Meta Question

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

If you suddenly discovered that a Fluther member lived in your neighborhood, would you want to meet them?

Asked by RealEyesRealizeRealLies (30877points) April 20th, 2010

A few questions here because it’s happened to me…

First, let’s take for granted that you respect this person and consistently find their comments intelligent, reasonable, and mature. As well, it does seem the polite etiquette for acknowledging coincidence of the cosmos. And I must admit, I’m just plain curious.

But, I greatly value my online anonymity, sharing my true identity only with those I’ve formed longer term relationships with, or with fellow artisans that I respect.

Many viewpoints I openly share with Fluther are not so openly shared in my local reality. St. Louis is a small town, and my business thrives on relationships and reputation. My philosophical musings may be found offensive to some, and I’m not so convinced it is wise to mix business with fancy.

For instance, a good part of my business is portraiture of scientists and medical practitioners. Some might find my strong beliefs about evolution, and Theism, to be offensive. I’m always careful to discover their beliefs before I share my own.

As well, I speak a great deal about my children, and XXX relationships gone sour over the years. Is it wise to tempt fate of the rumor mill? A comment made here is designed to help others with my experience, and also to express harmless sarcasm as a stress relief. Yet those same comments taken out of context could be misinterpreted, and misused as the fuel that flames old fires to burn again. Nothing to take lightly when courts and child custody issues are involved.

How close do you bring your online experience to home? Is it best to leave some things alone? Or does curiosity and consideration mandate a personal encounter?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

137 Answers

Sophief's avatar

It just depends who it is I guess. Probably half the people in my Fluther I would want to meet, the other half not.

rangerr's avatar

I have a Fluther member 5 minutes away from me.
Haven’t met up with her yet, but I totally would.
YOU HEAR THAT, MISS LADY?

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

No, because then they would find out that I’m actually a big ol’ fat dude and my avatar is the last little girl I ate ! OOOPS~~~~!!!!

Arp's avatar

I may one day meet ducky_dnl, who lives in the same area as me… I lurve you, ducky!

Mariah's avatar

HAHA, I used to have daydreams about this with the site I migrated to fluther from. I like to imagine running into one of you in a freak accident. It makes me giggle.

But yeah, in reality, it could be a little weird. I’d probably give it a go, though, if it was a flutherite I knew fairly well!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Mostly I’d be okay with that, I think. There are only a few jellies that I regret having to share the planet with.

CMaz's avatar

Yes. Then we could have Fluther BBQ’s.

partyparty's avatar

Yes I would certainly want to meet them.
We are naturally curious, and it would be this curiosity that would want me to see the real person.

Your_Majesty's avatar

I think that would be impossible for me. I live far far away from most people in this site. I might be the only person from my country that get here.

Steve_A's avatar

For some reason, regardless of who it is I’d rather not meet anyone just in general. Which is why I also never post any pics of myself that only increases the possibility.

tinyfaery's avatar

Depends on who it is.

erichw1504's avatar

Not if it was @ChazMaz.

(He smells)

CMaz's avatar

@erichw1504 – Now I know we would be good friends. :-)

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

It really depends on who it was. There are a few jellies who I’d consider taking a road trip to meet, and some I would meet up with only if they lived in the same town. And there are some who I wouldn’t want to meet if they lived next door, but only a few.

gailcalled's avatar

I do have one living nearby. We decided for the moment to let our fantasies remain just that.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I wouldn’t go looking for someone just because they lived in my town and visit this site.
I’ve met people from the net before and I maintain contact with one. That’s a situation where it’s genuine friendship rather than, “hey aren’t you LoveMe_LeaveMe382? Remember that thing you said? That was sooo funny!”

iphigeneia's avatar

Absolutely, this is a small town, but there are a couple of people here I knew before I knew them on Fluther. If there’s anyone else, we’ve probably bumped into each other more than once without knowing it.

Because I already know people from Fluther, I’ve never put anything out there that I wouldn’t want people to know about me. Besides, I’m pretty open anyway. I may be shy when it comes to meeting new people, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like it.

slick44's avatar

I want to meet some of them that dont live close.

Jude's avatar

It would depend on who it is for me, as well.

I could easily see having a brew at a pub with Gris, Allie, Epony, Kata, J0E, chells, Facade, rranger, Simone de B., and tinyfaery.

Having a backyard bbq/campfire with the jon and his blond, JeffGB, wtf, and I’ll bring the missus.

phillis's avatar

It doesn’t matter to me, since I am the same person online that I am in real life. I don’t really have to worry about facing any lies, half-truths, omissions, or misleads I spouted online. I would be curious how relationships would change, though. Some that I don’t get on with online might be a totally different story irl.

Cruiser's avatar

I think it would be an absolute riot to meet certain Jellies here and even the stubborn ones who disagree with everything I say. ;)

john65pennington's avatar

It does not matter. yes, i would want to meet a fellow Fluther. why not? you converse with each other all day long and wonder what this person actually looks like, so yes.

Zen_Again's avatar

That really depends on the jellie, eh?

Coloma's avatar

@phillis

I hear you there!

Yep, me too. I am exactly as I present myself, where a few I have met from other forums over the years were not, the real life selves were not even close to their online personas. Operative word…persona.

So to answer the question, yes, I am always up for an adventure, but don’t ever create any fantasies of those I meet online till I actually do meet them in person.

ucme's avatar

As is obvious it would entirely depend on who it was, some yeah why not go for it could be fun,others good god no.Easy come easy go.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes. With the assumptions given about their comments on fluther, I would be fine meeting them if they were interested.

phillis's avatar

@Coloma Fun, ain’t it? I love knowing someone for years, only to find out later they never even existed :(

jfos's avatar

I would, but who else could possibly live in the South Jersey / Philadelphia region?

rangerr's avatar

@jjmah You’d take little old me to a pub? D’awww.

jazmina88's avatar

@chazmaz BBQ jellies…...

I’d like to meet some jellies…...if they are sweet ones.

JLeslie's avatar

@jfos I am pretty sure a few jellies live there. I live in a small town outside of Memphis, and another flutherite shops in the same supermarkets I do.

phillis's avatar

I can easily picture having a few jellies for barbequeing.

jfos's avatar

@JLeslie Most likely. I live in a pretty densely populated region. What you said got me thinking that it would be funny to meet someone on Fluther that I know at work or school. Then I thought, what if it was me? In a few seconds, I was playing out a Fight Club-esque fantasy of me and my split personality both Fluthering and acknowledging each other’s existence. Hmm… Maybe you are actually me. I don’t think I’d pick sunflowers, though.

Buttonstc's avatar

I think my curiosity would win out over caution.

I did have a not so good experience meeting someone from another site several years ago which was rather disappointing as they ended up being quite different from how they represented themselves.

But everybody is different. But I’m understandably cautious about mixing online and RL. But there are definitely some folks I would look forward to meeting just for the lulz.

Cruiser's avatar

@phillis Me too but I think you’d have to wrap them in tinfoil first with some garlic! Yum!

janbb's avatar

@phillis I’ve skewered some Jellies at times but ‘having a few jellies for barbequeing” seems a bit extreme.

john65pennington's avatar

I would love to meet LLD. thats Lonelydragon. she is small, so i nicknamed her Little Lonely Dragon. she has a new boyfriend and Happydragon would be an appropriate new name for her.

janbb's avatar

Hearkat and I discovered we lived nearby in New Jersey and met for breakfast in the Fall. There are a few others I would be happy to meet in person at some point if the opportunity arises.

phillis's avatar

@janbb I just need a jelly to hand turn the spit :D

@Cruiser Wrapping? Why didn’t I think of that! I could wrap them around corn on the cob :)

JLeslie's avatar

@jfos I think casheroo might live near you? I might remember incorrectly. There was a thread asking why people make fun of New Jersey, and there were several Jersey jellies on there.

Cruiser's avatar

@phillis Jelly-ka-bobs!! Yum!

casheroo's avatar

I like near a certain monkey. I just haven’t had time to go see him, but we’ve talked about it. And whenever I go to his work, he’s not working! lol

dalepetrie's avatar

I’d gladly meet anyone, with only a small few exceptions. So far I’ve only encountered one other person from the Twin Cities, MN area though and our interactions have been far too few and brief for such a meeting to have ever crossed my mind.

Jude's avatar

Any jellies near Windsor/Detroit/London, Ontario?

hearkat's avatar

@jfos: There are actually a good number of us in the South Jersey/Philly area… I’ve suggested having a get-together in a number if threads on the topic. If you expand the range to the NYC and DC regions, there are even more Jellies I’d love to meet!

As @janbb noted; she and I met in the fall for breakfast. I’d love to get together with her again.

As for anonymity concerns, meeting up with someone doesn’t mean that they have to know your whole history! I don’t think I told Jan my last name, which I would share with some, but not others… that is why I have a Hearkat Facebook page separate from the page I use for old school friends and such.

I did have one well-renowned Jelly tell me that privacy concerns would prevent him from meeting up. But he has gone to great lengths to protect his identity on the site, and I can respect his wishes.

janbb's avatar

@hearkat Well, if you weren’t so gosh darn busy in RL!

chyna's avatar

Yes, I would want to meet them. There are a few I would love to hang out with, have a beer or BBQ with. Or maybe even a chocolate ice cream cone. :-)

janbb's avatar

Barbeques seem to be the recurrent theme here!

CMaz's avatar

Well it is summer. :-)

janbb's avatar

@ChazMaz In Florida!

beautifulbobby193's avatar

I think a personal encounter would be worth it, provided of course that the other person is of the opposite sex and intercourse is on the agenda.

chyna's avatar

@beautifulbobby193 Really, you are the horniest or most promiscuist person on here.

MissAnthrope's avatar

It would depend a lot on who it is, but I’d be open to the idea.

Nullo's avatar

Yes and no. Certainly, I like the idea. But at the same time, I rate my social skills a tad higher than those of an inebriated chimpanzee. I dread the potential for the Awkward Silence that lurks in every coffeeshop encounter.
If I knew the person well, or if we met at some kind of event, I would have no reservations.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@phillis I can easily see barbequing barbequeing grilling a few jellies, too.

If anyone is interested in making a Fluther Meetup® via meetup.com, I’d be happy to contribute towards the cost of the setup. I don’t want to administer the thing, though.

Coloma's avatar

I would hostess a picnic in the Sierra foothills for the Northern California flutherers…

Social planning is one of my strengths!

Sarcasm's avatar

Only if they were cool.
That’s why I haven’t met up with @Dr_C.

I’m not afraid to meet up with Jellies for the sake of my reputation or anything. I just think that a meeting would be like “Omg hey this is so cool to know someone from Fluther and meet them IRL! .. So…. um… .... What do we talk about… uh…... ...Well… Alright, nice meeting you! Bye!” So I dunno if it’s worth bothering.

CMaz's avatar

Ya’ll are welcome to stop by. Have a beer (or tea).

Buttonstc's avatar

@jmah

I’m in the Detroit Metro area and I believe that Arisztid mentioned that he and his wife, Keysha, live in Michigan.

But Michigan is a really really big state what with the UP and all. I have absolutely no idea if they would have any interest in a RL meeting.

JLeslie's avatar

We should meet at a Michigan State football game :). JOE is in Michigan, and there are several others.

Buttonstc's avatar

Interesting. Are those games free to the general public?

Trillian's avatar

There are a few jellies with whom I would like to break bread and share stories. I might could do a Michigan thing. I’m from Detroit and I still have family all over the state. Maybe a year from now after I graduate and my life slows back down….

Berserker's avatar

Probably. If it was a friend, for sure I’d want to meet them. If it’s anyone else, fuck being so serious, let’s just meet and have a good time.

rebbel's avatar

I am with @phillis , i am myself here as much as offline.
But i have no idea how one would recognise a fellow Flutherite live.
Do you all wear badges when out and about?

chyna's avatar

@rebbel There is a fluther photobucket where quite a few of us have posted pictures. Assuming those are real pictures, I would recognize those flutherers. Also, quite a few are friends on facebook.

rebbel's avatar

@chyna
A Fluther photobucket?
Where can i find such a thing?

rebbel's avatar

Thank you very much, @rangerr !

JLeslie's avatar

@Buttonstc No :) the games are not free. It’s just that I sometimes come up for a game (I live in TN) and with all of you talking about MI it sounded good to me.

JLeslie's avatar

Valdasta went to State also. There is someone else who lives in MI, I cannot think of her name right now.

rangerr's avatar

@JLeslie Ivan and boots are up there too.

JLeslie's avatar

Well, that’s it then. Delta has a huge hub in Detroit, so probably almost every Jelly can fly in non-stop. The party will be there. LOL.

rangerr's avatar

ORRRR. Everyone can decide they want to visit boring DC.
That way I can be lazy and not have to fly. :D

JLeslie's avatar

@rangerr Sounds good. The fam is still in Montgomery Village :).

jeanmay's avatar

I would love to meet a jelly if I could somehow know they fluthered but they didn’t know I did, so I could check them out ‘incognito’. Then if I really liked them I’d do a big dramatic reveal, ta daaaa! But I can’t imagine a situation where I figured out someone’s on-line persona without them having figured out mine. Also, the likelihood of finding a fellow flutherer in South Korea seems slim. Sniff

jrpowell's avatar

I found out that I lived a few blocks away from Judochop and NoCountry2. We went out and had dinner and drinks. It was surprising non-awkward. I though the conversation flowed and we had a good time and didn’t talk about Fluther stuff.

Nikipedia payed me a visit. All I will say about that is I fucked up really bad. Not rape bad, but I was nervous and drank a bit more then I should have. I was pretty wasted.

But we want to get a PDX BBQ going this summer. I have a huge backyard.

janbb's avatar

@jeanmay If I’m ever in South Korea, I’d be happy to meet you “cognito.”

jeanmay's avatar

@janbb How lovely of you to say so. Let me know, I’ll put the kettle on.

janbb's avatar

Shall I bring the scones?

jeanmay's avatar

@janbb Please do!

We will eventually leave SK and might settle in the U.S. one day; haven’t decided which side of the pond to put down roots.

hearkat's avatar

@janbb: Yeah, I know… first I roll my car over, now I’m getting a hysterectomy… the fun is endless!

janbb's avatar

@hearkat Oy! I thought you were having more fun than that!

chyna's avatar

@hearkat really, the hysterectomy isn’t that bad. Good luck with it.

kenmc's avatar

I’ve met a couple people that are on Fluther.~

Zen_Again's avatar

@boots Why is it sarcastic to say you met a few people from fluther?

meagan's avatar

No way, Jose. Not in a million years.

kenmc's avatar

@Zen_Again Not necessarily sarcastic, but joking. 2 people on Fluther I’ve met before Fluther existed.

beautifulbobby193's avatar

Any sexually active single (or gamey) female Fluther members living near London, Uk?

chyna's avatar

^^god help them if so. lol

CMaz's avatar

@beautifulbobby193 – You just stay away from our women. ;-)

Seek's avatar

Hey, if any Flutherites are in the Tampa area, they’re more than welcome to come to one of my Barbeques. Hell, if you’re ever here, we’ll throw one in your honor!

Any excuse for a party!

rangerr's avatar

I’m going on a roadtrip to see a Flutherite on Friday!

chyna's avatar

@rangerr Yea! Have a great time.

casheroo's avatar

@rangerr but it’s not me :(

janbb's avatar

Is it someone in New Jersey by any chance?

breedmitch's avatar

I’ve met two jellyfish this year. And I’ve talked to Ben’s mom on the phone.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@janbb “by chance” (in that way) you mean “because of really, really bad luck”, don’t you?

janbb's avatar

@CyanoticWasp While I’m sure that is meant as a diss on my poor maligned native state, I happen to know that rangerr has a dear fluther friend – not me – whom I was suggesting she might be visiting. So stick your cool patrician New England nose back down.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Yes, ma’am, @janbb. I was just playing on a popular misconception, as you surely know. New Jeresey is a lovely place to visit sometimes as long as you don’t have to drive through it.

If I were speaking of Cleveland, for example, I’d speak the same way, but with way more conviction.

Aethelwine's avatar

When it was discovered that my husband and I lived within 90 miles from a psychedelic zebra, we swapped phone numbers and were soon invited to his Halloween party. We couldn’t make the trip, but I’m hopeful we will one of these days.

Our backyard is open to any jelly that would like to sit by a fire, roast marshmallows and have a few drinks. :)

janbb's avatar

@CyanoticWasp You are forgiven, this time.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

@jonsblond I’ll be over at 5:30, with beer. :)

CMaz's avatar

I say us Florida Fluther people should meet.

It would be neat.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I would say “we” Florida people should congregate.
But I’m not from Florida, so that wouldn’t be so great.

CMaz's avatar

@CyanoticWasp – Duly noted. I concur.

Aethelwine's avatar

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities Sweet! None of that lite shit though. ;)

JLeslie's avatar

I’ll be in Florida mid May. But, won’t have time to meet up :(

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

@jonsblond You know I only drink the best (as long as you don’t count the Evan’s). :)

janbb's avatar

Meetup at Honeymoon Island?

chyna's avatar

I’m going to @jonsblond‘s bonfire. It’s sure to be fun. But I am bringing the lite stuff!

Seek's avatar

@janbb

Absolutely! Either there or Clearwater beach. Clearwater’s an easier sell for my hubby, as he’s a big fan of that oyster place right across the street. ^_^ (I’ll admit, so am I.)

janbb's avatar

We’re only down sporadically but we can shoot for it at some point for sure.

Seek's avatar

Ooh ooh ooh! Talking about Oysters, we should totally go to a Rays game, and hit the oyster bar in downtown St. Pete beforehand. Oysters as big as your head. Srsly.

lloydbird's avatar

@ChazMaz Do I detect a (potentially) good Documentary, if these proposals come to fruition?

CMaz's avatar

Hmmmmmm… No.

I was thinking of just eating food and having a few beers. ;-)

Sometimes you just have to let that work stuff go.

lazydaisy's avatar

Well, I don’t know enough people here, so no.
As you know, I am also extremely protective of my anonymity. There are a handful of folks from previous sites that I would meet and one that I actually have.

If you ever end up five minutes from me and don’t meet me for a cup of coffee, I’ll be pissed

lloydbird's avatar

@ChazMaz Your ”..work stuff..” sounds kinda interstin. I feel sorry that you appear to find it such a chore. Or am I mistaken?
@lazydaisy, I may or may not have a daughter called Daisy, but if I did, ( which I might have) I bet that she wouldn’t be lazy. :-)

CMaz's avatar

“feel sorry that you appear to find it such a chore.”
:-)
I have found over the years that there is a season for everything.

Many moons ago, when I was a photographer. Friends would ask me to photograph events of theirs. Like weddings and such.
I would turn it down, reason being. You are inviting me to enjoy your special day or to work for you.

As interesting as a documentary of all us Flutherers coming together could be.
I do it all day long.
I like to use my free time to enjoy my friends. It is not a chore, it is work, a lot of work to produce something of quality. Denying me the pleasure of enjoying that special day.

MY life has been/is about documenting things.
Sometimes it is just has to be about the moment.
I love the work I do, it is very rewarding. Monetarily and personally.

My ego never gets in the way of passing it on to someone else.

So I can just be Chaz.

:-)

lloydbird's avatar

Yeah but, surely, it would be about more than just some wedding or “such”.

Oh, and sorry for dragging you back to the coalface here. ;-)

Seek's avatar

@lloydbird

What do you do for a living?

How would you feel if you had to spend your day off at the beach doing that, instead of playing volleyball and snorkeling?

lloydbird's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I’m a Volleyball and Snorkelling Instructor. :-(

Seek's avatar

Liar liar, pants on fire.

lloydbird's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I have the diplomas to prove it.

chyna's avatar

@lloydbird Pictures of you in speedos or it never happened.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I love underwater volleball!

lloydbird's avatar

It’s the only way to go. And with great marine scenery too.

Zen_Again's avatar

The password is Vagina Nose.

Fernspider's avatar

Hold up, just hold up! You people are organising a damn BBQ… I am gatecrashing this one * hmph * ;)

CMaz's avatar

@Rachienz – You can’t. You are already on the guest list. :-)

Seek's avatar

Royals @ Rays Saturday night. After the Royals get their arses handed to them (again! anyone see that game last night? Holy cow!) ZZTop is playing. Yep. ZZTop. Be there or be square. If I’m lucky, I’ll be hanging out at the Oyster Bar a couple of hours before the game, too.

Fernspider's avatar

@ChazMaz, awwww thanks Chazmaz, I feel all warm and gooey inside :)

beautifulbobby193's avatar

I only add females to my Fluther if I feel I may like to sleep with them at some point.

casheroo's avatar

lol @beautifulbobby193 i like that @dpworkin is in your fluther.

gailcalled's avatar

@beautifulbobby193: Do they get a say in the matter?

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