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goootli's avatar

What are some silly things you used to believe as a child?

Asked by goootli (162points) April 3rd, 2010

I thought condoms were for if you needed the toilet half way through sex. I knew what sex was age 7 (about) but not why condoms where needed.

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58 Answers

anartist's avatar

That a little blue devil [sort of like the one on the wrapper of Underwood Deviled Ham] used to live in my grandmother’s garbage can.

Berserker's avatar

I used to think that if Jesus had business to attend to on Earth, he used to travel from Heaven to Earth in a flying saucer. Not entirely sure why.

I was also told that angels come to take the souls of the dearly departed up to Heaven, so I figured that by looking up in the sky, every now and then I may be able to spot flying coffins, but I never did.

Ah, the harsh realities of growing up and believing in nothing, haha.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Oh, I’m not even going to start with my lack of knowledge about sex.

No, I believed that there were murderers hiding in the darkened cellar, and turning the lights on would keep me safe from them (apparently they were afraid of me).

anartist's avatar

I didn’t know how the babies knew to wait to come out until after the mommy and daddy were married.

anartist's avatar

I was afraid of the framed Victorian print of a little child praying “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my sould to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” I used to sleep upside down in the bed with my feet sticking out to hide from the soul-taker.

oreo45's avatar

A family of monsters lived in my house, they slept when we were awake, and were awake wile my family slept.

ElleBear's avatar

-I thought swallowing watermelon seeds would make a plant in my stomach
-That babies were pooped out
-Santa Claus had a device that froze time
-That everyone else but me were robots

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

The “happily ever after” crap. Some people go thru some real tough situations in life and there isn’t much we can do to help them.

anartist's avatar

We lived in an old house with a foundation/basement of huge boulders. I believed that there were trolls or gnomes living inside the walls behind the stones.

J0E's avatar

That whichever way I was facing was north.

Vunessuh's avatar

Stuffed animals came to life and had tea parties when you weren’t home.

anartist's avatar

That I convinced my dad to buy certain stocks when I faked being passive on a Ouija board.

anartist's avatar

@oreo45 and @Vunessuh Movies have been made of your fantasies, like Monsters Inc and Toy Story

pathfinder's avatar

The mushroom witch call right one that i believed exist a mushroom call the left one.This was same of my hand write like left handed

oreo45's avatar

I thought if i got up in the middle of the night and went in to the living room, I would see them sitting around on the sofa.

gailcalled's avatar

That my parents were perfect and I was the flawed one.

Coloma's avatar

I thought the Easter Bunny was pink and about 10 feet tall…scared the crap out of me thinking about him hippity hopping along! haha

I also was extremly creeped out by the thought that ‘God’ knew everything I thought, said and did!

If EVER there was a means to control children..THAT does it! lol

Jack79's avatar

Sex is when a man pees on a woman. You can also do that with your clothes on.

An “embassy” is a girl who likes to lick other girls.

Children are born when some of the food that the mother has eaten (I was never clear on whether it had to be particular food) grew into a baby. God saw which women were married and wanted children, and made the food grow accordingly. That’s why He never made men pregnant. They were too busy with other things.

There was this lion living under my bed who’d grab my feet if I put them down. Somehow it left during daytime and couldn’t come out of the bed and simply eat me when I was asleep.

My grandparents also transformed into lions during the night – hence the roaring.

The spots you see on the moon are astronauts walking around.

Plenty more probably…

CodePinko's avatar

That healthcare was a right instead of a good.
That if we outlawed guns they would all magically disappear

Coloma's avatar


Um Jack?

Hows life for ya now?

Any bodies in your basement? lololol

CodePinko's avatar

That I had to go to school because my parents were aliens. When I left they would shed their human skins and breathe dryer lint.

-Stimpson J. Cat as Doctor Stupid.

MacBean's avatar

Santa Claus had a device that froze time

You mean he doesn’t!? D:

Cartman's avatar

That God existed

ucme's avatar

I genuinely believed that life in the “olden days” say anything before the 50’s, was lived in black & white.

anartist's avatar

@Coloma That was Harvey! Did he have a drink in his hand?

anartist's avatar

@ucme c’mon admit it. You just watched Pleasantville.

Coloma's avatar

@anartist Maybe that was it, saw ‘Harvey’ somewhere in my imoressionable toddlerhood. lol
I LOVE Pleasantvlle, just saw it for the 1st time recently!

thriftymaid's avatar

When I was very little, I thought the inside of our bodies was pound cake. I don’t know why but I did.Beat that!

Just_Justine's avatar

That if I didn’t clean my ears or belly button cauliflower would grow out of there. Just because my mom said so and she never lied!

anartist's avatar

@thriftymaid and I thought we were bags of blood with little doggy-treat-shaped bones and some stuff that looked like some pasta floating around in it.
@Just_Justine my mom told me a bird would perch on my tongue but that didn’t stop me from sticking it out.

DrBill's avatar

Snakes lived under my bed.

Chicken had teeth and would attack people

anartist's avatar

@DrBill chickens will attack people, especially children. But geese are worse. I was attacked by a goose who was bigger than I was.

Just_Justine's avatar

@anartist loll, I think somehow a bird on my tongue would have been better than a vegetable growing out of my ears!your mom sounds hilarious

squidcake's avatar

I pretty much had no knowledge of sex…

So after I saw Star Wars Episode I (the Phantom Menace) and Anakin’s mother explained that he didn’t have a father, I thought that women could just have babies by themselves and didn’t need anyone to “father” the child.

Imagine my mother trying to clear up this issue for me later…

anartist's avatar

@Just_Justine she was the absolute best—thanks

MacBean's avatar

@anartist Geese are jerks.

lloydbird's avatar

I’ve said this before, but..
That grown ups know what they are doing.

iphigeneia's avatar

That everybody has children when they grow up.
That all teenagers go out, get drunk and have sex.
That everybody is actually interested in what is printed in magazines.

That people these days don’t judge you because of what ethnicity you are.
That everyone can make it if they really try.
That my friends and I would be together forever.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

When I used to live in the village with my grandmother and grandfather, my mother’s brother’s son = I think he’s called nephew? He used to tell me not to eat fish head because then the head would grow down there….

Coloma's avatar

@anartist and @MacBean

I have an attack goose, yep, hes legendary in his stealth!

He warms up eventually and likes people but never, ever, challenge his authority! lol

anartist's avatar

@Coloma Stealthy? Well, she’s ahead of my goose enemy. That gal/gander really telegraphed! Didn’t help tho 3-yr old kids just don’t get it. All geese are Mother Goose.

Freedom_Issues's avatar

That babies happen because two people get married. And that’s all.

anartist's avatar

@Thesexier hahahahaha
BTW your mother’s brothers son is your cousin. Nephew would be your mother’s brother’s son’s son [whew!]
Where are you from? What is your native language?

MacBean's avatar

@anartist & @Thesexier: Your mother’s brother’s son’s son would be your first cousin once removed. A nephew is your own brother or sister’s son.

anartist's avatar

@MacBean oops. yah. Thanks. That once-removed stuff gets me crazy.

MacBean's avatar

@anartist: Sometimes it trips me up, too, and I do genealogy as a hobby.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@anartist , Oh yeah thanks my cousinxD I am from Zambia. My nativelanguage I would say its Silozi. We were under the british colonie, and the english is my second?
Hope you understand

anartist's avatar

@Thesexier does Silozi have an alphabet of its own or does it use another alphabet?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

“The policeman is your friend.”

Jack79's avatar

@anartist (off topic) Silozi is a Bantu language, similar to Swahili, and if I am not mistaken uses the Latin alphabet when written.

anartist's avatar

@Jack79 thanks for teaching me about something new

thriftymaid's avatar

I also thought there were little people inside the radio.

Jack79's avatar

Back to the original question:

I thought that people who die in movies really do die. Which made me wonder how come they persuade an actor to die just for the sake of a movie.
1. They wouldn’t be able to continue their career after that, what if they were good actors?
2. What if they got the scene all wrong and had to shoot it again?
3. How did they get paid once the movie was out?

They probably found actors with terminal illnesses or huge financial problems and made a contract to pay their families after the movie was made. I was old enough to understand “contract” and “royalties” but not old enough to figure out that there are also stuntmen (to die instead of the real actor of course).

anartist's avatar

@Jack79 Remember rumors about snuff flicks?

CodePinko's avatar

That government employees wish to be of assistance.

anartist's avatar

@CodePinko if you say you believed “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you”—don’t tell me you also believed that “your check is in the mail” —this sounds not like childhood beliefs but an old joke [the 3rd belief would probably get modded out so I’m not writing it]

gailcalled's avatar

One third belief is “My wife doesn’t understand me.”

Years ago we added a fourth one. We used to swim in deep, freezing Lake Placid. If the water temperature got to 69˚ we were thrilled. Some one would dive in, surface with an empurpled face and say, “Come on in. The water’s warm.” (We were able to use the scream test as a thermometer. The louder the scream, the colder the water.)

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