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guesswho's avatar

Do you think 2 people should have the same beliefs to have a successful life-long marriage?

Asked by guesswho (133points) March 12th, 2008 from iPhone
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

Sisa's avatar

yep, If they keep following in Jesus footsteps.

delirium's avatar

HA, no! I’m an atheist, my SO of four years is theistic.

zepoman's avatar

My wife and I often have quite divergent views on politics, religion, etc. While I often find her opinions highly annoying, on reflection, I’ve come to realize that our different views enrich our family experience. However, if one partner is very rigid or “fundamentalist” in their belief style and not open to alternative ways of understanding our wonderfully complex world, it would be best if they find a mate from within their own species. Boring, but best.

cake7's avatar

Love is blind. Love see no boundaries. Different beliefs are nothing. Love conquers all.

Sisa's avatar

O I would agree with @cake7

Noon's avatar

I think we hope that love would conquer all, but in reality if you have strong belief system, that is not only different but contradictory to you SO, then there could be some major problems. Someone’s belief system permeates their life entirely, they will not be able to, nor should they, put their beliefs on hold when with their SO. Sooner or later you will have to compromise, and you must be willing to do that if you want to continue with the relationship.

cwilbur's avatar

I think it helps to have a solid relationship if you are aren’t arguing over which church to go to, or whether to go to church, or whether to vote Democrat or Republican. No relationship will survive with constant arguments and conflicts.

You can achieve this lack of conflict by both agreeing, or by respecting each others’ decisions and viewpoints.

TheGreenBrideGuide's avatar

It is very hard – especially if you want to have children. It is probably a good idea to sit down and try to hash out some of the major conflicts before making the commitment. Do you want your children christened? Bar mitzvahed? Where will you spend holidays? How about money – do you have similar ideas of what is worth spending money on and how much to save (and for what). Does one of you believe in giving more to charity? Sex? My point is it depends on what those differences are – whether they are things you are willing to compromise on (and give in on in many cases) or if you both have non- negotiables at risk. I disagree with cake7 – love is a very important first step – but marriage is about a life of working together and making decisions about EVERYTHING as a couple. It is a hard line to walk if you are not close together on most of The Big Ones. My husband and I have very similar values and aesthetics – it helps! Kate @

gooch's avatar

I honestly think it is essential in a lifetime relationship that you have the same beliefs

theloveprophet's avatar

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
[2 Corinthians 6;14]

If you are talking a Christian and some other belief system, the words of Paul are very clear.
I’m actually a hypocrite on this one though. I started dating a girl who wasn’t a Christian, but now she is :)

drownedtosleep's avatar

Honestly religion would play a huge role in your family system, and if you are too different it could cause a great amount of strife. If you can respect each other and let your kids decide for themselves it could definitely work. In the end it just depends on how strong your love is and if you are truly in love religious differences become trivial.

GAMBIT's avatar

No I don’t believe that it is necessary for two people to have the same beliefs to have a successful marriage it may help at times but all people must learn to be tolerant of other peoples opinions. Marriage has a lot to do with trust and sharing. If two people love and respect each other they wont let anything come between them not politics or religion. Find someone who cares about you and that makes you happy. Alfred Nobel the Swedish Industrialist said “A heart can no more be forced to love than a stomach can be forced to digest food by persuasion”.

Follow your heart it will lead you to the right person.

jvgr's avatar

The only beliefs a successful couple requires is the belief in each other. Everything else is optional.

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