Why do my moods change so strangely?

I suffered from the same symptoms for a few years after stopping all drug and alcohol usage. That was a long time ago, but the mood swings stuck with me for years, slowly leveling out 3–5 years later. Even now, 20 years later, there are small moments of mood swing. But they never last more than a second, and they are not dependent on praise or attention from others any longer.

Exercise and good diet helps tremendously. A hobby without a computer involved helps too. I recommend everyone get a camera, sketchbook, paint set, and hit the hiking trail at least once a week. Just get up and start walking.

Donating time for others helps level the mood swings as well. The local homeless shelter needs volunteers. The local humane society needs volunteers to help walk dogs that never get out of their cages. Those dogs exhibit the same moody symptoms as humans who never get out of their cages. Nice way to start the morning, walking with a happy slobbering friend.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I try and exercise as much as I can, Fluther doesn’t help that of course!

That’s a move in the right direction. We must all take account for ourselves at some point. I hope you get some outdoor exercise from time to time. A trip to the botanical gardens does wonders for me. Yes, I actually carry on conversations with the beautiful plants.

Sometimes I’ll go to a secluded area of a local park and make friends with a special tree. I don’t choose them, they choose me. And when we meet, I find a new sanctuary. I’ll sit in the shade for hours, feeling the earth beneath me while leaning back against my new friend. It is a magnificent experience. Find your sanctuary.

@Dibley I have read your posts since I joined here on the same day you did and you seem like a nice enough person with a boyfriend who by your words loves you…so I am confused to why the low self esteem? What does he see that you don’t? Is there something in your world you can connect with that will help you build your self esteem and self worth? A new job, hobby, sport or volunteer somewhere? I hate to see anyone so down and out all the time! Little things can make a big difference in one’s attitude I hope you find some!

@Cruiser .. :) liked your answer.

It’s depressing not to have a plan for your life. Do you have a plan for your life? Are you wandering aimlessly? Don’t be aimless… Start aiming… You will hit the target!

Make a plan, and enjoy the journey along the way to achieving that plan.

Try to start each day with a smile. look at the good life has to offer. you just have to go get it.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies That is such a lovely and caring answer. Taking care of animals in a shelter must be so very rewarding for you, and indeed the dogs.
Well done you.

@Dibley Have you ever discussed your mood swings with a doctor? It’s always good to do that just to make sure there isn’t some kind of organic problem, or if there is one, to get it treated.

Otherwise, what other people have been saying could well help. Exercising. Eating and sleeping regularly and sufficiently. Volunteering to help others.

You seem to be completely dependent on your boyfriend and fluther for company. Perhaps some real life company would help. You would meet people if you volunteered. Or you could even get a job. Not for the money, but to be with people.

There was a time in my life when my mood swung wildly, like yours. It all depended on how I thought other people saw me. Meds and therapy have been helping me. Oddly enough, so has fluther. I get feedback here that tells me I’m not as worthless as I thought. I know I’m not supposed to rely on other people for that feedback, but I’ll take anything that makes me feel better about myself.

Good luck!

I think we all have mood swings from time to time, good bad and indifferent. It is how we deal with these changes that’s important.
Think you must start thinking about yourself first and foremost. YOU are the most important person in your world, and you should start to think that way. Start to love yourself, then others will start to love you.
Do things that make YOU happy. You will feel such a sense of achievement. (hugs)

@Cruiser Thank you, that is a nice thing to say. I am looking to find a new job, but the job markey isn’t great around here. I do have a great boyfriend, and I don’t know what he sees when he looks at me, it certainly can’t be what I see, but he is still with me, so he must see something good I guess.

@wundayatta Yes, a little too much maybe, think they get sick of seeing me, no wonder they didn’t employ me when I went for a job there other week.

@partyparty Thank you.

@Dibley What did the doctor have to say?

Also, I think it could well be the low self-esteem saying that they get sick of seeing you. I’m sitting here thinking what can I tell you about that? I’m drawing a blank. Self-esteem is such a difficult thing to work on, and when it changes, it seems like it’s changing by magic; not by anything I do.

I knew, when I was feeling bad, that there were many reasons why I should feel better about myself. None of them mattered. Because of that, the littlest things could batter me down. Most particularly a silence of more than twelve hours from someone I was depending on—friend or more than that. Such a silence caused me to make up all kinds of stories about how they hated me. I could come up with a dozen reasons for why they disliked me without even trying.

That kind of thinking is worse than useless. I was essentially cooperating with whatever it was that made me feel bad to make me feel worse. The feeling wasn’t based on reality, although it felt real. I had to learn to try to separate my feelings about my fantasies from my feelings about reality. I had to learn to not let my fantasies fly away from me to wreak havoc. It wasn’t easy, and I don’t expect it’s easy for anyone in this situation.

I think your mind is wandering around looking for reasons to feel bad. It’s as if the world is a teacup and you are constantly reading the leaves in the bottom of that cup. Everywhere you look, you see more omens and portents. If you are doing that, you have to redirect your mental energy to more constructive pursuits. That means occupy your mind with something else. For me, that means being around people, especially people I like, having intense conversations and working on things that will improve the world. This work can be in the physical world or in the artistic world. Anything, so long as it involved creating things.

One way to work on this is to give yourself permission to fail. To fall back into depression. To give up on yourself. To hit bottom again.

I get this idea from 12 step programs, where they start by admitting they are powerless over their addiction. I had felt like I was supposed to control my depression, and that if I really wanted to, I could pull myself out of it. When I didn’t do that, I beat myself up even more. Eventually, I decided I liked depression. I gave up fighting it. I just let it be whatever it wanted to be.

Somehow, that freed me of it. Not all at once, and there was this constant battle of believing I could control it and then giving up. Giving up allowed me to distance myself mentally from it. I had no power over it. It was going to do what it wanted. But, somehow, I was able to be myself in the times when depression wasn’t taking over. And somehow, those moments of being myself became longer and longer.

The depression is what it is. It is outside of your control. It is like an animal running free in the forest. What you want to do is to let it go. Let it run so far, you can’t see it, and it can’t find you again. Depression is a horrible, smothering, heavy animal. But it needs you to fight it. When you stop fighting, it has nothing to hold onto. It begins to slide off. You just keep on doing what you do, letting the depression be, and eventually it hits the ground. And seeing as how it’s blind, it starts sniffing around for you, but it can’t find you, and eventually, it gets lost.

Well. Nice metaphor. Is it real? To some degree. It’s not easy, of course. I hope that helps.

@wundayatta He just keeps feeding me anti depressants, and makes me see a shrink. Though I recently changed doctors because the last one asked me out, I haven’t seen my new one yet.

@Dibley Asked you out? That is the most unprofessional thing I’ve heard of. In the US, it could get you to lose your license.

@wundayatta He always asked how my relationship was, which I thought was ok. Then he told me to call him by his first name, then asked if I wanted to meet for a drink after he finished work. He probably thought he could get in my knickers because I was vulnerable.

I am shocked that he asked you out. That’s beyond unprofessional!

I would recommend seeking professional help and take a full mental workup. Emotional and psychological health can change over time so retaking the evaluation could be incredibly beneficial.

Also, let your psychiatrist know how you are feeling. Some medications can cause emotional reactions such as mood swings, suicidal thoughts and the like. It could be as simple as tweaking your medication.

With your history of self-harm, low self-esteem and feeling emotionally connected to such a degree with a few set of people, I would recommend looking into BPD. That’s just from a layman and just one idea.

Definitely go to your new therapist and see what they recommend. We can only see so much from our interactions with you through Fluther.

Human touch is a powerful means influencing our brain chemistry.

@Dibley you need a hobby! Too much time on your hands girl!