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OmegaGraham's avatar

How does visiting your family, make you feel?

Asked by OmegaGraham (115points) May 6th, 2010

I love them but honestly most of the time, I come away feeling pretty down on myself. My mam and my sister can be very undermining and domineering. I’m sure they don’t mean to but they make me feel pretty useless sometimes.

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12 Answers

tranquilsea's avatar

Something I noticed after I spent a good amount of time away from my family: I had grown, but they wanted to slot me back into who I was when I was 16. I love my family and I decided that I wasn’t going to let them.

But it sounds like your situation is a little more involved. Have you ever spoken to your mom and your sister about how they treat you? If not, you may want to. My family is very sarcastic and we can often tread on people’s feelings. It is good information to know when you’ve hurt someone’s feelings inadvertently.

Berserker's avatar

Most of my family is either dead, or they hate me. So I denno.

Storybooklover's avatar

I never feel good enough. I’m not doing enough with my life, the house isn’t clean enough, etc. They don’t say this but sometimes it’s what they don’t say.

iLove's avatar

Great question. I absolutely dread visiting my family. They are from the bible belt in NC. As a teenager, I had a mentally ill mother who abused me (rest her soul) and as a result, I ran away from home a few times. I think they never correlated the two, and always talked sh*t about me for leaving.

I moved to Florida for this reason, and to get past the bible thumping and narrow mindedness. They still ask me when I am going to move back in their slow drawls.

My new saying is, “Thank goodness for my friends, they are the family I choose”

chels's avatar

Even after all the bullshit, all the drama, and all the abuse, I have to admit, I love seeing my family now. Moving out of my mom’s was the best possible thing for both the rest of my family and I. Now I can’t wait to visit them (I go every six months or so) and every time I’m there we all have lots of fun. I couldn’t be happier when I visit, that’s for sure. :D

xxii's avatar

I love visiting my family. They’re by no means perfect or drama-free; my mom has issues with my uncle, who has issues with my grandfather, who has issues with my other uncle, who has issues with my cousin… etc etc.

Sure, they make me feel inadequate at times, and my parents and I have huge arguments and quarrels about our religious differences. But they are equally flawed characters who I’ve come to know and love throughout my entire life.

I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I would like, but each time I am surrounded by them, I feel a sense of warmth, comfort and joy. I know this sounds cliche, but after all the fights and drama, they’re part of me, and part of my life.

marinelife's avatar

I can really relate to what you said. For a period of time when I was feeling particularly vulnerable, I stopped seeing or talking to my mom for about a year after she acted particularly egregious.

I also developed the habit of seeing them one-on-one never in a pack (when they can hamstring you and pull you down).

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I like seeing them as they are alot of fun to be around :)

Vunessuh's avatar

I have mixed feelings about visiting my parents. I love them dearly and I truly enjoy spending time with them, but every single time I leave to go back home, (I live 5 hours away) I get a little sad and depressed. It’s not necessarily because I feel homesick or I miss them or anything, but this panic and concern hits me because they’re old and unhealthy and I freak a little about whether or not it could be the last time I get to see one of them. But after a few days of freaking out about it, I’m fine. Among several other reasons for why it makes me sad to both visit and walk away, I still try to put the negative thoughts in the back of my mind so I can enjoy my time with them, no matter how bittersweet it is.

@Symbeline Aw. ((Hug))

BoBo1946's avatar

@OmegaGraham very good question…oh me, this is hard to answer without being real negative…and i try hard not be negative! Without writing a best-selling book on the subject, best to just say this…it ain’t easy!

susanc's avatar

My parents divorced when I was 15, married new people when I was 17, and after that I was always a poor relation. It was never my family again. But I liked my parents, and I liked my stepfather, and my stepmother was non-harmful. So visiting was good, except that whenever I visited one of them, the other one got upset. Sigh. I miss my parents, and talk to them when I’m talking walks, and we laugh.

mattbrowne's avatar

Looking forward to it.

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