Social Question

Sophief's avatar

What are the signs that someone is trying to make you break up with them?

Asked by Sophief (6676points) April 11th, 2010

Just that really.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

36 Answers

DarkScribe's avatar

Rat poison in your breakfast cereal?

You can usually sense when someone is unhappy unless you are incredibly thick skinned. They lose patience with you, don’t seek your company, and have little interest in sharing any part of their lives with you.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

never been in a relashionship so I am sorry I CAN’T HELP:)

Sophief's avatar

@DarkScribe Good answer, but no, I’m getting none of that, maybe I’m just paranoid.

marinelife's avatar

They are just going through the motions when you do things.

They don’t seek you out to talk to you.

They stop telling you they love you.

Trillian's avatar

HAH! Lots of things! Not calling when they say they will, missing appointments to be with you, then getting angry if you say something about it. Making counter accusations, avoiding time with you, leaving you hanging, telling obvious lies, not making eye contact….
I’m sorry Dibs, you’re not doing so well?

TheOnlyException's avatar

It isn’t necessarily things you can list down. It may be there is suddenly a distance and coldness from them that wasn’t there before, and you cannot really pin point why. This could be due to any number of things including that they may be losing interest in you.
Sometimes this happens. It is sad and everyone has gone through it at some point or another. It doesn’t mean they don’t care for you anymore, but they don’t want you in that way.

john65pennington's avatar

The biggest and foremost sign is when your partner flats ignores you. like you do not exist anymore. its a built-in alarm in humans that you will definetely recognize, when it begins.

j0ey's avatar

I think if their goal is to make you break up with them because they are too chicken to do it themselves, they will try and push as many of your buttons as they can (for example):

- So if all of a sudden you find them drinking/taking drugs more often and you have said you don’t like it when they do that in the past.

- If they get out of something that is usually a tradition or ritual for you both as a couple…for example they make plans to go out with friends on your “watch dvd’s and snuggle on the couch” night.

- If they cheat on you, and flat out tell you straight away….

- If they are passive aggressive, or just passive for that matter….

- If they seem to not care at all if you have to work late and can’t see them, and they don’t even pretend that they do.

I guess if you notice a change in behavior it always means something. But that something might not involve their feelings for you. There is a possibility it is something internal, and they are going through a bout of depression for instance. And if you are the person that is closest to them, they might take their pain out on you.

They could just need some space, and needing space in a relationship, especially a serious one does not always mean they want to break up.

I think in these situations it is best not to mind read…..If you feel something is wrong, you have to ask.

Emt3225's avatar

You just know. The relationship doesn’t feel the same. You feel it in your heart that something is not right with the relationship.

hug_of_war's avatar

Not wanting to spend time together and seemingly being busy all the time when they have no big distractions have happened and always making an excuse for why they can’t be around you – on that note constantly breaking plans.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Dibley Is he acting differently? This might be your own feelings of inadequacy talking to you. It’s tough to filter out reality from the bad stuff in your own head. Is there anyone who knows both of you and can give you an objective opinion? From everything you’ve told me about your b/f, he’s a decent guy. ((hugs))

PandoraBoxx's avatar

They criticize everything you do, make plans to do things without you, without consulting you, are away from the house without telling you where they are before they go.

dpworkin's avatar

In my experience, they utter some words similar to the following, unless they are cowards or freaks: “I’m sorry, honey, but this just isn’t working out.”

Ludy's avatar

cheating, lying, and just doing things that annoy you, just trying to show you what a bad choice they are, he/she is a coward by the way, that way he/she won’t feel shity that he dumped you. but feel like a victim

Cruiser's avatar

They start serving you cold meatloaf.

Draconess25's avatar

When they try to shoot you in your sleep. With a FLAMETHROWER!!!!

Sophief's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land No he isn’t acting differently. Just me, again! I mention how I feel to him and he doesn’t know how I get such crazy idea in my head. His words. I’ll learn, one day!

silverfly's avatar

Sounds like someone is projecting.

Silhouette's avatar

They get rude, sneaky, mean or gone.

Ludy's avatar

@Dibley you should watch ” He’s just not that into you ” the cheating husband (bradley cooper ) is a good example of someone trying to make you break with him

Ludy's avatar

And when I said that feeling like a victim is because I’ve done it, I know, sometimes I feel like a bad person, I’m just human

filmfann's avatar

Being ignore is a much better sign than fighting.
If they ignore you, they don’t care about you.

nimarka1's avatar

someone trying to make YOU break up with THEM? they would probably do really annoying things, especially when they know what things annoy you. maybe act clingy, too clingy that you feel like you are suffocating. Weird behavior, things that would gross you or anyone out maybe like not showering for days, wearing the same nasty clothes. even little things like eating like a pig, with the mouth open. Talking on the phone or texting others for a long time when you are with them. just acting like a complete deutch bag.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

They will pretend everything is fine but then do things such as:

Spend a lot of time watching TV, online, gaming or working extra hours so that you will complain and they can turn it on you that you two aren’t working out.

Tell you they are very stressed and tired when it comes time to go to bed so they can avoid having sex with you. You will inquire or complain and they will say it sounds like you’re the one trying to find reasons to break up.

They’ll purposely accept phone calls or texts in front of you to make you feel not so important but they won’t say anything about who they’re from. They’ll go along with outings and make a point of texting during your time together.

In front of other people they’ll bring up or mention things that will embarass or undermine you such as, “my ex was incredible at that!” or “oh I remember that, good times!”, shit like that.

nebule's avatar

you feel ignored

zebter's avatar

A big sign is when they post comments on fluther about wanting to be single on more than one occasion.

When they tell you for 9 years out of the 10.5 you have been married that you trapped them yet they had no spine to back out or tell you they were not in love with you. “sure sign of a ass hole in the making.”

When they say things like.. “Gosh I wish they had those dating sites back before we got married so I could have shopped around.”

When you talk to them and they ignore you on purpose and then act like your a bitch for even talking to them in the first place and make it your fault when they decided to shake their head as though they are waking up.

Making comments like, “I wish we could live in a studio apartment.” but the fact is you have a family of 5 and that would make no since at all.

When your mate says to you, “If you plan to leave me do not bother showing up at the airport.”

When they say things like, “I am never going to make you happy.” when that is not the case at all.

Ludy's avatar

I’m sorry to hear that :( Why are you still w/ him after all this time?

zebter's avatar

@Ludy that is a good question that I am sure will need to be answered this year some time.

faye's avatar

Wow, great answers! Not wanting kisses was the one I noticed about myself.

bob_'s avatar

The eyes look different.

Adagio's avatar

Which emotion is the opposite of love? Indifference

chamelopotamus's avatar

Its hard not to notice these signs. This knowledge is built-in, in all of us. Its whether or not we are brave enough to admit we realize we see these signs.

JeffVader's avatar

Its not always an easy one to be sure of but, when they start becoming distant or detached from the relationship. Stop making plans for the future, lose interest in things the two of you used to enjoy, less enthusiasm for sex… that kinda thing.
The problem though is that all of these things could also be caused by something else, like stress.

Ludy's avatar

@Adagio isn’t it HATE, the opposite of love??

Adagio's avatar

@Ludy I do not believe love and hate are opposites, I think those emotions are too closely intertwined to be considered opposites. Surely it is only when we love a person that given the right circumstances it is quite possible to feel hate towards them at the same time… a paradoxical phenomenon, you might say… only a person that means a great deal to us has enough power to evoke the emotion of hate in our breast. That’s my take on the matter anyway.

Draconess25's avatar

@Adagio I’ve noticed that when soeone is close to me, & they betray me, I hate them even more than I would some random person who tried to kill me.

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