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Do you have any advice on moving out?

Asked by Ammolite (72points) March 29th, 2010

I’m in my 20s, and moving out for the first time with my loving Fiance. In fact, I’ve kept him waiting in our first apartment for two months now—procrastinating away time, because I’m frightened. It has been very selfish of me—he seriously worries that I may never come. I never thought I’d do that to him, but I’m falling apart.

It is not a rash decision; I had anxiously waited for several years for this opportunity to become a reality, and although I had a natural degree of fear, it’s nothing like I feel now. It’s like I’ve reverted back to the emotional maturity of a child, needing my Mommy, and being scared. It’s really pathetic, to be honest.

I feel like this move (2,500 miles away) will be a great opportunity for me to grow, and to create a life for us, away from daily familial influence. I love the weather there, we’ll get to create our own place, and it is far more affordable. We’ll get fun jobs, and start our “family”. It’s only fair that I should be able to do this. And hell, we’ve already lived there together for a month once, when his Mom died, and despite the circumstances, it felt so right and we grew as people.
But coming from a very traditional Italian family, they have put it in my mind for so long that physical nearness is all that really counts. And that frightens me…what if they’re right? What if I can’t handle being so far away? What if I just need a hug from my Mom? What if she gets sicker and dies while I’m gone, and I’m wasting valuable time with her?

But then I feel like staying here squanders me as a person, somehow. I’ve outgrown this home, and I need more space to grow. I need to be with my Fiance, I miss him terribly. And sometime in the future, we can always consider moving back if we have to. I can always live there for a few months, a few years, whatever I want.

Do you have any advice for me? I could really use it.

Many thanks-

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