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philosopher's avatar

How do you figure out if someone can be trusted?

Asked by philosopher (9152points) April 12th, 2010

How should I figure out if someone can be trusted? If they are truthful?

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32 Answers

Trillian's avatar

I trust people and believe what they tell me until they give me a reason not ot.

Sophief's avatar

Time. Is it someone you have just met or someone you have known for a while. I trust no one, trust is a big word and needs to be earned. Give them a little information and see what they do with it. If they do nothing then they could be trusted.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

By their actions.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

1. Trust people with something relatively minor and small, such as being the executive in charge of the government.

2. Wait for them to fail.

3. Cross that ass off the list.

4. Repeat until you learn that you can’t trust anyone.

philosopher's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille
That is what I do.
LOL I wish I had a better way.
I am still learning how to read people. I do well most of the time; but I can always learn more.
I can not be manipulated. I wish I was a better manipulator. I know many.

MarcoNJ's avatar

@CyanoticWasp Good one. Lol.

If they like to hear themselves talk…they can’t be trusted.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@philosopher -That’s the best way I know.One’s past behaviour will usually be a clue as to what they’ll do in the future.

DarkScribe's avatar

Rent a crystal ball. If you cannot do that, trust your instincts.

thriftymaid's avatar

Generally, trusting people are trustworthy.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

If anyone is looking for a crystal ball that is 100% guaranteed to work, then I know where you can get them for half price.

ucme's avatar

Anyone wearing hush puppies & tweed should be automatically ruled out in the trust stakes,in my experience.

JeffVader's avatar

Hmmmm, in an odd way I can be very irresponsible about trusting people. Despite, on an intellectual level, knowing trust needs to be earned etc…. there are some people I just seem to trust instantly…. mostly people with blonde hair (male or female). I cant really explain why.

Sophief's avatar

@JeffVader I thought you trusted me :-(

john65pennington's avatar

Call it a 6th sense or whatever, but i can size a person, just by looking and talking to them. here is an example: would you place trust in an alcoholic to stand gurard over a case of whiskey? how long would it take, before the temptation would take over his whole character?

Bussiness owners apparently do not trust many people. this is why each business has security cameras and security personnel all over the place.

I have always believed that you should never trust a person, until you get to know that person.

If everybody was trustworthy, there would be no jails or prisons. right?

JeffVader's avatar

@Dibley You know I do….. I said ‘mostly people with blonde hair’ not only :)

Silhouette's avatar

Trial and error.

mattbrowne's avatar

Body language. Facial gestures. Tone of voice. Authenticity and consistency in his or her talk.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Once you adopt this mechanism, you will see it in everyone, including yourself. It has actually changed the way I have personal eye to eye conversations with people. It has given me reason to question the validity of others. But most importantly, it has given me cause to question my own motivations many times.

I often catch myself doing it unconsciously. I find it very accurate for myself to determine if I’m stretching the truth, making something up, outright lying, or quoting from vague memory. It has given me cause to intensely practice direct eye to eye contact in every conversation. It works with everyone from my kids to my clients. It gives me reason to let something go, or to question someone further. Further questioning often dissects a lie quite efficiently.

It gives me the opportunity to allow others to catch themselves in a lie, rather than me having to accuse them of lying. I always prefer the former.

MarcoNJ's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Damn, you really live up to your name. Thanks for that link. I think I’m going to try it today

DarkScribe's avatar

@ucme
Anyone wearing hush puppies & tweed should be automatically ruled out in the trust stakes,in my experience.

That rules me out – I usually wear blue jeans and tee shirt with a tweed jacket. No hush puppies though – usually boots. I’ll only wear a suit if it is absolutely neccessary.

cheebdragon's avatar

Intuition. If you need to question whether or not someone can be trusted, your intuition has already given you the answer.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Invite the person over. Put $100 somewhere that person will be able to see it. Leave them alone in the room for a few minutes. If the money is gone when you return, well, it’s obvious isn’t it?

ucme's avatar

@DarkScribe That’s borderline trust, the tweed jacket keeps me on my toes though.

philosopher's avatar

Thank you everyone for confirming my beliefs. I feel that I can basically size people up easily these days.
Knowing I am not the only suspicious person makes feel better about it.
In reality we have no choice.
Better to be cynical than a naive fool.
I go with my gut.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Has your gut ever been wrong, or bent from past experience?

philosopher's avatar

My gut is rarely wrong and I usually regret it if I do not listen.
LOL I have learned to say NO!!!!
I am all grown up.
Guilt is often a wasted emotion.
Today I shocked my Husband by telling someone No.
I am a practicing bitch. I refuse to be taken advantage of.
I help those who help me and no one else.
Does that answer your question? @RealEyesRealizeRealLies
For me growing up also means not caring if people like me or not;unless they are friends or family.

Berserker's avatar

Trying to figure that out is too complicated and not precise enough. So I just go all samurai and I trust no one cuz I’m so hardcore.

Joking. I just give the benefit of the doubt, but to make sure I don’t get skull fucked I don’t display my guts in their entirety to just anyone. Learned my lesson a while back, as far as that’s concerned.
I’m afraid experience is really the only way to foresee something that which most of us would not even want to think about. :/

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@philosopher
I wish I was right about my feelings all the time. Good for you to have accomplished that.

philosopher's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies
All Humans are a work in progress and imperfect,
Having an Autistic Son has made my instincts sharper.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Quite often I tend to just know if I can trust someone. There are certain people that I trusted (to a certain extent as I don’t trust anyone 100%) right from word go and they haven’t let me down since. However, if I am in doubt I can usually rely on my dogs to let me know. My Jack Russell in particular is very wary of strangers and so, if she is happy with a person soon after meeting them I tend to trust that person, Bella (Jack Russell) hasn’t let me down so far. There have also been cases where she hasn’t gone near a person and everytime they approached her she would grumble at them. These people have turned out to be the type I keep at arms length. It sounds mad but I strongly believe that animals can often sense things that we sometimes miss.

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