What fortune was in your fortune cookie?

I open fortune cookies for the sole purpose of trying to find bad spelling or grammar mistakes, hopefully as a result a funny one.

Sometimes I would save the little slip of paper with a fortune for a while that I found interesting or hoped would come true. And, no, they never came true…

The cookie monster ate mine.

You broke my cookie!

I’ve noticed, lately, that “fortunes” like yours aren’t fortunes. They’re just statements. Statements you already know are true or not.

I got two over the past year and they read:
“You will overcome difficult times” which is always good to know
“You will become an accomplished writer” which is also spiffy.

“Your troubles will cease and fortune will smile upon you.”

Lucky Numbers – 13, 24, 36, 48, 5, 17

I never remember the message in the cookie. I do remember the great cuisine before the cookie.

“You fill find the answer to life itself.”

Lucky Number – 42

Insert generic fortune here :)

I still have it.

“Happier days are definitely ahead for you. Struggle has ended.”

Lucky numbers 45, 33, 54, 12, 30, 14

I once got one that said “This is a fortune cookie”

The most recent was, “Your charm is irrisistable”.

I call them statement cookies nowadays.

Here are some funny ones.

I won a lottery using the numbers on the back of one…

The best one I’ve ever received wasn’t really a fortune. it read “You are making history at this very moment”. I saved it for ages.

I once had one read “You should get in touch with your feminine side”. Well, OK, but what if I were a woman? That would kinda hit me wrong. I thought these things were supposed to gender-neutral!

Mine said ’‘The Saw is Family.’’

It’s all bs anyway haha.

I can’t remember mine, but we always ended the fortune with “in bed.”

@expialidocious Wasn’t that from How I Met Your Mother?

erichw, my high school teacher was the one who planted that silly idea in my head (weird, I know). I wasn’t aware it was from a movie, though. :)

Much older than that, y’all. 1970s, at least. I heard that one in grade school, as I’m sure the writers from How I Met Your Mother did. They’re probably around my age.

“The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground” 54,24,50,49,15,39 My most recent fortune

last night my boyfriends was “the man on top of the mountain did not fall there”. i thought it was funny. mine sucked and i dont even remember it.