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The_Inquisitor's avatar

Have you ever found that you were attracted to someone that you thought was ugly?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3158points) April 19th, 2010

This may not make sense, and maybe I have no clue what I’m talking about..

Well, what did you find about them that was so attracting? Was it their personality? Why were they ugly to you?

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25 Answers

Vunessuh's avatar

One of my ex-boyfriend’s looks like Seth Rogen.
When I first saw him, I didn’t think he was ugly, but I wasn’t attracted to him.
We developed a friendship and as I got to know more about him, I found myself becoming more and more attracted to him. It was his personality, charm and wit that ultimately drew me in and his looks through my eyes just sort of changed from average to sexy. I still find that numbskull to be a hottie-pa-tottie.

cockswain's avatar

Alcohol has made that happen to me more times than I remember.

Trillian's avatar

I know just what you mean. There was a man whom I found extremely unappealing for a long time. Then I had to be on a committee with him. He got up to explain an idea that absolutely wowed me. I grew over the next weeks to respect him immensely. As time went on, I grew fond of him as a person, and realized one day that I was powerfully attracted to him. He hadn’t changed anything, it was all in my perception. The looks that I had previously found unattractive now held a complete fascination and attraction for me. And additionally of course, I held him in the highest regard and respect intellectually.

filmfann's avatar

I have had several gf’s who were not pretty, but I found them attractive because of their personalities. I find that more alluring than looks.
It’s funny, but my wife is completely beautiful, and that is not what first attracted me to her.

squidcake's avatar

Definitely, personality can overcome looks in some cases.
Exhibit A: My former Spanish teacher. What a sad life I lead.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

When you start to really know someone you discover you love, you discover that regardless of how closely they fit your notion of beauty, the one you love becomes more beautiful and attractive than anyone else in the world.

ubersiren's avatar

Yup. The first guy to really break my heart was pretty unattractive, physically. I thought he was unattractive before I fell in love with him, but when we dated, I thought he was the cutest thing ever. Then, after he dumped me, I thought he was ugly again. It’s actually kind of funny…

Plone3000's avatar

I meet a girl who picked at her face worse than me, but I still found her very pritty. My first girl frend I never really found inceadubly atractive, but she was nice and intelagent.

kheredia's avatar

Sometimes a persons personality can be way more attractive than their looks. I’ll take personality over looks any day. Looks fade, personality doesn’t.

anartist's avatar

@cockswain the girls all get prettier at closing time???

cockswain's avatar

@anartist Or well before it. Depends what time I got going. But those days are thankfully long behind me

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes, once. I met a man I had been talking to online for over a year and though he was shorter than I thought, plumper, bald and older than anyone I’d dated before, I really liked his values, the way he’d lived his life, his personality and that he got me, really understood me, had me figured out and made me feel unabashed about myself. Not only that but the things he told his friends he liked most about me were the things I’d always felt proud of but generally overlooked and underappreciated for. I fell like a stone for him and decided to change my life to be with him. Whoa, what an experience even if it didn’t work out. He might as well have been rolled in crack dust, I was so smitten, felt so sexually matched and was super proud he was “my man”. He managed to make me feel like the most beautiful, intelligent, gifted and wonderful person in his life without the typical lines of flattery.

Pandora's avatar

Not ugly necessarily, just really not my type at all and maybe not many people type. For me to see someone as truly ugly, their insides must be ugly. I’ve known many pretty people who where just ugly inside and its amazing how hideous they begin to look.
But it was his personality, honesty and confidence that got my attention. You’ll be amazed how handsome he is today, but then I always thought so once I got to know him. Only now its not just my opinion.

kyanblue's avatar

Ugly? Or just that I didn’t notice their looks until I got to know them better?

I’ve definitely had the latter experience…I think, fundamentally, it gets harder and harder to distinguish how people look from how people act as you get to know them. A pretty person with a great personality is drop-dead gorgeous, and a pretty person with a spiteful personality gets described as “fake” or just mean-looking. At a certain point it’s impossible to see a person from a completely detached perspective and only look at them superficially—because you realize how kind, how funny, how witty, how smart he or she is, and that drowns out everything else.

Besides, everyone is beautiful in certain ways. It just might take some time to notice.

kheredia's avatar

There’s always something beautiful in everybody.

faye's avatar

I think Donald Southerland is sexy! For me it has never been the looks beyond obvious cleanliness, but sense of humour and intelligence, etc. And, of course, beer never makes anyone less appealing.

WolfFang's avatar

Yeah I remember there are some girls that after I’ve been around them for awhile, after I get to know them and all, They begin to be pretty attractive. I don’t think I was delusional, some people just don’t need looks to be attractive, sometimes it’s all about the personality traits, and how you see them as a person ;)

Roby's avatar

I expect some unatractive men have had some pretty girlfriends out there some where…I just never experienced it. It’s one of my lifes utmost regrets.

ucme's avatar

As my dear old Grandma once told me, “you don’t look at the mantle piece when you poke the fire” Same principle applies when having sex with an “ugly” girl. Happy days.

JeffVader's avatar

I’ve been told that the women I think a beautiful are odd looking….... personally I disagree.

OpryLeigh's avatar

When I first met my boyfriend I wasn’t attracted to the way he looked at all. I didn’t think he was ugly he just wasn’t, what I thought was, my “type”. Gradually as I got to know him and became more and more attracted to his personality I also became more and more attracted to the way he looks and now I think he’s the most gorgeous man in the world!

Primobabe's avatar

Yes. He was short, chunky, nearly bald (which is sexy on some men, but wasn’t on this man), and most people would describe his face as “unattractive.” He was also brilliant and interesting, and I liked him.

le_inferno's avatar

Yes, my prom date actually. He was an awkward nerd, but from being in classes with him, I could tell that he was funny, smart and witty. I was always flustered around him and intimidated by him despite his appearance.
Then I got set up with him as a prom date; we went out alone once, and it was a godawful experience. In dealing with females, his awkwardness masked the qualities that attracted me to him. Go figure.

WolfFang's avatar

@kyanblue i know i agree completely! people begin to be viewed more and more by personality [at least by me] once you get to know them, i just recently realized this. I try to get my friends to see it this wsy but they ignorantly go by what is superficial over what is real

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