Social Question

Sophief's avatar

Why don't people respect others anymore?

Asked by Sophief (6676points) May 10th, 2010

I was watching wife swap last night and one woman was so rude to her husband, bossed him around, made him pick after her, didn’t treat him like a man at all. There, there was a man that treated his woman like she was a cleaner, and nothing else.

Where has the respect gone in relationships?

I would never treat my man like that. I treat him how I want to be treated. I thought that was just the norm, but obviously it isn’t.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

38 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Actually, I think it is a mistake to take reality TV as the norm.

nyc_air's avatar

Please wife swap looks for crazy people like that to get ratings, @marinelife is right realitytv maybe real but it sure isn’t the norm

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

No one who would eagerly and willingly allow their families to be the brunt or the subject of a reality television show could ever be considered normal.

Trillian's avatar

Reality tv should all be considered as the trash that it is. People willing to prostitute themselves for face time with a camera are not only not normal, they have issues or they wouldn’t be doing it. They should not be emulated but censured. Time spent watching “reality” tv would be better spent doing just about anything else.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Although I’m sure these relationships are basically dysfunctional, remember, the producers want ratings, so they pick the crazy people, and the directors and editors pick the most dramatic moments of any given day, so you’re not seeing the whole truth of these relationships at all. There’s a narrative that’s been planned out and it’s all edited to raise the dramatic stakes.

Sophief's avatar

Ignore the tv programme. That was simply an example. The question is; Why don’t people respect each other?

nyc_air's avatar

Because we have this crazy notion embedded in our society that if we show respect were the under dog, and everyone wants to be better than everyone else. In high school i showed respect to my teachers, they loved me, but the rest of the class considered it a teacher’s pet attitude. I have learned that if you give respect, it will eventually come back to you.

bongo's avatar

There has always been a lack of respect with some people, that is the way humans are sometimes. people get into a rut and expect things that other people wouldnt expect. My housemate had a girlfriend who he cooked dinner for every night, not because she was busy but because he wanted to. One night he wanted to eat alone and couldnt be bothered cooking for two, his girlfiriend didnt realise that he wasnt cooking for her but then she didnt live with us, she came over expecting her dinner and he had eaten – he had not asked her to come over for tea. people shouldnt expect things like that they should take it as an extra luxury if you see what I mean. With some people once they get set in that rut they hate it if things change. you get used to not doing things for youself.
It is terrible yes, people should realise that other people are putting in alot of effort for them but i think that type of disrespect sneaks up over time and before you know it its hard to get out.
from my experience most people are very respectful at first, disrespect comes with reliance and routine.
and disrespect to strangers is just downright rude and offensive. people do that just to make other people feel bad so that the people they are offending feel worse than they do for a little bit.

Sophief's avatar

@bongo and @nyc_air Thank you for actually answering the question.

Trillian's avatar

Allow me to rephrase. Acting in a socially immature manner, whether it is being rude and ugly or completely whoring oneself out to strangers is what sells. There is, unfortunately, a vest number of people out there who are entertained by this sort of thing. They lack personal resources and would be bored by watching people simply engaged in conversation and pursuing normal activities quietly.
Again, these people are not normal and they are not to be taken as such. The standards that they are setting is shameful. The fact that an entire generation of kids are seeing this and being told that this behaviour is acceptable is even more shameful, as well as alarming.

perspicacious's avatar

I don’t think couples on a TV show called Wife Swap should be viewed as “the norm.”

Mikelbf2000's avatar

It’s not just in relationships but in life in general. People don’t want to respect others. It doesn’t cost anything to be nice and respectful to others and I’m confused on why people are so reluctant to be kind. I always treat people they way I want to be treated and sometimes it hits me right in the face but I have met some of the best people that way.

BoBo1946's avatar

to me, that kind of stuff is not the real World! never have watched reality stuff…just does not “jar my perserves!”

partyparty's avatar

If you are talking in a relationship situation, then respect should be a two way thing.
If it isn’t then one person is taking advantage of the other.
Reality shows are not real life. Just people wanting their ‘10 minutes of fame’ (in my opinion).

aprilsimnel's avatar

People who can’t respect others, but who themselves expected to be treated with the utmost deference are basically insecure and have a warped idea of what “respect” means. It doesn’t mean people are kowtowing to each other, but treating others in a cordial, polite fashion where one understands the other is also a person the same as themselves, and shows empathy one to another. I don’t think many people know what empathy means, either.

BoBo1946's avatar

yep, respect is a wonderful thing…where is mine today——we even got admonished in the social section..imagine that? loll

partyparty's avatar

@BoBo1946 I am sure there are many amongst us who respect you… and your fabulously funny ‘one liners’. Long may they continue to flourish !!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

For centuries men didn’t respect their wives whatsoever. It’s starting to change a bit given the end of last century. So I don’t know what you mean by ‘anymore’. To me equal respect in a relationship is a very new thing for this society.

evandad's avatar

Your original post is quite general. Then you give specific examples to back it up. I’m glad you treat your guy with respect, but I don’t really know what your point is.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I havenĀ“t read your info but from the question I would say that they don’t respect others because they don’t respect themselves.

xxii's avatar

I don’t think you can necessarily say that couples don’t respect each other anymore. I’d be willing to bet that for every couple where one person gets bossed around and disrespected, there are at least five other couples that treat each other with love and respect. For the same reason, only the “shock value” dramatic couple gets put on TV.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think some of it has to do with the way people are raised. For example, I have a lot of friends with children of all ages (but mostly elementary school aged). Some of my friends will allow their children to speak to them very disrespectfully (calling them names, yelling at them, etc.). I think that allowing children to do things like that teaches them that it’s acceptable. If I said some of the things these children say to their parents, I would have gotten a lecture about respect and gotten punished. These children don’t get any of that. Instead the parents either ignore it or insult the children back (children says mom is fat and stupid, mom say child is stupid back). To me, those actions don’t teach anything about how to respect another person and instead promotes disrespect.

tranquilsea's avatar

In my life I’m am respectful to my husband, children, friends and family and they, in turn are respectful back. There have always been people who lack respect, especially in a family situation. We’ve just never seen it because our private lives were just that: private. The advent of video cameras and the gradual erosion of what some people will do to get on TV or in the news has provided us with a view rarely seen in the past.

As @Simone_De_Beauvoir stated, respect towards women was a hit and miss thing as our status was debated prior to emancipation.

And then all the signals that are sent to us via most TV shows and media, don’t hold up loving respectful relationships as something we should strive and yearn for. Quite the opposite too often.

YARNLADY's avatar

I think respect is a concept that is developing over time, as society as a whole becomes more and more civilized.

saraaaaaa's avatar

Greed…power…globalisation…capitalism. People seem much more self centred than days of old, respect seems more paid for or demanded through mass media than actually earnt.

OliverYoung's avatar

You’re asking what’s wrong with this world.
And that’s it. Everyone.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I have always thought that respect should be earned rather than freely given. The difference is that today less people can respect a well presented argument from an alternate point of view, so they will only respect people who agree with them.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

The calibre of reality TV people aside, in some relationships where bitterness has built up over something/s then people begin to manifest their hurt and anger at each other in a lot of crappy ways. I’d hate to think partners solidify their relationships with this kind of treatment already in place but you never know.

roundsquare's avatar

To some degree I think that a lack of discipline is causing the problem. We want kinds to express themselves, but we let them do it any way they want, and a lot of times that teaches them its fine to tell their parents to f*** off.

For me, my parents always raised me to respect them, but in turn they gave me respect. If I had an idea, they listened to it. If I had a question, they answered it honestly. And as long as I was doing my “job” (getting good grades, doing chores, etc…) I was given enough freedom to do what I wanted.

Also, by admitting when they were wrong, they forced me to admit when I was wrong (which was a lot more often) and therefore I decided to learn from them instead of rebel against them.

But hey, I got lucky on this one. Also, I’m a huge nerd, just like my parents, so we connected on that level as well.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I’ve been married three times before and despite treating those women with respect, I was rarely treated with respect.
I have been married to my fourth wife for six years and we make use to treat each other with respect. We occasionally slip up a bit in frustration but we apologize and take responsibility for our behaviour.
I wish my children had grown up in a family when they consistently saw their both their parents routinely treated with respect.

mattbrowne's avatar

In the real world respectful people still do.

Silhouette's avatar

I’m with you, I don’t get it. How do you clown him\her and then walk next to him or her. Seems like this is the age of throw away relationships.

Nullo's avatar

Deep down, people suck. We have developed tools like manners to shield each other from our suckiness. But if you never learn them, or if you cast them off in the name of progressiveness or something, you’re going to be a very stinky flower in life’s bouquet.

mattbrowne's avatar

@Nullo – I couldn’t disagree more.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Because they don’t have respect 4 themselves…

SufiClown's avatar

This is the age of irreverence. Kids are being conditioned to believe that virtues like kindness and politeness are merely decorative and they show you as being weak. This message is spreading like wild fire. So insecure people who don’t want to look weak themselves disrespect others,in order to feel stronger.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@SufiClown “Kids are being conditioned to believe that virtues like kindness and politeness are merely decorative and they show you as being weak.”
You seem to imply this is something new – kindness and politeness were considered weaknesses in almost every ancient civilisation. In fact they are only relatively recent concepts that are a product of our modern world.

Jabe73's avatar

@SufiClown I agree with you and as a society we should work to change this but @FireMadeFlesh made a good point, this is nothing new. In fact I said this same thing in a similar forum on here.

I do not think ANYTHING on tv should be taken as “reality”.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther