How do I get myself to feel again?

Ok well when I was little my family would call me a bitch and yell at me. My grandparents would hit me. It made me feel like I didn’t have any control so if they said or did something to me I would just sit down in a corner and cry. Now i’m 14 and they still do stuff like that but it’s like I pushed all my emotions down so nothing they or anyone else says effects me in the least. This past year my grandpa had a stroke, my family was all crying and all worried about him. While I was just sitting there. I couldn’t even fake cry. If someone says they care about me I don’t believe them. My boyfriend told me he cared about me, I told him I just didn’t believe him and he got so frustrated. What should I do?