General Question

deni's avatar

Is it possible to bottle up a fart and preserve the smell for later?

Asked by deni (22660points) April 14th, 2010

my brothers tried to fart in a bottle and give it to my dad for christmas like 10 years ago. HAHAHAHAH. i still laugh every time i think about it. anyhow, is it possible? if done right, if you didn’t let the molecules or whatever out of the bottle and stuck the cork in right away so it was airtight, when you open it later, would it still reek?

if you think this question is stupid or not up to your standards, just MOVE ALONG

so many questions about farts today…

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

48 Answers

dpworkin's avatar

The seal has to have a membrane with smaller ports than the size of the odor molecules.

ucme's avatar

An ingenious new fossil fuel.Wait till the big corporations get wind of this.They’ll pump an awful lot of cash into it i’m sure.

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

You do know that you got to much time in your hands,Dontcha !!
Here U GO !!
Got the 411 from my Cuz! He’s a degenerate !

CMaz's avatar

Yes, I keep a very special 1985 vintage.

When I am in the mood to Wang Chung.

Keysha's avatar

“if you think this question is stupid or not up to your standards, just MOVE ALONG”

You know, I would have done just that, except for this line.

That is extremely rude. You should be ashamed of yourself.

beautifulbobby193's avatar

I like this question (hence the great question award) and have also in the past wondered the same thing. Sometimes after a real stinker it can be lonely when there is nobody to enjoy it with, so wouldn’t it be great to be able to bottle it up and keep it for a special moment?

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

@Keysha Why,should she be ashamed ??? I myself often place footnotes in my questions requesting for the bitter, sour-puss,A-holes to bypass my questions if it does not meet their high standards of what a question should be about and/or how it should be phrased !!

BoBo1946's avatar

is this National Fart Day?

A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, “Seven Points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”

The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally he shytes in the bed. The wife says, “What the hell was that?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides.”

wundayatta's avatar

What a gas! To use @ucme‘s phrase, when the public gets wind of this, there will be a hurricane frenzy that no one can break! The concert halls will be reconfigured to maximize the effect of anal acoustics. No more moot toots! People will be proud to call attention to their ass vapors.

Ok. Enough, already!

ucme's avatar

Would make for an interesting quiz show.Guess the brand.“Tonights mystery celebrity fart belongs to”....

Ltryptophan's avatar

I know that if you are fast you can catch a fart in your hand and toss it in someones face, this is the ninja

deni's avatar

@Keysha are you joking? im confused. if not that was the most ridiculous thing i’ve heard all day.

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

@Ltryptophan ” BUT” if you do it to a Samurai he will slice it in half with his Kitana!!

Your_Majesty's avatar

The best way to do that is just put one small piece of your feces inside that bottle and let it in anearob condition. When he opens that all the smell that represent your fart will burst out into his nose.

deni's avatar

@Doctor_D ewwwwwwwwwwww hahah i think that might be crossing the line! that is more like punishment, dont you think? not a thoughtful christmas gift. LOL

Your_Majesty's avatar

@deni Ups!,sorry about that. I have no intention be rude or nasty. I just suggest the best method to do this thing. He he.

deni's avatar

@Doctor_D SOO nasty. i am offended. jk :)

silverfly's avatar

I can almost taste the stink.

janbb's avatar

WHy didn’t anyone send me the memo that today was Fart Question Day? (And I got modded yesterday for posting a question about National Poetry Month!)

cockswain's avatar

Absolutely it’s possible. A guy at work farted in a jar and quickly put the lid on. He then walked up to a co-worker and opened the jar and said “check this out” as he moved the open jar close to his face. It was clear from the reaction I saw that the jar smelled. On a side note, these guys were scientists.

deni's avatar

@cockswain THAT IS SO FUNNY. what a hilarious interaction to observe, i bet!

Coloma's avatar

Isn’t there a voting chamber for nominating a question as among THE most PROFOUND and life changing EVER?

Honestly, the brains and imagination that went into this, I am rendered speechless!

How can I possibly compete with the great minds in this realm?

You know, this COULD have been MY question…sigh

janbb's avatar

@Coloma No tilde needed there.

anartist's avatar

I just want to add a side note in appreciation of @deni‘s last line
[@Keysha are you listening?]
This looks like just what Andrew asked for in the town meeting—a warning or ward-off label for those who would be offended, which also serves as an invitation to others.

deni's avatar

exactly. but in these modern times, being specific and trying not to waste peoples time is in abomination!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Ah, the highly intellectional qualities of a good fart tale. And my question about the ulcer on a guy’s johnson got moderated as well. There is no justice janbb. Jesus, my brain isn’t functioning today. intellectional?

lilikoi's avatar

lol, just lol, at this whole thread

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I always wonder what the later crowd thinks of our intellectional discussions?

Coloma's avatar

The later crowd is most likely just a recycle of the original crowd.

Electing to recollect intelligentual bygone threads.

Keysha's avatar

I’m glad I confused and amused so many of you. Yes, I find that comments like that are rude. They do not work to disabuse anyone that wants to post from posting, so all they do is serve to make the asker, in my mind, look arrogant. Feel free to amuse yourself about my feelings all you like. I’m out of here. Should have heeded my inner child and not commented on that one pet peeve of mine, in the first place. I thought this site had more maturity than AB or Y!A. Yet again, I am proven wrong.

cockswain's avatar

who wants to fart in a jar and give it to @Keysha ?

deni's avatar

@cockswain i’ll contribute 10 jars

on a side note, i always knew that in a contest i would be voted the rudest fluther member~ ;)

cockswain's avatar

not a chance.

anartist's avatar

@deni why? are you trying?

deni's avatar

@anartist hah no i was just recounting to my boyfriend recently the story of how my brothers tried to do this when they were younger and give it to my dad for christmas

anartist's avatar

no—trying to be the rudest member. I just got one of my brothers to spill the beans about fart-lighting episodes among his cohort.

SeventhSense's avatar

Gives new meaning to the phrase: “he who smelt it dealt it”..I suppose

free_fallin's avatar

It’s the tone in which your added note in the details section is full of that @Keysha is referring to, I assume. There is certainly nothing wrong with adding a note saying you’re looking for funny answers, as Andrew suggested. However, the tone behind what you put does imply rudeness, though I certainly am not saying that was your attention. I don’t think there was any need for you, @deni, and others to jump down her throat.

deni's avatar

its just how i talk. there is nothing offensive about how i phrased it. if someone is going to think that i should be ashamed of myself for putting “move along” in caps, then i think that is comical. we JUST had a town hall meeting about how we should have warnings on questions about who we want to answer them—i know this is a silly question, but it is also legitimate. but if someone doesn’t think that, they can just mosey on past it.

cockswain's avatar

see, now the rudest fluther member would have given a far less civilized response, and may have said something like “fuck right off” instead of “mosey on”

SeventhSense's avatar

Some of you could fuck up a wet dream. It’s a JOKE.
LMAO…till I shit my pants

Mikelbf2000's avatar

I want to master this amazing art…or is it a craft?

deni's avatar

@cockswain @SeventhSense tremendous piles of love for you both ;)

@Mikelbf2000 its AN ART. CRAFTS TAKE FAR LESS SKILL :)

Mikelbf2000's avatar

@deni I must master this art! The awesomness of containing a fart in a bottle to be enjoyed at a later date!

anartist's avatar

@Mikelbf2000 It’s an out-of-body experience

Arisztid's avatar

@free_fallin Thankyou for what you said about @Keysha , who happens to be my wife.

cockswain's avatar

I’d really like to do a spoof on the Jim Croce classic, and call it “Fart in a Bottle.”

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