Social Question

definitive's avatar

Fight or Flight...what do you choose to do?

Asked by definitive (789points) May 9th, 2010

I’ve been feeling pretty stressed lately and it sometimes feels that everybody wants a piece of me.

As a result I’m often feeling quite ‘flighty’ in that a couple of nights ago I had a really strong urge at 10pm after an argument with my partner to drive to my brothers who lives about 2 hours away.

Obviously I didn’t act upon it but I often get these urges when I am really stressed to just ‘get away’.

What do you do when you’re feeling particularly stressed or when you’ve had an argument…do you stay and fight or do you take flight?

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29 Answers

Scooby's avatar

When I get stressed I tend to bottle it up until I get home, then I just go into the garage & take it all out on the bunch bag! :-/
pure stress relief!! In a bag! :-)

faye's avatar

I remember driving south by myself one day when my kids were small, my husband drinking, and thinking I could just drive south to california. Like you I didn’t go. Mostly I stay to fight, sometimes too long.

definitive's avatar

@Scooby .. yes lol you’ve just made me have a flash back to when I used to go to kick boxing many moons ago…to be honest it did really help my stress levels or maybe I was just more placid back then :-)

Anyway I should seriously consider taking it back up again and take it all out on a punch bag too :-)

dpworkin's avatar

I prefer to fight, and fight dirty. It’s not a very adaptive solution. I’m trying to change.

Scooby's avatar


Go for it! ;-)
Taking it out on the bag is wisest thing to do, taking it out on those that wind us up just ends up in a court date! :-/

Draconess25's avatar

Metaphorically, I flee. But in an actual confrontation, I fight like hell!

BoBo1946's avatar

umm..depends on what I’m fighting for…major things, will fight hard. Minor things, i just let it go!

kyanblue's avatar

In a confrontation, I fight. I hate backing down. A family member I’m close to (but obviously frustrates me a lot!) has a habit of trying to shut down an argument early on by saying something like, “Well, I was having a good day until you brought up this topic, and now we shouldn’t discuss it anymore.” Obviously in that kind of situation I can’t just shut up, because it would feel too much like accepting the blame. I used to be conciliatory. Then I realized I was just being a doormat and reversed direction. ;)

In a stressful situation, I take flight and seek out something that will allow me to escape, calm down, and go back and deal with the stress later. (After an hour or two it’s not ‘coping’, it’s ‘procrastination’, but I’m working on that part.)

BoBo1946's avatar

@kyanblue we all do..hate to back down…but, “there is a time to hold and there is a time to fold…sometimes, for the good of the whole, best to walk away! Plus, you will live longer!

perspicacious's avatar

If this happens often enough to post a question, seems that fighting is happening too often. Take a look at your relationship. I see no reason to fight, but when disagreement occurs, I certainly don’t think leaving solves anything.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

For me it’s always fight…or not give a damn ;)

evandad's avatar

I was going to say fight, but then I realized you were talking about your lover. Flight!

shego's avatar

It all depends on the situation.
There are times when it is appropriate to fight, like something I strongly believe in. But I also know there are times when the battle will be lost, and I flee.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

With people important to me, I am inclined to argue but I believe in fighting fair.
With people I don’t respect or care for, I withdraw because I don’t value then enough to try and change their minds or give them the benefit of my knowledge or experience.

Ok, I sound somewhat pompous and judgmental. I just don’t care to waste my time.

YARNLADY's avatar

Definitely, go to them. When this all passes over, you will be able to resume your life on a more even keel.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Flight as fast as my wings can carry me. I choose the chicken approach.

ru5150's avatar

Depends. Does he have a gun and you have a knife. Do you have a gun while he has a knife. The math is simple. If you fight do you have a 99% chance of winning with no injury to yourself? Then fight. Otherwise run to the nearest armory or gun store. Then come back.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Like @Draconess25 , I tend to flee socially. If things get physical, I fight like hell.

Cruiser's avatar

I never pass up the chance for a good knock down! I say bring it on! ;)

BoBo1946's avatar

@Cruiser ok by golly…see you at the OK Corral at High Noon! be sure to come a packing!

a six pack of Michelob would be great!

Cruiser's avatar

@BoBo1946 Now that is my kind of packin! Can’t remember the last time I had a Mic!

BoBo1946's avatar

@Cruiser yeah, whole lot more fun to relax and talk about fighting, than to actually do it…good for the blood pressure!

definitive's avatar

@perspicacious…although the focus of my question was specific to an argument with my partner…I was also referring to the other stressors in my life i.e. work, teenage daughter etc :-)

I have been feeling ‘flighty’ in general…but yeah arguments can feel like issues are going round in circles and it sometimes makes me want to flee in the moment.

perspicacious's avatar

@definitive A relationship, work, and a teen daughter doesn’t describe an abnormally stressful life. Maybe if you take the possibility of flight off of the table you will put forth more energy to resolve issues without fighting. Just a thought.

kyanblue's avatar

Oh, no, teen daughters definitely make you feel stressful. It’s almost as bad as actually being a teenage girl.

BoBo1946's avatar

ummm…lately, would have answered the question differently. must be the moon effect! loll

mattbrowne's avatar

Mosquito: fight!

Rottweiler: flight!

Strauss's avatar

Someone once is supposed to have said, “Discretion is the better part of valor.”

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