Social Question

joscketSeper's avatar

Are most Girls looking for Confident outgoing guys(i've never met one That likes quiet)?

Asked by joscketSeper (323points) March 28th, 2010

I’m in my early 30’s. From childhood to now. Going through school, i’ve never ever met a Girl that was even the least interested in me. I’m quiet.

Seems most Women are Outgoing and chatty themselves. so they look for the same. is that how it is?
Does it have to do with that biology thing where women look for guys who can protect them, so they see a shy quiet guy and think he’s not worth it.?

Even the quiet girls want outgoing loud guys.
I’ve experienced this
-at school
-at work
-in town.

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19 Answers

dpworkin's avatar

Well, you’re impotent, you can’t walk, you have Marfan’s syndrome, and there seem to be hosts of other things wrong with you, a new one each day. Maybe that explains it.

TheOnlyException's avatar

Personally I would never approach a guy. Thus I need the guy to approach me, thus they should be confident and outgoing enough to do so, so I guess that is the kind of guy I look for. He shouldn’t be full of himself though, arrogance is NEVER attractive. Just the right amount of self-esteem and humour will win me over :)

Likeradar's avatar

Plenty of women like quiet guys.
As a woman, I can say the loud guys are the first ones I notice, but not the ones I end up liking.
You’ve mentioned in other questions that you have what could be crippling social anxiety- that’s not being shy and quiet, and I imagine the level of anxiety you’ve described is a turn off to most women. Luckily though, if you get off the computer and seek professional help, as has been suggested many times, you may find that your anxiety is treatable. Then you might have better luck finding a nice girl who likes a nice shy guy.

mowens's avatar

I think you have accepted defeat. Psychologically, thats the worst thing you can do.

Also, if you open your mouth, the chances of a girl responding to your thoughts increase by a factor of 10.

gailcalled's avatar

@joscketSeper: Have you checked out Munchausen’s Syndrome?ünchausen_syndrome+munchausen+by+proxy&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=safari

aka “Hospital Hopper Syndrome.”

mcbealer's avatar

Personally, I like quietly confident guys. What that means is guys who…
– know who their true self is, and don’t find the need to hide it
– aren’t afraid to say “no,” and can do so without lying and/or sounding like an ass
– know what they want to contribute to this world and actively pursue that
– will stand up for those they love and lend guidance but not in an overbearing manner
– understand what priorities are, and have them straight
– aren’t easily angered and don’t resort to violence to prove their strength
– are capable of leadership and empathy
– would never tolerate or engage in racism or other types of discrimination including sexual orientation
– don’t equate success with Keeping with the Joneses
– haven’t bought into the whole macho macho man guns/sports/get plastered/drive the biggest baddest truck culture in order to validate their masculinity

Just_Justine's avatar

I like the person, some guys are chatty and they are great, some are more quiet and I like those too. I am not really one for a “type” of guy. Some guys just grab at your heart.

susanc's avatar

What “most girls” like is not relevant. No one gets together with
“most girls”. What you want is to get together with a particular girl who likes the particular person who is you.
You are asking us for rules. Rules don’t put you in a venue where you’ll find a person to care for. We know you’re scared, but you must leave the computer and enter the world.

rebbel's avatar

Apart from the “haven’t bought into the whole macho macho man guns/sports/get plastered/drive the biggest baddest truck culture in order to validate their masculinity”…., that’s me!

marinelife's avatar

I had a friend in high school who was very quiet and she always went for outgoing guys. Maybe the opposite is true,

mollypop51797's avatar

the quiet geeky nerds always end up to be the money makers don’t they? well some of them make it while the others join geek squad ;) jk

joscketSeper's avatar

well.. yeah but I’m not of those nerds with talent and intelligence. I’m just a nerd with hobbies.

Likeradar's avatar

@joscketSeper Find a female nerd with similar hobbies. And stop the pity party- it’s a huge turn off. Huge.

PhillyCheese's avatar

Loud confident guys have fun.
Quiet guys usually aren’t.

Why would a woman choose someone who has less fun over a man who always has a blast

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Girls like confident outgoing and loud guys the same way quiet guys aren’t really quiet.

Likeradar's avatar

@PhillyCheese My guy is fairly quiet, and he’s a lot of fun. I think you’re right about the confidence part though.

mcbealer's avatar

@rebbel ~ cool, very cool ;)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Confident? Yes
.Loud? No.

neverawake's avatar

Who the heck knows?

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