Social Question

MarcoNJ's avatar

If your significant other made a comment like, "She/he looks hot" while the two of you are in a public setting just relaxing & people watching, how would it affect you?

Asked by MarcoNJ (946points) April 8th, 2010

Would it bother you? Make you jealous? Or the complete opposite?

Would you consider it disrespectful to make such comments in front of you or do you acknowledge the comment, agree/disagree with it and maybe even join in on the fun yourself when you see some eye-candy?

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31 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Actually, when Chad Ochocinco made his appearance with an open-to-the-waist jacket on Dancing with the Stars the other night, I was audibly drooling. (He has amazing abs.)

And I tried to point out a large pair of natural breasts to my hubby in the parking lot the other morning, but he missed them. Al though he did crank his head to try and see.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I might agree with him ;)

LuckyGuy's avatar

No big deal. It’s just a statement of fact.
Millions of years of evolution are not going to be overturned by a few years of relationship.

Facade's avatar

We comment on and point out sexy women together lol.
But if I was uncomfortable with him doing it, an I didn’t do that sort of thing, I’d feel disrespected and all that.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, I do the same with her. I’d almost certainly take a look at whoever she was checking out and make my own assessment. What kills me though, is when she say “oh wow, she was really hot!” followed before I can even get my head around, “oops, you missed her.” evil woman!

Oh and for any who do feel uncomfortable, if that’s the case and it really bothers you, speak up and work it out together. Don’t assume the other person simply knows or is picking up on it.

sarahjane90's avatar

Occasionally I will point out someone being attractive, but I usually would only do it in reference to the same sex as me. If my significant other pointed out a ‘sexy’ woman I probably wouldn’t be too amused by it, but its nothing that five minutes wouldn’t make me forget about. Sure, it is accepted that your significant other is going to be looking at others. A relationship isn’t going to turn off your radar. We all do it. I would however consider it slightly disrespectful if my S.O. was doing this often, especially if it was in front of me. If it bothers you, let them know.

Cruiser's avatar

I would agree with her as she has good taste in men. ;)

aprilsimnel's avatar

People in relationships are in relationships, not dead. It’s not like they’re never going to notice another good-looker ever again. It wouldn’t bother me if he was just making an observation.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Pointing it out is much better than staring in secrecy.

Seek's avatar

Wouldn’t bother me at all. Though, it’s really not like him to just say “Wow, she’s hot”. It’s usually something more like “She has beautiful teeth”, or “Wow, It’s nice to see a pair of real ones for once”.

Yeah, we people-watch, and appraise people like cattle at an auction.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

When I first started going out with my s/o, she was very shy and not very self confident. She hardly said a word about any of the men around her. I’ve just worked to build her self confidence and esteem and show her that she could trust me and I trusted her. Now she’s kind of a hound and enjoys checking out other guys and she comments on the hot ones openly. I think its great. Plus she points out hot women to me.

MarcoNJ's avatar

My wife and I never did so in the beginning. Honestly, I would just secretly look and I’m assuming she did the same. But over the years, we’ve lightened up tremendously. Now, I just shrug it off…like the other day, we were strolling through the park and this shirtless dude, who looks like he works out, jogged right past us. As soon as he passed us, she says, “Hmm. You see that chest?” I look at her and reply, “Whatever. He ain’t got nothing on me.” Meanwhile I have a bird-chest. It’s amusing to me.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Early in our relationship, I would avoid “checkimg out” other women when we were together, out of respect for my lady. Later, she started pointing them out to me. We found that our tastes are remarlably similar. I would usually say something like “nice, but I prefer yours”.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

It all depends on how it’s said. I encourage my man to admit when he sees another attractive woman. Why hide it? At some point everyone will most likely see another person that they think is hot. But there are respectful ways to make such a statement. Saying, “Damn, that bitch is fineeeeee” while wiping drool off your mouth is probably not the best way of going about it.

slick44's avatar

would not bother me. I agree some women are hot. and after all. Hes not dead!

autumn43's avatar

My husband knows I live for baseball season when Jason Varitek will be seen squatting with those awesome thighs….and HE’S HOT! My son, however, thought it was a little weird when I asked him to take pictures of Jason in the bullpen while I yelled “Oh Jason! Hellooooo!”

CMaz's avatar

I would have no problem, if she was talking about another woman. ;-)

Another guy…? She is getting a spanking.

slick44's avatar

@ChazMaz .. sounds good either way!

OpryLeigh's avatar

My boyfriend and I are quite open when it comes to talking about who we think is hot or not and if it is just a passerby that catches one of our eyes then it’s not a problem. I must admit to sometimes feeling a little jealous if I know that he finds someone we know personally attractive.

Blackberry's avatar

I would not care. Who the hell am I to control another persons language? A significant other does not equal being your property. Get a pet for that, they don’t rebel as much…..

wundayatta's avatar

My wife isn’t too cool about this. She usually will say something like, “would you like to be with her? Big tits and all?” This was after we had discussed the issue and she said she didn’t mind. I think she takes it as a reflection on her—that if she were perfect enough, I’d never see any other woman.

I don’t know if she was always like this, because I always assumed a woman I was involved with wouldn’t appreciate such comments. I am not likely to say them before my wife any more.

I don’t think I would mind if she pointed out a hot guy. It’s not as if she’s going to run over to him and invite him home. Looks are just looks. They don’t require action.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Wouldn’t bother me – I’d look to see if I’m attracted to the person as well.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@wundayatta I can kind of relate to your wife in some senses because I very, very rarely notice other men. This is because, in my eyes, no one compares to my fella. I notice attractive women but that’s not because I want to be with them but because, like most women do from time to time, I check out the competition (not maliciously just curiously). In my more insecure moments I worry that if my fella is noticing other women then that must mean that I am not enough. In my heart of hearts I know this is not true and I know that given the choice, he finds me more attractive because I am the one he has chosen to be with and he likes the way I look and my personality. I have also learnt to accept, after talking with my girlfriends, that not everyone is like me. Some people (male and female – most of my friends) still notice others in a sexual way even when they are in a loving, committed relationship, doesn’t mean that they would do anything about it though.

hug_of_war's avatar

It would probably bother me, though I certainly wouldn’t stop him. I so rarely see attractive people myself.

MrsDufresne's avatar

You know that scene in the The Sound of Music when Julie Andrews is spinning, smiling and singing on top of that mountain? Well, I would react like that. And then, I would begin writing my first chapter of my second book.

(I looked for a video example, but couldn’t find one anywhere. lol.)

CMaz's avatar

@MrsDufresne – When will we be seeing you sing that song? ;-)

njnyjobs's avatar

As you said, you’re people-watching . . . the whole point of such is to make observations and conversation about it. . . . it should not be a problem.

MarcoNJ's avatar

@MrsDufresne Really? Would you have a buzz while doing so?

Just kidding.

MrsDufresne's avatar

@ChazMaz as soon as I memorize all the lyrics. ;)
@MarcoNJ lol. Nope. I’d be stone cold sober.

Silhouette's avatar

I can appreciate a fine looking woman with the best of them. I’d most likely agree with him.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

How is saying that a girl is hot any different than saying the french fries are hot?

We would think the other jealous french fries were just being silly and insecure with themselves. What shall we think of the jealous woman?

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