Social Question

Ponderer983's avatar

Is anyone else tired of answering and seeing relationship questions just restated?

Asked by Ponderer983 (6406points) May 18th, 2010

Relationships all essentially to the core have the same problems. Is anyone else tired of seeing the same essential problem rephrased to specific individuals and giving out the same advice over and over again?

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42 Answers

CMaz's avatar

Old for you. New for someone else. :-)

Funny thing about relationships. They never go away.

hug_of_war's avatar

Meh, if you don’t like them don’t read them

Seaofclouds's avatar

Relationship questions don’t bother me and sometimes the details can lead to a major change in the answer that I give.

kevbo's avatar

Yes, but there’s a lot of irrationality and narcissism tied up in those questions. It’s a shame there isn’t some kind of manual that actually works and that people would actually follow. Plus, you’re likely dealing with a lifetime of programming around sex and commitment. It takes some consistent head beating to change that if change is needed.

I guess the bottom line is that there’s good money to be made by creating a product to get people from point A to point B.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

You don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to. What really pisses me off is that people are actually being banned from the site for asking them now. This goes far beyond the stated intent of the new rules recently brought in.

trailsillustrated's avatar

wha??? banned for asking them? I always read em- I don’t get that tired of em I love to read all the answers

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@trailsillustrated Yes. Sophief (formerly Dibley) was just banned.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land From what I’ve heard, I don’t think her ban was because of asking relationship questions (but I’m no mod so who knows)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Seaofclouds That’s about all she ever did.

liminal's avatar

Somebody please tell me a user wasn’t banned for the types of questions they ask. Please.

trailsillustrated's avatar

! booo I always like those questions even if I just read em with the answers- plus I’m with @liminal – thats really what I mean

Blackberry's avatar

No, because everyone has the same problems, just at different intervals. If there is something that you have not experienced before, and then asked questions about it, it would be rude for someone to say “Many of us have already been through this, so look here instead…”, or something along those lines.

marinelife's avatar

I find them never endingly fascinating.

trailsillustrated's avatar

i can understand getting banned for being a total ass but so what if your interest is one thing

IBERnineD's avatar

I thought I would share this screenshot from my account just because it made me laugh.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

Yeah, I wish we didn’t have to see so many. Is there any way that we can get them put into the “social” category. After all, if a relationship isn’t social, I don’t know what is…

Coloma's avatar

I answer them infrequently as I am beyond the hardcore pull of the romantic angst of my younger years. haha

If the question is posed with a sense of maturity and sincerity I might answer, otherwise I have no interest in the teeny bopper ?‘s such as ’ How can I pick up boys at the mall.’

My picking up boys at the mall days were over in about 1976 lol

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@liminal Quite a few have been banned for persistent nasty remarks.

Ponderer983's avatar

Maybe it’s because I get frustrated because I have been through a lot in relationships and get frustrated when people can’t see past a certain point. Most times when they answer their own question like “I know I should…” Well do it then, ya know! I just want to wrangle them together and shake some sense intot hem. And everyone’s situation is different, and without actually being IN the relationship, it hard to give advice because you don’t know all the ins and outs of it.

marinelife's avatar

@IBERnineD That is hilarious!

chyna's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land If you will read this thread down at almost the bottom, Augustlan addresses the issue of sophief. She was not banned for asking relationship questions and that will never happen on this site. I hate when this type of misinformation is passed on as truth.

liminal's avatar

@chyna: Thank you for telling me :)

Dog's avatar

[Mod Says:] People are not banned because they ask a question unless:

1. The question contains racial slurs or are deliberately spamming or trolling.

2. They have been asking the same exact question over and over. (Anyone remember Boy George Girl?)

In most cases above a warning is issued and the user is given a chance to change inappropriate behavior. The goal is never to get rid of users- banning is always a last resort.

Let’s please get back on topic now which is “Is anyone else tired of answering and seeing relationship questions just restated?” :)

CMaz's avatar

Now you now why NO ONE wants a talking dog. ;-)

evandad's avatar

Absolutely, but it gives me a little nostalgic charge. (Answerbag)

kenmc's avatar

Yeah, it’s getting old. And there seems to be more every day.

Berserker's avatar

It annoys me because relationships are all about discovery and experience. Some good some bad, but it’s not something that comes with instructions that you can just shape and plan how you will.
It doesn’t annoy me that people ask for advice, of course it’s going to happen, and for something like a relationship you need all the advice you can get…but the way it’s being treated and approached is disturbing.
You don’t buy relationships at Wall Mart and assemble them, and it just totally seems that some people, asking or answering, have their mentalities on the subject still stuck to the days where marriage was performed to maintain royal status or wealth.
It’s also, in my opinion, in the same line of asininity of people online coming to ask strangers of Fluther what they should name their kids, or relying on the community’s favoured opinion on whether or not they should leave their partner. srsly wtf

CMaz's avatar

It is spring time.

silverfly's avatar

It’s nice for people to be able to come here and get help and advice in tough times. And it’s equally nice to be able to give, so no… I don’t think they get old. If they ever do, I’ll just skip them.

YARNLADY's avatar

In my experience, when a site gets bogged down with relationship questions, it goes down the drain, but so far, Fluther is far from that happening. I usually skip them, and I find plenty of other things here to keep me busy.

janbb's avatar

It only bothers me when I see the same person asking the same relationship question over and over again expecting to get different answers.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein

Dog's avatar

@janbb Please flag duplicates. :)

jeneatha's avatar

many people have the same problem and are looking for a diffrent answer then the one they are given. but many dont read others post so they dont think their question is the same old

perspicacious's avatar

Yes. By the way, I haven’t heard from my boyfriend in five weeks; is it over?

Trillian's avatar

Second the aboves. The childishness of the “relationship” questions that are being posted are beyond boring and the ones who ask again and again obviously do not need to be answered twice because they did not listen the first time.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@chyna She didn’t address the issue, she evaded the issue. I don’t consider what I said misinformation. I hate it when people are kicked off the site for no stated reason.

augustlan's avatar

[mod says] I will address this one more time. Sophief was not banned for asking relationships questions. Period. It is against our policy to publicly state our reasons for removing someone unless they are clearly a troll, so that is all the information I will divulge. The issue is between the site and the banned member, only.

Now, all further off-topic responses will be removed. If anyone has a reply to this, please PM me rather than continue to derail this individual’s question.

liminal's avatar

It depends on how well the question is worded and whether it is the same person asking the same thing. I can understand somebody being so deep in denial or pain that they don’t even realize they are asking the same thing, until after the fact, when people start pointing it out. I don’t see the point of being frustrated with somebody blinded or stuck in pain. I simply choose not follow or answer questions that I no longer have input on. I take my energy elsewhere.

mattbrowne's avatar

No. But Fluther could develop a feature to make it easy to point to an FAQ list with the top 500 questions and answers.

Ponderer983's avatar

@mattbrowne Good idea! I just hope these people would know to look there!

mattbrowne's avatar

I’d like to suggest the following to the mods, admins and owners of Fluther. Every question should have one additional link right at the top, for example for this one it’d be

Is anyone else tired of answering and seeing relationship questions just restated?

Asked by Ponderer983 (719points) | asked 3 days ago | 41 responses | “Great Question” (1points) | Suggest mapping to FAQ | Flag as…

When clicking on this link the user (with lurve greater than 5000) enters the new FAQ section where frequently asked existing Fluther questions with the highest number of Great Answer scores appear and this experienced user can select from it (some help with navigation would be useful e.g. basic categories). When this is done, the new link at the top changes to

Is anyone else tired of answering and seeing relationship questions just restated?

Asked by Ponderer983 (719points) | asked 3 days ago | 41 responses | “Great Question” (1points) | See related question in FAQ list | Flag as


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