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Adirondackwannabe's avatar

What was your most recent culinary disaster and how did it turn out?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (36630points) May 3rd, 2010

We’ve all had some things that went wrong in the kitchen. Sunday I decided to make pizza from scratch with a whole wheat crust. I mixed the dough and let it rise for an hour, assembled the pizza on my peel, and went over to the oven. Holding the peel in left hand, opened the door with right hand and caught the peel with the corner of the door as I opened it. Turned peel vertical and dumped entire pizza on floor. Much profanity ensued. Fortunately, dough recipe was for two pizzas, so I could start with a new crust. Any other calamities out there.

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17 Answers

CMaz's avatar

I put chicken wings in the toaster oven. Sunday for lunch, but instead went out.

CRAP! They are still in there.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Tried to culture feta cheese, 48 hours later it was as liquidly as when we started – that’s going in the loss column. Last week I slow cooked eggs on the stove for my wife for breakfast. She didn’t see the note, so I tried crispy golden brown eggs with hot sauce on whole wheat bread as a before dinner snack – wasn’t half bad. Grilled breakfast yesterday morning, wasn’t paying enough attention and poked a hole through the foil holding the bacon… woosh! As Metallica would say, “Blackened is the end…” Oooo and let’s not forget the cream cheese cake from last month where I didn’t find out that the ring wasn’t sealing tight to the base until after about a quarter of it had pooled on the bottom of the oven – what was left was both decadent and delicious though.

mcbealer's avatar

I went to the bakery Saturday morning and bought a focaccia round to make pizza. I even stopped by the store and bought some sauce.

Fast forward 5 hours later after grueling lawn work it’s time for lunch. It’s about then that I realized I didn’t buy any cheese and had to use a Mexican blend we keep on hand for nachos.

It turned out edible, but the cheddar content made for a plastic-like cheese layer. Not very aesthetically pleasing!!

erichw1504's avatar

Boiling water.

wilma's avatar

Mistakenly putting cayenne pepper instead of cinnamon in my families oatmeal.
YIKES!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@wilma Ouch! I like cayenne alot, but not with oatmeal.

deni's avatar

hahahaha that is a calamity. how disappointed you must have been for a second, @Adirondackwannabe . mmm pizza. i was making alfredo sauce from scratch and trying to make it simmer near the end of the process and i turned the heat up LITERALLY a quarter of a number. i was standing with my back to it while my boyfriend was standing at the stove tending to his burger and suddenly i heard the dreadfull SSCHCHHHHHHHH of something hot overflowing and there goes my sauce. instead of moving the pot, my his brain apparently stopped working and he said “uh…uh! overflowing!” i turned around and was in the middle of eating a strawberry so i wasn’t going to put it down when he was standing right there so i said WELL MOVE IT YOU’RE RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then he did but half the sauce was already everywhere but in the pan. a damn shame. such a retarded moment for both of us.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@deni What is it about an overflowing pot that causes a brain freeze? That must have been one hell of a mess to clean up.

deni's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe it was SO GROSS. it almost prompted me to ask a question on here “what is so gross about dust?” hahaha because while cleaning it up i had to lift up the thing you set the pot on and then the metal tray-type thing under that and the sauce was everywhere and THICK by that point at the bottom level of the burner. god it was so disgusting. everytime i wiped up a spongeful and rinsed it off i gagged. there was some nasty shit down there.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@deni I hesitate to do this, but what the hell. I can out gross that. (You guys didn’t expect any less from me did you?) I was adopted by two golden retrievers that had been abandoned. Thye were always eating their own crap. I put them in the back of my girlfriends car and went to pick her up from work. They got nervous and both puked all over in the back of the car, and it was mostly crap. What a frigging nightmare to cleanup.

deni's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe that is really foul. i bet the smell was overwhelming. one time we left my dog in the car on a fairly hot day for like 5 minutes while i went into the store with my mom…we came out and she had had diahrrea all over the back seat. which was leather. it was hot. the windows were down but it didn’t do much. it WAS MARINATING IN THERE. it was really awful. :)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@deni That’s the ticket. Hold breath, stick head in car, swipe with paper towel, gag, and pull out.Hey, that would make a great name for a band. Right up there with Goats with Boners.

poofandmook's avatar

@wonderingwhy: Lurve for a relatively obsure Metallica lyric.

ucme's avatar

Burnt toast.A michelin star is not currently forthcoming.

poofandmook's avatar

@ucme: Oh. My. Goodness. I’ve been watching Gordon Ramsay and reading his autobiography and I could have really been happy to never hear the term “Michelin star” again. And really, I can’t make the connection between tires and fine dining.

ucme's avatar

@poofandmook I tire of hearing about him over exposure never a good thing.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I don’t own a toaster but wanted to serve a toasted halved bagel with breakfast for my partner. What I did was to butter a skillet and lay the halves down to warm and slightly brown but what happened was blackened crusties so I sliced that part off, buttered the warm part and put it on the plate. No problems were reported ;p

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