Social Question

Pandora's avatar

In your opinion, what is most admirable thing to do when someone starts and argument and why?

Asked by Pandora (27709points) April 7th, 2010

1. Walk away. Its not worth your time or aggravation.
2. Stay and argue. Your not going to let someone get away with treating you like crap.
3. Listen till they run out of steam.
4. Any other options?

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14 Answers

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

It bears mentioning that arguments need not be a negative ad hominem experience.
An argument is merely a discussion of opposing viewpoints though arguments do get heated.

When it gets to the point that it’s a bitchfest, the only reasonable thing to do is leave.

thriftymaid's avatar

It depends. Sometimes the argument is worth having, sometimes not.

jaytkay's avatar

5. Diffuse it with humor and good sportmanship, ending in laughs

I am not good at that, I wish I were better, but I admire it

gemiwing's avatar

I don’t argue anymore, I choose to have a disagreement instead. If the other person wants to yell, scream and act the donkey then I walk away. I refuse to be talked to, or talk to another person, in that fashion. It takes two and I’m not playing.

Pandora's avatar

@thriftymaid, What would make an argument worth while?
@jaytkay Love your answer. (found out humor doesn’t work where money is involved. :(

Hexr's avatar

Depends who it’s with and what it’s about. If it’s a drunk slob trying to pick a fight about something dumb, I walk away (maybe not before making fun of them under my breath). But if it’s actually a respectable arguement or it’s important, then I argue on as long as it doesn’t end up involving anger. I don’t activly avoid conflict, but I won’t argue something dumb. Unless I’m drunk :-P

Pandora's avatar

@Hexr “Unless I’m drunk” Good to know. Thanks. :D

Trillian's avatar

Depends on circumstance and variables. A random statement intended to arouse disagreement is best ignored or dismissed. A person who just wants to practice their own arguments on me is not worth my time. A genuine desire for hearing alternate points of view based on a desire towards understanding is worth my time and I’ll happily state points and reasoning. I may even learn to appreciate another point of view. Just plain belligerence deserves a verbal flaying. Happily, I’m well equipped for this and enjoy sharpening my claws and removing skin a layer at a time.

MrsDufresne's avatar

Listen quietly until they are done, and then, without losing your cool, respond in an assertive, yet graceful manner. If you are right, and they are not, loudness and drama isn’t necessary.

If a stranger tries to argue with me, I handle it this way. However, if it is someone I love (and trust), emotions may get in the way of my grace, depending on the argument.
I’m working on it :p

thriftymaid's avatar

@Pandora I’m sure you do not believe that some of the most important, positive, change does not come about as a result of argument and debate. If you have retained me as an attorney, you would not question the value of the argument. I don’t argue about petty things in my personal life. Even important issues in personal life can usually simply be discussed rather than argued.

wonderingwhy's avatar

completely dependent on the argument, the person arguing, and their goals.

If they’re just trying to get a rise out of me…
1. Walk away. Its not worth your time or aggravation.

If it seems like an interesting topic and a worthwhile investment of time and energy…
2. Stay and argue. (A good argument can be a lot of fun!) Your not going to let someone get away with treating you like crap. (Don’t really care about that; if that’s their goal, more likely than not they’re opinion is irrelevant to me anyway, return to option 1.)

If they’re particularly entertaining in some fashion…
3. Listen till they run out of steam. (I do that a lot with drunk friends.)

4. Any other options?
Sure, For annoying people, if they’re not willing to debate but rather just insist it’s their way or the highway, I particularly enjoy getting ‘em good and riled, then just arrogantly dismiss everything they’ve been prattling on about and walk away.
For people who I find engaging, I’ll pick up the opposing side (whether I agree with it or not) and have a go at it. Or follow along with their train of thought and see where it leads.

netgrrl's avatar

Pick your battles carefully. Think for a moment and decide if the issue is worth the argument.

Rangie's avatar

If it is your spouse, I would tend to face them as they talk. If they have and issue, sooner or later it will affect me, so I listen. When they are through, I would say, I appreciate you telling me this, I didn’t know that, but I will certainly give it some serious thought. Most of the time the yelling begins, because you aren’t listening and they know it. I know by the look on my husbands face, he is thinking about what he wants to say, before I finish talking. I try to show him by example how to listen. But with him, I have to take both of his hands in mine to keep his attention, while he is talking to me, not the wall.

eden2eve's avatar

I can quickly determine if the individual wants an honest dialogue, or just wants to be “right”. If the former is the case, then respectful discussion would be good. If the latter, I just listen for awhile, not responding, and typically the dissenter will give up and/or run out of steam, thus ending the discussion. If the disagreement becomes volatile, I would walk away or get help if it’s necessary. To me, what’s most important is showing the other individual respect, while not allowing myself to be disrespected.

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