Social Question

silverfly's avatar

What could have happened to my old friendship?

Asked by silverfly (4045points) May 18th, 2010

I used to be best friends with this guy when I lived in California. We were friends since we were little kids. I moved away during 6th grade, but we still got to hang out occasionally until I moved away for high school. The last time we saw each other was when I was 14.

It has now been over 10 years since we’ve spoken. He finally showed up on Facebook a few weeks ago and I’ve tried to contact him, but he’s unresponsive. I haven’t heard a word from him despite messages, wall posts, photo comments etc. I’ve seen that he’s been active because he’ll occasionally post photos or talk with others. He even added himself as a fan of my art.

So my question is: what the hell happened? We never had a falling out or argument. We just lost touch. It looks like we live fairly different lifestyles, but I can’t imagine that has impacted his decision to drop a note. I wouldn’t be so persistent if I wasn’t so confused.

So, any insight into the possibilities of the breakdown of our friendship would be most welcomed.

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9 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

Maybe you’re reading too much into it? I know sometimes I’ll have regular Facebook interactions with people, but not answer certain people because I don’t have the time to devote to writing a decent reply.

I would just ask him. What’s there to lose?

chyna's avatar

I usually only add people that I will actually be talking to. People from high school have added me that never spoke to me in high school. I added them, but then they never speak to me on facebook. So I have stopped adding anyone I know I will not have a conversation with. All this to say that maybe after 10 years, he doesn’t feel he has anything to say to you.

evandad's avatar

I’ve had similar experiences with old friends I’ve found on FB. I’ve also made new friends there that I have a steady stream of communication with. I don’t really know why.

stardust's avatar

Maybe you are reading too much into it. Sometimes it takes me a while to respond to friends I don’t see on a regular basis – simply because it takes more time and effort to write a decent reply, as @poofandmook said.
Other than that, maybe it’s because ye’ve not spoken in such a long time and he doesn’t have much to say?
If it’s really bothering you and you want him in your life, then maybe send him a pm. Otherwise, go with the flow of it

JeffVader's avatar

Perhaps your old friendship was more important to you than it was to him….

PacificToast's avatar

Maybe he has his own Facebook standards that he only adds people he speaks to. I think the pursuing of this friendship is one sided. I’ve tried to connect to old friends before but it usually ended up an awkward mess.

silverfly's avatar

@stardust I’ve sent him an email. I can’t just privately message him. I’m not going to lose my marbles over the situation, but it just seems weird. We were inseparable as kids so I thought it would be a no-brainer if we ever got to hang out again. I guess times change.

smiln32's avatar

Maybe it’s time for you to move on. I’m not trying to be mean, but some things just aren’t meant to be revived. It’s not easy, that’s for sure.

silverfly's avatar

@smiln32 Yeah. I’m not really having difficulty letting go. Again, I haven’t spoken to him in years and it was a childhood friendship. I’m not all broken up over the situation; I just wanted to explore the possibilities of why this might be happening. It seems weird to me. I don’t really have a choice but to move on. I think I’ll live. :) Still would be cool to catch up with the guy, but owell!

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