Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

What have you done for me lately? How long does the halo effect last?

Asked by wundayatta (58596points) April 7th, 2010

In my experience, I’m only as good as what I did yesterday. If I don’t keep it up, people (family members, employers, friends) start forgetting my existence (metaphorically, not literally) fairly rapidly. I.e., they aren’t as happy to see me; they don’t remember much about me; and they aren’t nearly as interested as they were only a short while back.

Actually this time horizon changes depending on the group. For my family, it can last decades. For colleagues, it is only a few days or maybe as much as a month. For friends, it can be years, although it does become increasingly uncertain after each year passes with no contact. Online, it really is yesterday. Things happen so fast here, that if you don’t maintain a continuous presence, you might as well be last week’s news.

How long do you benefit from your reputation? Do you feel like you have to constantly do new things or people will forget you, or do you believe people will remember you for a long time, even if you have no interaction with them for years?

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22 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

The people that count remember me. ;)

Jude's avatar

Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty.

I’m with @lucyyouhavesomesplainingtodo, people (family and friends) who mean something to me remember..

ucme's avatar

Everyone who knows & loves me knows what i’m about.That ain’t going to change any time soon,no need.

stratman37's avatar

@jjmah Dang it, you beat me to the punch!

stratman37's avatar

and the longer you maintain a good reputation, the stronger it is.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I honestly don’t worry about my reputation that much. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t concern me. I simply act with integrity and let the chips fall where they may.

Coloma's avatar

What a way to live ( not live) lol

Nope…..managing others expectations of me is not something I do, not now, not ever.

My ‘reputation’ speaks for itself, no need to reinforce it.

CMaz's avatar

They always know I am around. Watching over them. Even when they are sleeping.

Cruiser's avatar

Your reputation is only as solid as your last good deed and one false move can erase it all as if it never happened.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I have a core group of friends that is going on 25yrs and though we’ve not seen each other regularly in the past decade, when we do get together then it’s as if we’ve not been apart and we absolutely love that feeling of security, trust and comfort. New friends get added here and there and we still bring up how lucky we all are to have the feeling of an invisible thread.

john65pennington's avatar

I paid my taxes, so the interstate you love to ride on, is safe from pot holes.

There, i did my part.

Berserker's avatar

I don’t care if people forget me, and anyways I have no reputation to keep or nothing to prove to a damn soul. In fact it’s probbaly best to forget me.
Besides, worrying about that stuff is too depressing, especially since you just can’t know what the future holds.
I worry about paying bills and getting homework done, but as for the rest, fuck it lol. I could die tomorrow.
As for whether or not people will remember me, I don’t know. Maybe. Depends on too much stuff.

WolfFang's avatar

People shouldn’t just judge on the “oh what have you done for me lately” kind of thing you were mentioning. Like people said, If they really are true friends, the ones that count will remember you for you being you. That’s the way me and my best friends are, it’s about being ourselves. If your worrying about keeping up a reputation, it’s not good because you’ll just become someone who always tries to please others in some way or another. It’s best to just not worry about a rep, at least in my way of thinking…

Coloma's avatar


I disagree with your statement.
Perhaps this is so in business but, to me, ‘reputation’ speaks of the whole of ones way of being, how they show up, the vast majority of the time.

I am known to be honest, of high integrity, and people can count on me to be genuine and forthright in my words and actions.

It’s nothing I have to work at, it just is the way I am.

People either walk their talk or they don’t…not too much middle ground.

If for some reason I fell from grace I expect my friends would be concerned because it would be so unlike me, rather than devalue me based on reputation alone.

Cruiser's avatar

@Coloma I see what you are saying but the true leaders who the followers follow whether a Senator, professional athlete, movie star, clergy, Tiger Woods or a dad….one slip up and you lose your spot on the pedestal and you are now simply human and fallible at that.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I remember the people who remember me for the natural person I am. I have long since felt the need to “impress” people. It’s so tiring.

WolfFang's avatar

@py_sue exactly. why even waste your time right?

escapedone7's avatar

I am the opposite. I always wished I had one of those flashy things like the men in black. What was that called? Neuralyzers? Yes I’d love neuralyze everyone so they forget I exist.

By the way I have not forgotten you.

wundayatta's avatar

@Cruiser I never thought I’d say these words but, I think you’re right.

Cruiser's avatar

@wundayatta I knew you would come around! ;)

nebule's avatar

Those who truly love me and there aren’t many do it unconditionally… and then the above question doesn’t count.

But for those who don’t love me is always trying to reinvent the wheel…it’s such a shame

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