What to do if I have big talent & passion in music, yet I am lazy, confused, and scared too much?

You are looking for a magic bullet? That is a very long queue that you have joined. Maybe you should work on “Un-lazying” yourself.

Shut down your computer. Find some mates to play music with. Just start playing, jamming, composing, anything. You make something that’s shitty. You try again. It’s shitty. You continue. And continue. And somewhere along the great road of not going anywhere, you WILL get somewhere. I also suggest reading some William Blake and (if you can get your hands on it) some of the danish poet Dan Turell.

Talent doesn’t matter. No matter how good you are, if you don’t have the will to use your “talent”, it’s no use. Also, you’re quite lucky. Perfect pitch? Being able to sing a note from out of nowhere. That’s an ability few possess. But none of it all matters if you don’t get yourself together.

So simply walk away from your computer, get out, and well, play on the street, play at a bar, play somewhere, promote yourself. There aint noone who’se gonna do it but yourself. No one who can for that matter.

Sounds like you are a perfectionist? You are not lazy. Once you have an interest in something I bet you spend all day researching it. Laziness is an excuse to not be productive. Procrastination stems from being a perfectionist and fear of failing at something. I think you need a safety net. If you fail at being a professional musician, you can do something else along the lines like compose melodies for movies or video games or teach music.
Failing at something does not diminish your worth as a person. People fail all the time, but they are diligent enough to keep striving.

“The difference between a successful man and a failure is that a failure has only failed once”

“You only have one life. Time is short and you can’t have it back”

@OliverYoung

“Talent doesn’t matter. No matter how good you are, if you don’t have the will to use your “talent”, it’s no use.”

@brinkofit, you’ve made a good assessment!
yes I admit that I am a perfectionist, and this is testified already by my previous band members. in fact, I got out from the band because it’s either they can’t “keep up” no longer with me (my ability, my ‘instructions’, etc), or that I am too tired already to have my songs turned into less than perfect arrangement.
also, I’m an idealistic type of person too, that I can’t seem to agree with many views (including my friends’ and parents’) on music, or what is considered “good” music”, and maybe that’s why I usually got so many dissapointments and question marks in my life (because Life is never ideal?..).

and the worst thing about it is that it seems to spill over into my other areas of life,
such as i’m always constantly trying to find the PERFECT answer to how to make a succesful music career, by browsing endlessly and even finding the perfect website, or eBook to ensure my ‘safety net’ in my music plan, plan and more plans,....but sadly, time suddenly flies by, and I’ve found that I’ve procrastinated in making the ACTUAL REAL thing (ie: finishing music projects, music compositions of mine, updating my music website, etc)!...which is quite a very sad thing to do, and I’m further stuck in my own rut.

Maybe you should try some studio/session work?

maybe its just your personality… have you even done a myers-briggs survey?

also, my perfectionistic nature also stabbed back in the form of procrastinating EVER in making & finishing a demo (I’ve lost like 2 or 3 big, major important opportunities because of this :( ).
Also currently, there are 3 “groups” of people waiting for my music demo, yet I felt so ‘stuck’ & confused, because I feel that my demo HAS to be 100% perfect exactly like what I hear in my head! otherwise, I would feel soo much discouraged because the real-finished product didn’t turn out as what’s in my head.
I felt that I’ve let these people down BIG time :(
but I can’t help it, in fact, I cursed myself even more, and procrastinated even more, got so tired and feel “maybe I’m too old already at 28”, and found myself sleeping easily, and got even more depressed & empty as I wake up.

What are you going to do when you run out of excuses? Does the thought of that worry you?

Seriously, shut down your computer. Stop researching. Stop thinking. Just do it. You don’t need anymore of all the thinking that you’re so fond of. You need to act. And you should start right now. Making calls to people/friends to get bands together or to music producers to get a demo together or see if some band needs someone (what do you even play?) with your ability. Also, I can strongly recommend opening up to music genres you might now normally listen to.

@Steve_A by “session musicians”, do you specifically mean musicians who will do 100% exactly like what i told ‘em to do, or just simply find any other musician who’s willing to collaborate with me in a “band” format?
thankfully, just yesterday I’ve found a friend who’s interested in working with me & my music (he likes my stuff a lot). but then again, I’ve easily imagined the ‘worst case’ scenario: what if he (or other musicians) won’t understand my concepts/ideas, and thus, just like the case with my previous band, the song turned out to be ‘less interesting’ or very ‘different’ from what I have in mind/my head?
what to do about this? it keeps bugging me endlessly.

@talljasperman I love myers-briggs, as it described me very accurately, I felt.
I’ve tested like about 7 times already (ever since I got introduced with it in college time), and my result is always INFP. I’ve read that INFPs are actually people who never able finish things (ie: hence INFP = I Never Finish Projects),..ouch,..but when you’re 28 yrs old and have all these family expectations & society’s pressure, it’s not that ‘cute’ anymore, and hence, I do need to find the solution to this problem quickly, or my life will be miserable and everybody in my family (especially Asian family) will see me with one eye & got majorly dissapointed in what I do with my life (I already dissapointed some of them, mainly because by not fulfilling their expectations & wishes)!

Well, what you can do is set aside SCHEDULED times to do things you’ve always wanted to do in your life. First start off small like wanting to go to a baseball game. It just clears your mind. When you know in your mind that you will get to have some fun, it is easier to work. When you work divide everything up into small pieces so the work isn’t overwhelming. In addition, before you go to a scheduled ‘fun’ time, try to work for 30 minutes before you go, that way some new ideas can come to you while you are out having fun.

The book on procrastination “The Now Habit” can do wonders for perfectionism, procrastination and production

Stop using drugs, if you are. Make a list each day of what you must accomplish tomorrow and stick to it. You’ll find yourself getting more done as the days go by.

Also, it might help if you discontinue thinking that everyone other than you is “normal.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIbBz0OCfYg
Watch that and see if you’re moved of not.
You’ve got huge potential dude, gathered from what I’ve read. I’d hate to see it wasted.

Your question was definetely long. when i was 13, i also realized i had a special musical talent. i could keep a perfect beat and was well-coordianated to attempt to learn to play a set of drums. at first, i was scared ghostless. i knew what i wanted to do and i knew the calling was there, i just had to devise a plan to get my rear in gear and starting practicing. i was a lazy teenager at that time. i woke up one morning and the angel of music hit me between the eyes. i had to make a move that day, for the rest of my life. i knew what i had to do. i looked in the mirror and said this is a new day for you for the rest of you life. i began banging on old pots and pans to old 45s i had. my dad soon bought me a used set of drums and the rest is history. i cannot make you make your move, its entirely up to you. i will say this, if you have a God-given talent, do not let it go to waste. this may be your one and only call to destiny for your future. john

How long did it take you to write that question? Think of what you could have sung, played or written during that time.

I read only the beginning and end of the question due to typos, repetition and lack-of-clarity. Get moving (or tale with a therapist who can help you get back on the horse.)

Start small. Build up slowly. Get support, meaning cheerleaders and people who’ll (lovingly) push you. Don’t expect perfection, just do something. People are always so hard on themselves when hardly anyone else cares so much about perfection.

Weavers in Iran purposely will weave a mistake in their rugs to remind themselves that they’re only human. do your heartfelt best, but don’t compare yourself to your idols. Think “love” and not “profit”. Good luck!

I agree with @DarkScribe you asked this question before and apparently nothing has changed so quit wasting yours and our time on this subject. Success in the music business takes drive, determination and commitment. Ya gotta want it…you gotta taste it you have to be hungry and driven enough to go 24/7 until you achieve that dream. Tip tapping on a keyboard on line will get you nowhere fast. Start a blog for dreamers like yourself.

There are at least four components that go into a typical recording: a poem, a melody, a performance, and a production (that is, the recording process itself). The archetypal modern musician does most or all of the first three, sometimes all four. There are certainly benefits to such an arrangement, but what are the costs? What does the status quo leave us lacking? The skills necessary for each component of a recording require talent, education, and work. It is unreasonable that the musical community expects one artist to be so good at so many things, that one artist should possess such widespread talent, so good an education, so much free time, and so much motivation. There are countless examples of musicians who excel in one or two areas but not in others. Maybe you can think of a musician who writes boring melodies but with poetry that really catches your attention. Perhaps you are so floored by the way another musician composes melodies, that you can ignore his or her trite lyrics. Or maybe you can’t get enough of the way some singer brings a simple love song to life with subtleties. What if the three of them got together? And why shouldn’t they? Let’s face it; most musicians are best at one or two components. The musicians who can do everything just well enough are the musicians who might get heard. Most often, it seems, they are the outstanding performers. And if you are not a performer—if you are just a poet, or just a songsmith—then finding an audience will be a struggle. Basically, long story (which this was) short, you have to do these four things or collaborate with others that can… and really a fifth thing in your case… you have to market it. And it’s BS that in today’s music industry that that’s the case, but it’s true… no major label will sign you until you’ve shown you can draw crowds and sell you music on your own. Making it in the music industry is hard today. They’ll no longer risk their money setting up an unknown. You really have to consider playing hundreds of gigs, becoming a local, then regional success. You have to also consider living in one of the big three (NYC, LA, or Nashville…) or to a lesser extent Chicago and paying your songwriting dues by writing for someone else who’s out there already. Or, I second @Steve_A‘s suggestion of session work because it provides an income, or consider teaching music lessons, or both, while you’re working on your own music. But you gotta be self motivated – musicians are rarely pushed out of bed by anyone else, and must be fueled by their love of making music.

Society rewards greed down to the fundamental level. People who support their natural desire to help humanity instead of the conventional push to serve community get stuck in the rut where they have no drive because they see no point in it—why help only yourself and your confused, insulated community?

Be selfish. That’s how you win in this fucked up world. The pointlessness of it all compounds upon itself when you realize that this system is unstable and soon to collapse. But ignore that. That’s how you succeed.

Other than that, desperation will eventually push you along. There’s no real standing still.

Even though its only cheaters that win, it’s still only losers that want to change how the game works. So, what is it? Cheater or Loser?

edit: talk and not “tale.”

you sound like me…..do it or you will have regrets. You only have 1 life, 1 person with your soul.
Make the music of your heart.

Depending on where you live, sometimes there are available audiences all over too – e.g. playing in popular public parks, public transit stations, etc. Sometimes just planning to play for people can be serious motivation.

Depression. you are dealing with depression. no doctor here, but you need one. once you are on the proper medication, it will turn your life around and then you can pursue your interest in music.

If you have a God-given talent, do not let it go to waste. seek medical help. your family and your friends will then be proud of you for two reasons: you recognized your problem and did something about it and your musical ability may just earn you money. only you can do this.