Social Question

Rangie's avatar

If the truth hurts, what should we do with a lie?

Asked by Rangie (3656points) April 9th, 2010

If the truth hurts, then how do you feel when someone lies to you, when you know they are lying because they are afraid to tell you the truth.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

30 Answers

rahm_sahriv's avatar

A lie makes things worse. The truth may not be pleasant, but it is much better than a lie.

phoebusg's avatar

Lying hurts for a prolonged period usually, though not right off.
Truth ‘hurts’ for those that have not learned to appreciate it yet, but eventually the revelations become useful.

Lightning's avatar

Assault the truth. Strangle the lie. Does it really matter in the end?

Rangie's avatar

@Lightning If you ask someone’s opinion on something that is important to you, doesn’t it matter to you what their opinion is? If not, then why would you ask?

Lightning's avatar

@Rangie That was a rhetorical question. And opinion is not truth, it is just one person’s perceptions or conclusions on whatever. The truth is much more rigid.

The only opinion that’s important to me IS MINE. :P

Try again.

filmfann's avatar

I always want the truth. Always always.
My kids know this, and are very forthcoming with me.

phoebusg's avatar

@Lightning a person’s truth is their opinion yes. And it is important for them to speak their truth, aka true opinion. It may not be the whole truth, but it’s not detached from it either. Most statements or positions have degrees of truth to them.

Why it’s important. If you’re wrong, you’re more likely to find out, if you’re right you’re more likely to teach someone. In general, there can be an actual improvement.

Of course you can try very hard to come up with cases where saying the truth was damaging, and lying was beneficial at least in the short term… but overall I think the opposite is much more likely.

On that note, there are ways of telling the truth that avert catastrophic results—by working on the delivery.

Lightning's avatar

How illogical. Remember rhetoric? A statement is either true or false. It is not semi-true, or even “a little” true. There is no middle ground. If each opinion is truth for that person, then how can that person ever be wrong? That makes ur whole “why is it important” point go down the toilet.

Try again.

Rangie's avatar

@Lightning If someone asked me for my opinion on something about them such as: Do you think my make-up looks okay to go in for an interview? Will I tell her the truth, or lie to her because I don’t want to tell her no, and this is why.

wundayatta's avatar

When someone lies to me because they are afraid to tell the truth, it makes me a little sad, a little mad, and quite a bit distrustful. Of course, if I know they are afraid to tell me the truth, why am I putting them in a position where they have to lie? This whole situation sounds pretty contrived to me.

When someone lies to you, you know you can’t trust their word to be accurate. What you do after that depends on what kind of relationship you have with the person. I need more details to say anything useful. There are no generalizations here. It all depends on what the situation on the ground is.

phoebusg's avatar

@Lightning everyone holds a little bit of the truth. Most statements cannot encapsulate the ‘whole truth’ about a subject or even a dimension. Think about it, and as you say try again but much harder :)

Ludy's avatar

I belive it, sometimes I avoid knowing the truth, anything I can do to hold onto hapiness, even if it’s for a moment.

phoebusg's avatar

@Ludy happiness through awareness although may be seemingly harder to attain, sure ‘shines’ brighter and sticks around longer. Happiness through bliss will always tremble in the shadow of fear and ignorance.

Lightning's avatar

@phoebusg If everyone has “a little bit of truth” what is the point of truth? Its such a little amount spread across 6 billion people. Why bother with it? It’s to fragmented to be of value.

@Rangie Oh. Ur focusing on smile scale. I will count your question as valid then.

filmfann's avatar

@phoesbusq a person’s truth is their opinion no.
truth is truth, not dependant on whether we believe it.

phoebusg's avatar

@Lightning why does something that simply is have to have meaning, or a point? It doesn’t, this is a human creation.

@filmfann the truth, is the truth. Yes, I agree. But who can see it whole? Even if you ask the truth of just one question – can you see the whole connected wealth of answers, or the complete answer for it? Most likely no, but each one of us is likely to know a part of it. And carry elements of it in our statements.

Ludy's avatar

@phoebusg like this is an expample of not wanting to know that!!! just kidding, great answer btw

Lightning's avatar

@phoebusg So truth is a human creation? Then truth is no longer truth, just one opinion from one of 6 billion people. It doesn’t matter.

phoebusg's avatar

@Lightning no. Meaning behind the truth is a human creation. The universe, in all its entirety and states just is, and changes as it does. It doesn’t need our meaning to be.

If you can’t mine information, or true parts from those opinions it’s only your loss.

Lightning's avatar

@phoebusg It’s everyone’s loss. I would like to see you dig for 6 billion people for a specific truth – and finish before you die. :P

Finding truth is impossible. There is not enough time. WHY BOTHER WITH IT?

filmfann's avatar

@phoebusg It is logic like that which causes hemorroids and skidmarks on underwear.
“Hmmm… I feel a bit disquiet. It could be I need to poop, or possibly this is just a bad gas build up. It could be a swollen kidney, or perhaps an enlarged bowel obstuction. Perhaps an apple core, or even a stray hamster has gotten lodged uncomfortably. Could it be…” <craps pants>

faye's avatar

smiles!@filmfann

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’ve learned to adopt from a friend the saying, “Trust but verify”. It’s tough when someone is lying to you and you know they are but you also know they’re lying to you because they think it’s better than their truth. I try to look at what the subject is, why they want to keep it from me and how to respond once they learn I already know. People feeling guilty and concealing doesn’t bring them any closer so I say so and then see what happens from there. Some people’s lies are inexcusable to me though and I let them know that there’s only so many times I can believe and then be disappointed or hurt before I no longer want anything to do with them. The ball is in the court of the liar.

mollypop51797's avatar

truth hurts. Lies hurt. telling lies doesn’t hurt. Telling the truth does. Doesn’t that make it easier to lie? well.. it might.. but lying is lying. It’s bad, and we should try to only lie when necessary or for the good of someone else’s sake. Easier said than done though….

vbabe96's avatar

I believe that if you a true person and really care about the person you are talking to than you will tell them the truth. It shouldn’t matter how much it will hurt the both of you. You tell the truth because when the lie is reveled it stings a lot more. If the person refuses to see the truth (such as a boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating) then that is their problem. Just remember to be there for them when their world comes crashing down. (as my best friend was here for me when I did not believe her about my fiances affair).

Rangie's avatar

@vbabe96 She was a good friend to you when you needed her. Maybe you will be able to do that (hopefully under different circumstances) for someone else one day. Good friends doing the right thing can become contagious.
I hope I can help someone one day.

vbabe96's avatar

@Rangie
I know I am most thankful for my friends.

Rangie's avatar

@vbabe96 If she had lied to you, where would you be today? Maybe not in a good place. Objects are replaceable, but that honorable good friend is someone to value.
I am sure you deserve to have her.

vbabe96's avatar

Thank You!

Rangie's avatar

your welcome!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther