulate you every step of the way!! anyways.. maybe they are rude and you set your expectations too high. When they’re too high, you might become disappointed but if you lower them.. you’ll be pleased by people’s kindness and awareness to your accomplishments (when people like those happen to come your way)

neverawake's avatar

Something must be wrong with you.

snowberry's avatar

Minus points for neverawake. Were you trying to be funny? How insensitive can you get? Go somewhere else!

Response moderated
snowberry's avatar

@neverawake, “Something must be wrong with you.”

This girl is aching inside because someone rejected her, and you tell her there’s something WRONG WITH HER? If you were being serious, that’s a shame. Most of us Flutherites have a higher standard than that.

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