Social Question

janedelila's avatar

He's never strayed, but I still have jealousy problems. Why?

Asked by janedelila (3904points) May 12th, 2010

For a year and a half, I don’t trust him. He never did anything (it’s a small town, I’d know). I’ve never been jealous before him…what’s up with that?

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12 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

You are another typical person with self-esteem issues and low confidence.

janedelila's avatar

Suddenly? I was fine before. I am awesome now. Just a weird psych question about why for no reason I feel this way….

deni's avatar

Maybe you love him more than you have boyfriends before so you worry more and/or you feel like he’s too good for you? Doesn’t seem that crazy…

Silhouette's avatar

What have you been up to? Maybe you’re projecting.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

This sounds like something you really need to talk out in detail with a therapist. Anything we could do here would be guessing.

jazmina88's avatar


marinelife's avatar

It is a problem with you, not him. It is your self-esteem that is the issue. I recommend that you see a therapist before you drive him away.

Lacking that, consider reading the book Self Parenting.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

It’s a year and half you’ve been together but what kind of comittment have you made each other? Could it be you’ve been holding out for something that hasn’t been discussed between you or come to maturity on it’s own yet? Have you been working for the relationship to go to another level but it doesn’t feel like he’s there or has the same thing in mind?

Kismet's avatar

I’ve been in a similar situation with someone I consider my soul mate, but I recognize why I feel the way I do, and I’m assuming you feel the same.
You are insecure, afraid to lose him. You’ve made mistakes in the past (either with this relationship or another) and even if you don’t plan on doing it again, it still effects the way you might see others because you’ve done it yourself. You have low self esteem, you don’t feel you deserve him and you think that he’ll run off with another lady, even if he is perfectly content with you.

My boyfriend and I are going through this, because I’m insecure for these reasons.
I’m trying very hard to change this feeling, but I know it is hard.

Trust your boyfriend. If he hasn’t given you a reason to be jealous, then don’t be so!

perspicacious's avatar

You have to figure this out for yourself; no way for us to tell you why you feel jealous.

Aethelwine's avatar

If he’s going to cheat, he will. Jealousy will only push him away. I don’t know why you are feeling this way, but you need to realize that he will do what he wants to do. Be happy with what you have and live in the moment, otherwise you are creating your own destiny.

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