If you need and want attention and support and/or love (not romantic love), how do you get it?

When I was sick, I learned that if I said bad things about myself and the stuff I do, people would often jump in to provide support and friendship and love. It was a trap though. I desperately wanted those things, but since I had manipulated people, I didn’t know if it was real, so I had to turn it away.

Since I found myself doing that, I’ve been working to stop doing it. I have been trying not to say bad things about myself because they, too, are lies. Although I didn’t know that when I first got sick. People have shown me that I do have my good points.

The other thing I hate, though, is just coming right out and asking, please, I need support and love, will you give it to me? Once again I don’t trust it is real, because I asked for it.

The only love I trust is that which is unsolicited and unmanipulated. But people rarely offer that, although they probably do so more than I am willing to recognize or admit.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve placed myself in a trap. I was wondering how other people deal with this. When you, personally, need support and love, how do you seek it out? Please, no advice. I’m interested in your stories. They teach me more than any advice ever could.