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ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Would you/Did you choose a name for your child that your family didn't like?

Asked by ItalianPrincess1217 (11979points) April 21st, 2010

My mother has been asking what I plan to name my first baby (when the time comes). My fiance and I happen to both agree that the name Sophia is beautiful for a girl. My mother, however, strongly dislikes it. She seems to be the only one who doesn’t think it’s beautiful out of both families. When you had/have your baby, did/will you make sure the family loves it as much as you? Or is approval not important to you? Personally, I don’t care who approves. I have my own opinions. I don’t need everyone to agree with my choices. At the end of the day, I need to be in love with the name.

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38 Answers

ucme's avatar

Both of my children’s names my family loved. Ryan & Rebecca, what’s not to love ;¬}

Cupcake's avatar

As long as my husband and I like it… it’s cool. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

meagan's avatar

I don’t give a crap what my family thinks. I believe that once youre married, you make a new family and leave the old one behind.

I plan on naming my children ridiculous names that won’t be silly modern names like Ethan and Ian, etc, that people won’t approve of.
I’m a Meagan. Having a popular modern name isn’t a genius idea.

Seek's avatar

I’m sure my parents would hate every name I’ve chosen, as none of them are biblical. Eph them. They suck anyway. If I want to name my children after my favourite literary and legendary characters, I’ll do just that.

@meagan hey, my son’s name is Ian. ^_^ ‘Course, my husband picked that one.

Blackberry's avatar

Screw your mother, is she going to have the baby for you and provide financially for it?

Snarp's avatar

My family is polite enough not to tell me what they think of my kid’s names, seeing how it’s none of their business. Or else they just like them.

ubersiren's avatar

My mother hated every name we had in the running except the ones that we ended up picking. If it was a girl, I liked Tabitha, but she said it was “too Bewitched.” As if there is any name out there without an association of some sort… one boy name I liked was Booker, which my mother thought sounded “gay.” Whatever the fuck that means. I told her I liked Ozzy and she about had a heart attack. So, I didn’t tell her any more suggestions until the boys were born. She gave her final seal of approval for both Lincoln and Sawyer.

Pick names that will make you, the child, and your partner happy.

janbb's avatar

Your parents got to name you and you and your husband get to name your children. It’s that simple. If you don’t want to get feedback, it’s easiest not to float any names until the baby is born.

eden2eve's avatar

Since she is the only one who disapproves, I wouldn’t worry. Grandmothers don’t get to choose anyway, their job is to love the child unconditionally and support the parents.

The important thing is how the name will affect the child. I think that names have a strong bearing on the life experience for an individual. I chose names that were classical and different enough to be distinctive, but looking at how other could mess with it to give grief to the kid.

One of my friends had an unplanned child, and they named him David Allen Martin, fully aware and enjoying the fact that his initials were DAM. I thought that was a terrible thing to do!

casheroo's avatar

@ubersiren My mother liked the name Tabitha for me..but her sister had just had a Samantha (my cousin) and she said she couldn’t name me Tabitha because of that lol.
And I like the name Booker!

I got a bunch of crap for naming my son Cash. I constantly hear “is the next one gonna be credit?” or some stupid joke like that. I should have never told anyone the name we were thinking of, and really didn’t discuss names the second time around and if I did, it was mainly to throw my mother off the trail because otherwise she’d hate it.

Parker is what we ended up naming our second child, it’s actually my maiden name so it’s still sort of weird to my parents..and me to be honest. It’s a name I had for so long and now it just feels funny calling someone by it. My husband liked it though and it was the only compromise we could make.

The only opinion that matters is yours and your spouse.

Snarp's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217 Also, I think Sophia is a beautiful name, had we had a daughter it was in strong consideration.

ubersiren's avatar

@casheroo That’s too funny! Tabitha and Samantha in the same generation. And the last name thing reminds me… Lincoln’s middle name is my maiden name. When we were having Sawyer, my dad said “Just don’t name him Lincoln’s middle name because that would be weird.” Lol… I had to remind him that we already used it. Thanks, Dad.

cazzie's avatar

I have a niece whose name is Samantha… and she had a little girl and of course named her… Tabitha. Yeah, well…. mind boggles.

I LOVE Sophia, for what it’s worth. What’s not to like about that.. it’s strong AND feminine. Lovely.

We had a hard time with names. We both liked the name we ended up choosing but argued about the spelling. Hubby won, saying that the name had to be with a K and not a C because K’s aren’t used in Norway…. fine fine… I said.. and NOW the poor kid is going to have to go through his life saying (first name) with K and (last name) with C. Hubby must have forgotten temporarily that his last name started with a C…. hmm.

Of course, any name we came up with sounded pretty odd to my family in a different country…. My sister (who’s daughter is the Sam/Tab combo) really didn’t like any of the ideas we had… but we just ignored her. Not her business.

wonderingwhy's avatar

So long as my wife and I are in agreement, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

Trillian's avatar

I gave everyone who didn’t like the names I picked out for my kids short shrift. I went with; Jillian Alexandra, Nikolai Stephen, and Rhiannon Electra, though Rhiannon was close to being Raven Wintermoon.
This is your child. If your mom really wants to pick out a name, tell her to buy a dog. Sophia is lovely.

john65pennington's avatar

My dad first named me Jerry. Jerry? i do not not look or act like a Jerry. Jerry is a good name, but not for me. at the last minute, my mother changed my name to John.

Thanks, mom.

RedPowerLady's avatar

We didn’t tell anyone our baby’s name until our baby shower which took place shortly before she was born. I simply didn’t want to hear any negative feedback and wanted to make sure everyone knew we were stuck with the name. Thankfully anyone who may have a problem with it has kept their mouth shut. I say this is your choice. If your mother hates it that much she can come up with a special gramma-granddaughter nickname.

BTW Sophia is a pretty name! We named our LO Piper :)

wundayatta's avatar

Our parents never even knew which names we were discussing.

MissAusten's avatar

We thought about naming one of our kids Sophia, until my mom reminded me that she named her Yorkie Sophia. I was kind of bummed, but how can you explain to a kid why she’s named after Grandma’s dog? We found out we were having a boy though, so it didn’t really matter. I still love that name. :)

With our first two kids, we told people ahead of time which names we picked. Each time, there was someone who didn’t like the name. Our daughter is named Lauren, which we thought was somewhat unique. It turned out to be a very popular name that year! My grandma told me right from the start she didn’t like it, but it didn’t bother me. Next time around, we knew we were having a boy but couldn’t agree on a name. A couple of weeks before my due date, we decided to name him Carter. I wasn’t crazy about it, but it turned out to fit him really well. My mother hated the name Carter and still goes around telling people we named him after Jimmy Carter. WTF?? We just picked it because it was one name we could mostly agree on! We use family names for middle names, which no one seems to object to.

For our youngest, we didn’t tell anyone what we decided to name him. We picked the name Colson early on, which is my husband’s grandmother’s maiden name. If any of our relatives didn’t like it, they didn’t say anything! We decided to keep it a secret just to avoid hearing opinions and dealing with nonsense. It was also fun to just surprise everyone.

You can’t please all of the people all of the time. Best to politely ignore the opinions and go about your merry way!

MagsRags's avatar

19 years ago when my daughter was born, Zoe was not a popular name, although it is now. I could tell my MIL didn’t love it by the long pause during the phone conversation followed by an unenthusiastic “Oh. That’s nice”. We maintained the mutually unspoken agreement not to discuss the name choice in depth. I think everyone survived nicely.

Seek's avatar

@MagsRags – Gotta love mothers-in-law. I got “What kind of a name is ‘Eye-anne’?” My son’s name is Ian.

filmfann's avatar

My wife chose our daughters name: Rebecca Sue, after her friend Becky.
I wanted to name her Rebel. My family didn’t like either name.

When my son was born, it was my turn to pick. I wanted to name him Thelonius, but chose the family name of James David. My wife was very happy, and mentioned we now had our own Becky and Jim (her friend Becky’s husband is named Jim). I immediately changed his name to John David.
My family was, once again, unhappy with the name, since James David and David James are names that go back 10 generations in my family.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My mother’s always made faces when I told her of options but she knew her opinion wouldn’t really matter, to me and it didn’t. She only asked once to not name a child Alexander/Sasha because it was my brother’s name (he passed away) and I honored that request despite wanting to use the name. I wanted to name my first child either the name he has now (Alexey) or the name my second son has now (Arkadiy) and I let my ex-husband pick the name. When my second son was born I knew the name to use as it was another that I liked. Since then my husband and I have compiled a growing list of names but are pretty sure what we like.

casheroo's avatar

When I told my mother in law that I really liked the name Stone, she basically told me to expect the child to get made fun of. She feels the same way about Cash. Boohiss to that crap.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Your mother had her chance to name her children, now it’s your turn to name yours, when they come along. She’ll get over it. Mine did. She hated my daughter’s name and a month after the birth, told relatives I still hadn’t made up my mind about her name. She wanted me to give her a modern, popular name, instead of an old-fashioned one.

I love Sophia, by the way.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

My cousin is naming her daughter Broc. It’s not that I don’t really like it, I just don’t understand it.

thriftymaid's avatar

I didn’t consult my family when choosing my children’s names. I encouraged my daughter to do the same (but she still asked me if I liked her choices, which I did).

jenandcolin's avatar

I am pregnant now. We are expecting a son. At first, we wanted to name him something we liked or after one of our favorite sociologists (I am a sociologist), philosophers or poets (my husband is a philosopher and poet). Now we are going with a name that indicates a virtue (something like courageous).
When we didn’t know the sex we loved the name Adelaide. When I told my mom she just made a face like she was smelling something bad. Although I would like to say I didn’t let this alter my opinion of the name, it did. I no longer seriously considered the name. Although, my family has its fair share of odd names (Saphronia, Virgil, Neva, Naomi) so Adelaide really isn’t that odd…

PandoraBoxx's avatar

@py_sue, Broc is extremely unusual. Hopefully, her middle name isn’t “Olivia” and her last name “Lee”...

RedPowerLady's avatar

@jenandcolin Congrats! And I don’t find anything odd about Adelaide, sounds pretty to me

Da1flash's avatar

Name your child something your wife or husband can both be proud of. Also take your time and not just name your child something that came off the top of your head at the day of birth because later on some parents will realize how dumb they were for naming their child that. I have a lot of friends who hate thier names because their parents named after something cool instead they would be proud of. It can be both a good thing and a bad thing to hear an opinion of your paretns, but in the end, they will love them and see the child/children as a blessing no matter what the name is.

rojo's avatar

Also, be aware of the words the initials make when written together. Adelaide Saphronia Stevens will cause years of pain down the road.

LuckyGuy's avatar

We are still waiting breathlessly by our keyboards….. What did you decide? :-)
And, now, through the lens of time, how did it work out?

rojo's avatar

Hope you picked what you wanted, it is your child after all.

I have a good friend whose daughter picked “Marcus Aurelius” (not his real name) and the called him Aurelius (still not his real name) after he was born. My friend preferred Marcus (ditto) and tried calling him that for a while but eventually fell in line with the rest of the world and now calls him the same name everyone else in the world does.

I still wonder in a situation such as this, where you know from the start you will be calling the child by the “middle” name, why you don’t go ahead and make that the first name. It will make form filling out easier for his lifetime.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

This is such an old post but I figured I’d update! My first child was a boy and I chose the name Caiden. He’s 3 years old now and I still am absolutely in love with it. No regrets! My family really likes it too. My mother wasn’t convinced when she first heard it but now she will tell you how she can’t imagine her grandson being named anything else. I’m pregnant with a baby girl now and we have chosen the name Aria for her. This time around I didn’t ask for opinions. My husband and I both fell in love with the name and we have confidence in our choice :)

rojo's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217 Thanks for the update. You sound like you have become a little more self-assured in the intervening years between children.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Gosh. What an old question!

I wanted to name my daughter Jaquelin Marie. However, the day after she was born, Mom came to the hospital and pressured me to name her after her. Well, Mom’s name was Cornelia. I was not gonna go there with my baby, so I settled for Corrie.

Having started on a family tree for my mom’s side of the family, Corrie fits right in. There are ancient “Cornelia“s and “Cornelius“s, and more recent “Corrianna“s and such.

Wish GailCalled was here to tell me where to put the “s” for the plural of the names~inside or outside of the quotation marks? :(

rojo's avatar

My daughter was saying yesterday how she sort of regrets naming her daughter Sophia; not that she does not still like the name but that there are soooo many Sophie/Sophia’s our there and a large percentage are all around the same age as her Sophie. There are reasons not to go with the pack and pick the most popular name around.

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