Social Question

Rangie's avatar

How strong can a friendship be, before it crosses the line?

Asked by Rangie (3656points) May 2nd, 2010

Hypothetically speaking, when does a friendship cross the line, from friendship to more than friends?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

31 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

When you’ve made out and you were sober. When you’ve expressed feelings to each other. Even if you never want to make out again, you were still more than friends that one time and things will be different from then on.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

When you really have deep feelings for the other person, made out (not drunk), I don’t know more

DrBill's avatar

The line is where both of you put it.

chyna's avatar

When there is gropeage.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir that is funny. sober. would a person do something different if they weren’t sober? I always thought a drunk person wouldn’t do anything they wouldn’t do sober, or is that something else?

Disc2021's avatar

@DrBill I agree. I think the answer to this question depends entirely on which friendship we’re discussing; each friendship could be very unique.

For me, a friendship is compromised as soon as it transcends a certain physical barrier.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Rangie Well, it’s been a while since I drank but I can see how I’d make out with a lot more people if drunk and it wouldn’t mean anything.

DrBill's avatar

@Disc2021

Let’s not forget Friends with benifits

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Well, I can’t say I have been in that position. Too sheltered of a life I guess, and now too old to try it. :)

Rangie's avatar

@DrBill what do you mean, friends with benefits?

Supacase's avatar

@Rangie Drinking lowers your inhibitions. You will do things you would not do while sober, especially if it is something you want to do but are holding back on.

Example: I am terrified of singing karaoke. There is no possible way. Nope, not gonna happen. I am very reserved and I. cannot. sing. When I drink, I secretly want someone to force me to give it a try.

Rangie's avatar

@Supacase Has anyone succeeded in getting you up there?

Supacase's avatar

@Rangie Once, as part of a quintet. I didn’t sing loud or into the microphone, so it doesn’t really count.

Disc2021's avatar

@DrBill Surely =D. If two people’s friendship allows for that then it’s still a friendship. I find that when I venture onto that route, I’m treading on shaky waters. When you’re touching a friend the way you’d touch someone you love, what’s to stop either person from thinking “What if that last time really meant something? ”.

@Rangie “Friends with benefits” is a term that describes a friendship with a certain… “sexual” benefit. In other words, friends that have sex.

Seaofclouds's avatar

It depends on the friendship. Some friendships have stricter lines than others (like the friends with benfits). Usually, a friendship crosses the line when romantic feelings are developed and the person with the romantic feelings no longer is happy with being “just friends”.

DrBill's avatar

@Rangie
Friends with benefits
Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment

@Disc2021
Some people can, some cannot.

Rangie's avatar

@Disc2021 I have never had a friend with benefits, I can’t imagine that. I don’t mean to sound like a prude, but that sounds like a waste of feelings to me.

Rangie's avatar

What if you never physically met each other. Can a line be crossed then?

xxii's avatar

When you feel guilty becoming romantically or physically involved with someone else. This can be anything from flirting with someone at a party, going on a date with someone you just met, kissing/having sex/everything in between with your “real” partner… when you would feel uneasy having your actions be public knowledge.

The line is where you (and all parties involved) put it. When you start questioning yourself about whether your actions are excusable or not, that friendship’s not a friendship anymore.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

What line? There’s people that bump uglies as a way of saying hello.
The lines of friendship are only limited by the limits those friends set.
Some friends love to have each others junk in their mouths.

Rangie's avatar

@xxii You say physically involved, what if you have not met in person?

Rangie's avatar

@Captain_Fantasy okay, what are uglies? Sounds like something I don’t want to bump or touch. What am I out of touch with everything today? I have no idea what all of these little sayings you all have, mean. Is it my age?

chyna's avatar

@Rangie “Bumping Uglies” is just having sex. Your vajayjay, his penis are what is referred to as “uglies”.
I think you have been a bit sheltered, I don’t think it’s your age.

Rangie's avatar

@chyna yes, I guess you are right. I just feel so stupid that I have to ask what these thing are. I do know from my granddaughters what “the girls” means. :o)

gailcalled's avatar

Jimmy Carter admitted “having lusted in his heart.” He got a lot of grief for that; it certainly seems mild today, given the answers above as a sample.

xxii's avatar

@Rangie – That’s what I’m saying. Say you correspond with this friend/more-than-friend only over the Internet. When you start feeling guilty about the things you do in the physical world, like being intimate or romantic with other people… that’s when you should start questioning yourself. When you feel uneasy about telling this friend/more-than-friend about your upcoming date this weekend or this hot guy/girl you met at a club.

Rangie's avatar

@xxii Remember this is hypothetical. I have not been in this situation, so I don’t have a lot of input here. Just wondering how others feel about crossing the line and where it is. Excellent answers

xxii's avatar

@Rangie – No speculation or judging here. Just trying to bring the situation to ground-level for comprehension purposes.

Rangie's avatar

@xxii Thanks, your answers are very gently presented.

Disc2021's avatar

@Rangie I agree 100%.

Response moderated (Spam)

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther